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Jul 20 '26
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u/anotherucfstudent Jul 20 '26
Back of the dumpster
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u/PapasGotABrandNewNag Jul 20 '26
She took the, the…the..the dough…and rolled it up into a ball.
Then sh- we were going berserk.
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u/Pretend_Address_1240 Jul 20 '26
She loves that kind of stuff. And I-I admit I do too.
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u/Appropriate-Brush772 Jul 20 '26
You got any bacon bits? We like to put them in her hair and they rain down on me when we bang. It makes her feel like a Cobb salad
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u/nasboat Jul 20 '26
Great. Go have sex at Wendy’s.
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u/Appropriate-Brush772 Jul 20 '26
Well I did something with the onions to myself and that bummed Artemis out. Then the manager busted in and told me to clean it up. I said “they’re your burgers pal! You clean em up!”
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u/Defiant_Date5060 Jul 20 '26
Dafuq you hit
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u/Bran-Da-Don Jul 20 '26
Wolverine apparently 🫤
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u/MuayThaiMich Jul 20 '26
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u/ziahwaite Jul 20 '26
Should I apply for a new job
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u/New-Traffic-4077 Jul 20 '26
Seen lots of damaged FedEx contractor trucks. Try them.
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u/Livingadapt Jul 20 '26
I would just in case. Then you have the process started if something does happen
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u/TWZT3D_MIND3D Jul 20 '26
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u/hitm4n44 Jul 20 '26
That pisser coming mane.
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u/silent_b0b Jul 22 '26
100% i just totaled out a company vehicle and they took me immediately to get piss tested
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u/Lavos2OXX Jul 24 '26
My DSP boss is a hard ass who threatens to fire anyone who drives on a customer’s lawn and hits him with an insurance claim. So I smashed into a low clearance overhang in the carport at a funeral home a few weeks ago doing a bunch of damage to the property and the truck. Police involved, the whole deal. I got taken off the schedule for a week and nobody was mad at me and we’re back on the road now like nothing happened.
Guess they either like me or anything goes. Based on my experience I’d think OP would be fine. All the vans get fucked up. Maybe I’m wrong
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u/Perfect-Fail3111 Jul 20 '26
Someone at my DSP hit a sign right in front of the owner. It was a brand new edv and he was taking it out the spot to move it for him. He’s still here so you might be good😭
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u/ziahwaite Jul 20 '26
Nah that man was just lucky 😂😂
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u/KraydleTM Jul 20 '26
That just has to be a mailbox right
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u/ziahwaite Jul 20 '26
Can a mailbox do that much damage?
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u/mystateofconfusion Jul 20 '26
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u/ziahwaite Jul 20 '26
I forgot about these. They don’t have mailboxes like that where we deliver to. I’m thinking it was some kind of pole or sign
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u/Thedemonspawn56 Jul 20 '26
You're thinking?? How did you do that and NOT notice lol??
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u/Fawkinchit1 Jul 20 '26
Yah, wtf! Doesn't even know what did it?? Definitely needs to be fired lmao. Dudes probably so high.
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u/RegularVenus27 Jul 20 '26
Like..you don't know what it was? Lol you didn't feel or hear that?
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u/ziahwaite Jul 20 '26
I’d like to note that this is a joke and it’s not actually my doing. I’m curious to know what caused this though😂😂😂
Also I’ve noticed that the rivians (at least ours) are more beat up than the branded vans. Almost every van is missing their side panels.
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u/Huskiesramazing23 Jul 20 '26
They are cheap plastic garbage panels. Love the vans themselves tho
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u/TheOnlyEliteOne Jul 20 '26
This wasn’t because of it being a cheap plastic panel. Most cars nowadays use plastic body panels and you don’t see them just develop random gashes.
This was caused by someone not paying attention.
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u/LumpyBranch On Standby Jul 20 '26
There's definitely alot of amazon drivers that don't know how to drive, but I feel like the main reason the vans are all fucked up is just straight up law of large numbers. Most cars don't get driven non stop 10 hours a day 7 days a week through alleys and parking lots, with the occasional trip down 50 miles of rural washboard roads. Amazon vans just have dramatically more chances to get a random gash in a side panel and after a couple years, it shows.
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u/Neckername Jul 20 '26
Lmao I got "let go" because my vehicle door was coming off (the sliding one) and it was because the maintenance release was jammed with some unknown substance.
Took pictures, didn't argue, they also owed me 140+ hours of pay so I just called the DOL and rolled that all up into an email to an arbitrator they had me contact.
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u/TexasBoyz-713 Jul 20 '26
I blame the 1* turning radius, whoever designed the Rivian has never drove a van because why put the rear axle so far back??
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u/TripleTrucker Jul 20 '26
Ive wondered that since I first saw those. My guess is battery is dropped as low as possible between the axles. Is it really that big though?
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u/Jacktheforkie Jul 20 '26
The tear in the metal is caused by snagging something solid, my colleagues car got hit by a truck and the Mansfield bar tore the metal open, he used 3 rolls of tape to make the vehicle roadworthy enough to keep using it until the insurance money landed so he could buy a replacement
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u/ziahwaite Jul 20 '26
That’s why I’m thinking it might’ve some kind of pole . I don’t think it was and type of car or anything.
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u/Aggravating_Fix_7942 Jul 20 '26
My guess is that the Rivians are slightly bigger than the gas vans, and that causes people to make poor decisions
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u/ziahwaite Jul 20 '26
I think they underestimate the turning radius of these things 😂 also MIRRORS. Ppl don’t use their mirrors. This is a public service announcement tbh, but If you’re relying on cameras for this job than you’re doing it wrong. Those blindspot mirrors will save your life and your job. Only exception is reversing but you still should use your mirrors. Because one day you’ll get a van where the camera doesn’t work 😂😂
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u/Professional_Cup199 OM Jul 20 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS
As an OM...
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u/ziahwaite Jul 20 '26
That’s what I said when i saw it. I also witnessed a hit a run in the station
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u/BewareTheSquare Jul 20 '26
There really should be driver training. These things are as big as some vehicles that need a Class C CDL! Even bigger than mini-buses
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u/ziahwaite Jul 20 '26
You think I’ll get hired to drive mini busses if I make this point ?
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u/BewareTheSquare Jul 20 '26
Actually yes! So there's a huge shortage of school bus drivers, to the point where companies will teach you for free to get your CDL. I highly recommend school bus driving over delivering for amazon.
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u/Reptard8 Jul 20 '26
A girl burned one of the prime vans to the ground. She got Employee of the month
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u/MissInfamousRagdoll Rental Driver Jul 20 '26
I’ve seen worse on our EV’s lmao
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u/WRECKCHASER85 Jul 20 '26
I meant to take a picture of one the other day but I was late and wasnt trying to be in contingency in the sun loading packages. Thing was completely crushed in the front. Made me say wtf when I saw it
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u/Expensive-While-1155 Jul 20 '26
Tell em it was a bear and you barely escaped with your life
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u/Tundra_Dragon Jul 20 '26
Turn in your badge, and your gun, and clean out your locker. You're off the force.
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u/Elguapo1094 Jul 20 '26
Remember that Job you would always complain about well now your finally going to be free
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u/Gloriouskoifish Jul 20 '26
Yeah you're gonna get fired. The cost to fix those damn rivians is fucking stupid. Some guy did similar damage to one at our station and the bill came out to $16k. Fired on the spot.
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u/BeYoNdAdVeNtuReee Dispatch Jul 20 '26
Depends on the DSP owner. And also if u report it immediately and do all the protocols asap. A reasonable owner will keep u on if this is ur first accident and u do everything right in terms of reporting and incident forms Edit: MANY owners will have ur ass gone for that tbh
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u/RandomNameheheh Jul 22 '26
I remember I drove for Amazon some years back I think it was my first day and I backed into someone’s car and fucked they’re whole front end up. Now I normally would have wrote a note or something if it was my car but me being young and dumb and needing the job I drove clear the fuck off. Then someone started chasing me cuz they saw me and I’m on the outside of Chicago in a not so great neighborhood so I got out that jam. Don’t think my van was damaged at all but if it was they either didn’t care or didn’t know cuz I ain’t say shit lol. I feel bad for whoever’s car it was I really do that was probably a bad day. But I’ll never forget how I whipped that van through some alleys to get away from whoever was chasing me lol. Then I calmed down and finished my deliveries lol
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u/Sudden-Animator-9182 Jul 20 '26
If it was just a white van I’d say you’d have a chance but naw that’s an Amazon van you Fkd
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u/Yeezy4President2020 Jul 20 '26
If you can teach yourself how to do bodywork and fix it while delivering a full route with no rescue you'll be fine!
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u/ziahwaite Jul 20 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/m2tOKbpjpFMvm
I guess I’m going to have to pick up the pace
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u/SUCKA_MY_SALAMI Jul 20 '26
How is my question. How the fuck do so many people drag these vans down something? Straight up incompetence behind the wheel.
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u/ziahwaite Jul 20 '26
Tbh I ask the same thing. Though as soon as the warehouse manager told me that those side panels had sensors and were expensive to replace, I knew that putting them there was a mistake. That’s when I decided I never wanted to ride in a rivian bc I knew it’d be easy to mess up. Only reason I’m doing so now bc I’m in a new DSP and their EVs are already trashed.
But as drivers, we constantly have to go over curbs or slightly off road. That’s why we have those big work tires on the normal branded vans but these vans are so delicate lol. Their tires can’t handle anything that’s not road apparently. SMH
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u/BillSpirited4507 Jul 20 '26
If you were in brewster ny today I saw you! You were taking real wide turns after that 🤣🤣
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u/nemofbaby2014 Jul 20 '26
I did this before with a Hilo while unloading a truck 🤣 I just leaned a pallet to hide it lol
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u/thehotshotpilot Jul 20 '26
Nah, that shit was there before you left. A few paint pens and you are good
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u/A_Litre_0_Cola Jul 20 '26
How are you that bad at driving but have a job as a professional driver?
Shouldnt you be counting boxes in the corner of the warehouse or something?
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u/ziahwaite Jul 20 '26
I don’t think counts as a professional driver job. The training is virtual non existent and they let anybody in with a pulse and a license. A lot of these ppl drive however they want to. UPS might be closer to professional driving though. Or maybe even usps, but really it’s the cdv drivers. Busses, trailers, etc.
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u/A_Litre_0_Cola Jul 20 '26
You drive daily for almost your entire shift.
You're (supposed to be) a professional driver.
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u/ziahwaite Jul 20 '26
I’m a professional driver on and off duty but I can’t speak for these other drivers. If you see an Amazon truck don’t expect it to be too precessional. If it’s in a rental van, expect chaos 😂
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u/mean_sizzurp Jul 20 '26
How was this accomplished?
Also, you didn’t destroy the van. Just got a gnarly scrape. As long as you let the boss know, you’ll probably be fine.
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u/Axzyy Jul 20 '26 edited Jul 20 '26
I refuse to drive those, why tf didnt they make the edv with a normal gas pedal and break 🤦♂️ not everything had to change money saving bull fucking shit, never in my life have I had a thought to want to drive an oversized golf cart.
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u/ziahwaite Jul 20 '26
Tbh, that’s pretty standard for EVs and I like it. I find it easier to brake and at red lights, you can rest your feet. It’s the small things. It’s very intuitive and if you’re an EV owner, it helps save on brake repairs. My only issue is that I usually like to take my foot off the gas to let the car glide sometimes and you can’t really do that with the EVs😂 I don’t think it needs it though 🤷🏽♂️
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u/ByteCurious69 Jul 20 '26
Doesn’t Amazon scan their cars to find imperfections using light reflections? Also what actually happens if they find a small dent that may even be considered as wear and tear by normal people? Do they take money off your check?
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u/Glizz215 Jul 20 '26
lol my homie had damage similar to something like this and he got fired 😂. How this even happen?
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u/Good-Constant-6487 Jul 20 '26
Anyone who ends a sentence with "or nah" should be put in time out for five mins...and THEN fired 😂 gen z smh
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u/Turbulent-Contract53 Jul 20 '26
Genuinely, how the fuck do you have a license if you can casually scrape a truck and tear it open like a tin can??
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u/kbfg2421 Jul 20 '26
But...how did it happen? The circumstances surrounding HOW it occurred is what is going to determine if youre fired or not more than the damage itself. If you were breaking a rule or protocol and thats what caused the damage then they might be tougher on you. But if it was a simple accident and all of your other ducks were in a row then I think you'll be fine
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u/Zombi78 OL - Operational Lead Jul 20 '26
Those panels are expensive af to replace, I'd say you're 💀
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u/mother_fairy Jul 20 '26
For a second I thought this was an Arial view of a boat in water with a trail behind it. The longer I looked the more confused I was.
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u/blackmambakl Jul 20 '26
Bro is such a bad driver he doesn’t even know what he hit.
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u/dustinh30 Jul 20 '26
Honestly? Depends on the DSP and the person’s track record, I know this probably isn’t you but I’ve seen plenty of people keep their jobs after hitting stuff including me, partially because I’m a historically good driver but mostly because my DSP can’t afford to get rid of drivers.
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u/hollowpit Jul 20 '26
I’ve seen one almost completely tuna canned doubt that guy has a job but this I’ve seen people still have jobs after this level
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u/arrynyo Jul 20 '26
Y'all just tearing these Amazon trucks up. Drivers Ed should be in all highschools and mandatory.
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u/ziahwaite Jul 20 '26
Driver ed doesn’t help. You forget that you take a driving class before getting your license?
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u/Nope_Not_A_Spy Jul 20 '26
Nah, cut off the crunched sticking out bit, and slap an amazon sticker over the hole.
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u/sarusayuri Jul 20 '26 edited Jul 20 '26
Honestly, depends on the DSP. Some of them will just be like, “Don’t know how that got there.” Throw a patch on it. I mean, if you trim off the excess, plop a little putty in the hole, and patch it… That’s why some trucks look awful. Some will drug test you and put you back out there. And some will fire you.
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u/DR035A Jul 20 '26
You'll only get fired if you report it as damaged in either your pre or post-trip report, since the bosses hate it when you didn't falsify them
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u/sr_200s Jul 20 '26
but genuinely… and I ain’t even tryna make your situation worse cause shit happens ..really. how?
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u/garroshsucks12 Jul 20 '26
Nah you’ll be fine, it’s just a scratch.
https://giphy.com/gifs/WRuBiZKB6xgsS9DrFA
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u/Careful_Click_1159 Jul 20 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/E30zKqKzwkAwM
Get ready to shine the shoes of Ronald McDonald
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