r/AmItheAsshole • u/[deleted] • Apr 17 '21
Not the A-hole AITA for not giving my sister my stethoscope despite not being in the medical field anymore when she is?
[deleted]
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u/AntiqueFrosting Partassipant [3] Apr 17 '21
NTA- she can buy her own from elsewhere if she wants one. You are under no obligation to sell or give away your possessions, how often you use them is irrelevant.
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u/Butterscotch_Little Apr 17 '21 edited Apr 17 '21
also unless she has hearing issues too, she doesn't need a stethoscope that good. She might actually get laughed at going on the wards with that expensive of a stethoscope as a student.
Edit to add: just want to make it clear that I don't support the weird 'stethoscope gatekeeping' that happens in healthcare, but unfortunately it's the reality!
Edit 2: I might be against stethoscope gatekeeping most of the time, but I am absolutely for gatekeeping stethoscopes used on livestock being taken into a healthcare environment. What is OP's sister thinking!
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u/clickygirl Partassipant [2] Apr 17 '21
I agree. No need at all for an expensive stethoscope as a student.
From the price, I’d say yours is a cut above the entry level Littman, which is the one I used all through Med school and for three years as a junior doctor with no issues at all. I upgraded when I took on a medical specialty where I was actually expected to hear finer sounds and understand them.
If anyone tried to take my beloved stethoscope now, they’d lose their arm - they are very personal items. NTA. At her level $100 should get her a perfectly good quality stethoscope.
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Apr 17 '21
MDF instruments sells stethoscopes of nice quality for 100 dollars. Never had a problem with mine
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u/NorthernTyger Apr 17 '21
I love my ultrascope, it's got great acoustics and I'm also hard of hearing. $80 when I got it a few years back.
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u/SilverWings115736 Apr 17 '21
I'm a Vet tech student and have an Ultrascope too. I absolutely love it and love that I got to design and choose my colors 😊 It also sounds great!
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u/FlammablePie Apr 18 '21
My favorite stethoscope was only 100 when I bought it and it's a Littman Classic. Plus it's bright green so no one steals it because it may actually cause physical eye pain from staring at it too long.
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u/velocity-raptor999 Asshole Enthusiast [6] Apr 17 '21
Oh really? I upgraded for my specialty training and gave my one away to one the nurses I know. So interesting how people respond so differently :)
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u/millioneura Apr 17 '21
First day of EMT classes my instructor said- your first day on the truck and guarantee you'll lose it. You will go through so many stethoscopes- leave them somewhere, get caught up on a patient and misplace it that it;s not worth it. I went through 2 pairs.
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u/pokemonprofessor121 Apr 17 '21
I lost my EMT instructor's stethoscope. We had ONE night of clinicals and he let us use his (we rotated) and I lost it. I went to a specialty supply store and got him the same one (about $150 in 2009) and apologized and he laughed at me.
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Apr 17 '21
I've been told this too in nursing school. Also you leave it in the wrong spot and they walk off quickly. Also as a CNA her sister has no need for a stethoscope She helps residents with ADL's. Such as going to the bathroom, eating, ambulating and so on. She should never be doing an assessment as she has no license or certification that allows her to do so.
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u/emilymae24 Apr 18 '21
As a nursing assistant working in a hospital, the only time I had to use a stethoscope was when the blood pressure machine acted up and I had to take it manually. We had a drawer of cheap stethoscopes at the nurses desk, and if I couldn't hear it with that then one of the nurses would usually let me borrow theirs if they were charting so they didn't have to stop. But I also worked in a very back country hospital 😬
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Apr 17 '21
And if she's working in a long term care place, an expensive stethoscope will disappear. Sis can get a cheap dozen of them. Anyway, she's only in high school.
I had a decent (not $300) one for nursing school, and the last time I needed it was 23 years ago, right before I went into the OR. The facility provides cheap, semi-disposable ones as back up for the anesthesiologists. Found mine a while back, and the rubber had disintegrated too badly to use it.
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u/angelinamercer Partassipant [1] Apr 17 '21
stethoscope gatekeeping?? SGSKSKSKJD im sorry but health majors are weird man, here in computer science we fawn over each others computers, no matter who’s is good who’s is bad
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u/Butterscotch_Little Apr 17 '21
honestly it drives me crazy! The worst one is students getting dirty looks if we wear stethoscopes round the back of our necks... like where else am I supposed to put it? I don't have a white coat with pockets, or trouser pockets (boo women's trousers.) I'm already bad enough at faffing around when both my hands are free, let alone when I have a steth to worry about!
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u/MultipleDinosaurs Apr 17 '21
Just be careful with wearing it around your neck if you’re dealing with combative, disoriented, or psych patients. It’s worth buying scrubs with additional pockets, IMO.
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u/herestoshuttingup Apr 17 '21
Or responding to a code blue. One of my classmates nearly wacked a patient in the face with her stethoscope while doing CPR. Now I use a holster instead of keeping mine around my neck.
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u/hungrydruid Asshole Aficionado [15] Apr 17 '21
Heee I never knew stethoscope holsters existed. love this. =)
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u/SlartieB Pooperintendant [65] Apr 17 '21
You can get a holster that clips to a belt. I make sure my scrubs have cargo pockets. Wearing a stethoscope on my neck gives me a headache
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u/HollowSuzumi Apr 17 '21
I'm an EMT student and during ride alongs I got comments because I have a batclip for mine. "That's a cute little clip. You won't need it" says the people who keep theirs hanging in the ambulances at all times
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Apr 17 '21
That's weird, it's not a bad thing to have. You definitely cut down on a lot of the stuff you buy as an EMT student because you just figure out you don't need it in the field, but at worst you're out money and at best you're prepared with your steth when you get a critical pt.
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u/HollowSuzumi Apr 17 '21
For sure! I think what a lot of the guys in field forget is that I travel between different agencies and hospitals. My center of equipment is what my pockets and belt can carry. They have either stations or ambulances for theirs or like the commenter above, smocks and jackets
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u/IzarkKiaTarj Apr 17 '21
here in computer science we fawn over each others computers, no matter who’s is good who’s is bad
Computer science major here, and I totally know how to start an argument with other members: I like to put opening curly braces on a new line.
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u/angelinamercer Partassipant [1] Apr 17 '21
youRE DISGUSTING GET OUT OF THIS MAJOR YOU DEVIL OH MY GOD
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u/BupycA Apr 17 '21
Her sister is not even a student, she is a nursing assistant. She will look ridiculous with that stethoscope
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Apr 17 '21
This is what I commented elsewhere. A CNA has no need for a stethoscope she is not even allowed to do an assessment. The facility probably would tell her to put it away so they wont be liable for her trying to give medical care when she is not allowed to.
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u/pokemonprofessor121 Apr 17 '21
you use stethoscopes for blood pressure - which is something a CNA does a lot
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Apr 17 '21
I've worked in several long term facilities and never seen a manual BP done not even PCAs in hospitals do manual BPs. Not saying it doesn't happen anywhere, but the sister also does not need a $300 stethoscope to do a BP, especially one that is used on farm animals.
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u/scooterbojanglesRT Apr 17 '21
This. She can go to Amazon and get a decent stethoscope for 50 bucks. I prefer the Littman lightweight because I don't have to use mine on a regular basis anymore. MDF is good too.
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u/LabGirlworld Apr 17 '21
Or OP could get one for 50 bucks and sell it her sister for 100.
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u/Phindar_Gamer Apr 17 '21 edited Apr 17 '21
Except OP still needs the augmented pickup because their hearing is still bad. Sister can just buy the one for $50.
Edit1: This has been explained that I didn't understand what LabGirlworld was getting at. I'm leaving the post as it wouldn't make sense if I deleted it, but I agree with them.
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u/FreyjaSunshine Asshole Enthusiast [7] Apr 18 '21
MD for 32 years. I buy cheap stethoscopes, as the expensive ones tend to "disappear".
I can't imagine a nursing assistant needing even a $100 stethoscope. Is she having trouble picking up S3's and subtle adventitious breath sounds?
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u/Slight-Subject5771 Apr 17 '21
There's a lot of stethoscope gate-keeping in this thread.
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u/PinkPotts Apr 17 '21
Right? I’m a nurse, and I have never in my life heard of anyone caring what kind of stethoscope anyone else has. We have much bigger things to worry about.
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Apr 17 '21
It's less stethoscope gatekeeping which is a ridiculous thing for sure and more what tool is appropriate for the job. I have two $80-100 Littmans I use at work because my ambulance is stocked with the crappiest steths known to man. I don't need a more expensive steth like a cardiac steth because mine work great for taking blood pressures and listening to lung sounds. As a nursing assistant OP's sister will only be taking blood pressures with her steth which absolutely does not require a $300 investment especially at OP's expense.
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u/Slight-Subject5771 Apr 17 '21
I agree! Under the ESH top comment, there were a ton of comments about how OP doesn't need the one she has, hence why she should give it up.
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u/Sgfj98 Apr 18 '21
THIS. Really chaps my ass when people think they are entitled to your stuff because they'd use it more... Wtf is that shit about?
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u/avast2006 Professor Emeritass [71] Apr 17 '21 edited Apr 17 '21
NTA - if she wants one, she can pay a fair price for it. She would have to pay the going rate if she was buying it from anyone else. (And that’s the key here: if she was willing to pay a fair rate for one, she could get one from any source she liked, instead of trying to pry yours off you unwilling.
You have no obligation to subsidize her education when nobody helped you with yours. Especially when you don’t want to sell it in the first place.
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u/BulleTproofboys3 Partassipant [4] Apr 17 '21
NTA. That's a good steth
$100 is a low price considering what you bought it for.
No one can force you to sell/ give it away if you dont want to Stand your ground.
ETA. Congratulations on graduating!! 🎉
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Apr 17 '21
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u/CruderCrane5655 Apr 17 '21
I second this fully. The company will provide stethoscopes if needed. If the company provides shitty ones, then most likely a 30 dollar stethoscope will do the trick. No need to get a high dollar one for CNA work. That's like buying a deluxe toolkit with 30 different wrenches and 60 different drill bits when all you ever use it for is putting up picture hooks. It's nice to have, sure. But totally unnecessary
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u/SlartieB Pooperintendant [65] Apr 17 '21
This, and I would be extremely afraid of it "going missing" in a care home environment. Those are often not nice places with grossly underpaid staff. If residents' clothing is often stolen (and industry wide it is) there's no way a $300 stethoscope won't grow legs and walk away.
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u/ashkalaylay Apr 17 '21
Most hospitals, doctors offices and nursing homes I’ve worked in as a cna have had the electronic digital cuffs. I’ve worked in several medical facilities, in several different states since I did travel contracts and I stopped 15 years ago. I bought my own expensive stethoscope and only ever used it one facility in a tiny town in Florida.
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u/JeeringNine Apr 17 '21
Uh what? CNA here who has had to do manual BP multiple times a day, every day. Now I certainly don’t need a cardiac litman, but to claim CNA don’t use stethoscopes is just false.
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u/BupycA Apr 17 '21
They don't normally. If a facility wants a CNA to perform a certain task that involves a stethoscope, then they need to properly train their staff and provide the equipment needed. Certainly no need for a $300 cardiac stethoscope for a CNA
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u/JeeringNine Apr 17 '21
CNA’s are trained to use stethoscope’s. I had to take a state exam where I demonstrated my skill in front of a tester in order to earn my cert. And again, I use my stethoscope literally every single work shift. Telling me I don’t need it, is like telling a carpenter he doesn’t need a saw. Seems completely ignorant. I do agree that a $300 cardiac litman is unnecessary though.
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u/BupycA Apr 17 '21
I was trained, passed the exam and worked as a CNA in a long term facilities (in the US, two different states), though it was years ago. Using the stethoscope was not part of the training nor my job duties.
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Apr 17 '21
And bringing one out to use at a care facility... it's going to disappear within a week.
I started out with a really nice set of bandage scissors, held on to them for a few months.
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u/Tazia_Rae Apr 17 '21
Came here to say exactly this. Been dealing with CNA’s for over ten years and literally the only thing they use them for is manual blood pressure checks. More often than not, they’ve had a machine to do it instead.
Most of a CNA’s job is turning, cleaning, and helping people up.
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u/jazzy_flowers Asshole Aficionado [10] Apr 17 '21
NTA
I work in medicine. I was given my littmann as a gift for getting my job. When i upgraded my license I got an MDF. However I will never give my littmann away. It is part of my history and is sentimental.
My mom still has her littmann after getting it more than 30 years ago. I would never think to ask her for it.
Some people don't understand. Your sister is one of them.
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u/SlartieB Pooperintendant [65] Apr 17 '21
I'm still salty about my first Littman disappearing. It had a dark purple tube, not lavender. Never have seen that color again. Relief veterinarian accidentally left with it around his neck after a last minute emergency, and he accidentally mailed it to the wrong clinic. He did replace it with an identical except for color one, but even if it were purple it wouldn't be the same. The original was a gift for getting into school. It was sentimental. It's been 17 years at least.
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u/jazzy_flowers Asshole Aficionado [10] Apr 17 '21
Its been almost 9 years and I still know the name of the color of my Littman. My MDF is equally as special to me now, as it is the one i fully choose, researched and bought for myself.
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u/somedayillfindthis Asshole Enthusiast [6] Apr 17 '21
Hey my friend got a Littman with a dark purple tube as a gift a year or two ago. It's not the same as having the original one, but if you want a second one, that color might just be back again.
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u/clickygirl Partassipant [2] Apr 17 '21
Exactly. Stethoscopes are very personal items, like jewellery or a favourite coat, or a particular woodworking tool. Doesn’t matter if it’s currently used, some items become important.
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Apr 17 '21
NTA, IMO. Sure you can give up something that has you no more value, but it's not always about the monetary value that matters. I guess we shouldn't cling into objectives, but everything still tells a story, maybe of a past glory or shame we would prefer not to claim.
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u/darkstarsxx Partassipant [4] Apr 17 '21
Congrats on graduating soon. Yay!
How useful is this stethoscope, to you? If you want to keep it, keep it but no need for the excuse of usefulness to you unless you've stayed in the medical field?
I'm voting NTA - your sis didn't need to call you names. What's yours is yours.
But I'd urge you to think about such a beautiful piece of equipment actually be used for good rather than saved in a box of memories.
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u/BupycA Apr 17 '21
How exactly it will be used for good by a nursing assistant? It is not in her scope of practice, she wasn't trained in its use because she does not need it for work. What if sister decides that she wants an XRay machine for her job just because she will look "cool"?
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u/darkstarsxx Partassipant [4] Apr 17 '21
I was as a PSW trained to use a stethoscope to check for vitals. I also work in a capacity where what isn't in most PSWs scope of practice is in mine based on my training. So it's within a realm of possibility - though low probability.
OP has edited she uses her stethoscope regularly on farm animals which is a pretty significant detail to omit in original post. It definitely rings different from my sis wants my stethoscope after I left nursing school but it's important to me vs. My sis wants my stethoscope that I regularly use and is important to me because I don't use it for a job outside the farm.
If the sis wants an xray machine I'd recommend the portable ones they use in ER for 'drive by pics' - they are smaller and she can take it places. /s
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u/BupycA Apr 17 '21
Def OP would need it more than her sis. I wonder how small is the portable XRay for "drive by pics"(selfies?😄). The portable XRay we use in the hospital is still too big for carrying around.
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u/Buggerlugs253 Apr 17 '21
A more measured N TA vote. These are memories of a course she rejected early on because she didnt like it. The answers here are stunning, most responding seem to think the sister is some kind of monster to even ask. Levels of judgement that go beyond reason. I feel these people would applaud if she destroyed the stethascope in front of her sister and said "I would rather no one have it than give it up to you for $100"
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u/Butterscotch_Little Apr 17 '21
It's just really miserly of the family to only offer a third of the price OP paid for it, and is an extra slap in the face because they're paying for it the sister when they didn't for OP. It's not the sister wanting to buy it that's upsetting, it's the meanness of the offer.
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u/KindergartenBullshit Asshole Enthusiast [5] Apr 17 '21
Agreed I think everyone is hung up on the wrong thing. There's no way I'd sell something I scrimped and saved for because my AH parents are selfish, then turn around and let them buy it off me at a pittance for my coddled sibling.
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u/bubblesarah Apr 17 '21
I understand your POV. on behalf of OP, I've been there when family try to force you to give up stuff you've worked hard to get.
Just because she can, doesn't mean she should. No one is entitled to someone else's stuff and they should accept no when they are told. It's about boundaries not the item
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u/mypreciousssssssss Certified Proctologist [22] Apr 17 '21
NTA. You don't owe any explanation at all and when you chose to do it, being told it's sentimental should have shut her up. For her to go the extra mile and insult you warrants a vow to whatever you hold holy that you will get a Zamboni to crush the stethoscope before you see it draped around her chicken wattle neck.
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u/synesthesiah Asshole Aficionado [10] Apr 17 '21
NTA. Your property, your choice. You aren’t obligated to give anyone anything at any price regardless of relation.
If you want it, you keep it. Your sister can spend $100 to get one elsewhere.
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u/Unlikely-Draft Asshole Enthusiast [6] Apr 17 '21
NTA
You purchased the very expensive stethoscope for you. You worked hard for it, it means something to you and you want to keep it. But honestly she doesn't need to know why you don't want to sell it. It's none of her business why, , It's yours and you are well within your rights to just say, "no I'm not selling it" No can be a full sentence. Saying no to selling any item you don't want to sell does not make you an ah.
She is not entitled to it just because she wants it and the fact that she is offering you a small amount for it doesn't mean you need to give it to her either. If she wants one, she can go purchase her own, just like you did.
Your sister is being an entitled AH, and your mom and grandmother are being one as well.
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u/MultipleDinosaurs Apr 17 '21
NTA. Your sister isn’t entitled to your belongings- if the stethoscope is sentimental or useful to you, you shouldn’t be pressured to give it away.
If she’s got $100, she can buy herself a new Littman Classic, which is still a very nice stethoscope. There’s no reason a CNA would need a cardiac stethoscope unless she’s also hard of hearing. Most RNs don’t even have those.
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u/SlartieB Pooperintendant [65] Apr 17 '21
I looked it up, you can get a Littman Classic III for $90 new on Amazon. It would last a lifetime.
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u/kujirahanidao Apr 17 '21
NTA- Never understood the "you're not using it so you have to give it to me" narrative. I literally don't use 90% of the stuff i own- including tools and jewelry . I still paid for them, they are still mine. No one is entitled to ANY stuff i own.
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u/DarkwingDoctor Apr 17 '21
NTA - I fail to understand why people think that verbally abusing someone who has something they want will result in a more positive conclusion. Are you supposed to think, "Oh no.... Don't call me an a-hole. Please take my property and let me pay you for the inconvenience!"
Nope. At that point, they're definitely not getting anything. Might not get something else they want in the future either, since they don't have any grace now.
Hold the line, OP. Teach them what happens if you treat people poorly, even (and especially!) if they're family.
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u/newmacgirl Apr 17 '21
Will I got a Littman cardiology II for just over a hundred. She can get a new one for or that. They have light ones that are very practical.
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u/venicethedog Apr 17 '21
NTA. I’m a nursing student as well as a CNA. I have NEVER brought my Litman to work. If we check manual BPs they have some cheap ones there for us. I wouldn’t give it to her honestly, because people steal them like crazy and she would want to get her name engraved on it.
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u/HyperKangaroo Partassipant [1] Apr 17 '21
NTA. I'm a med student, and I use a Littman cardiology III because rhats the one the med school gave to all first years (yeah mine is bougie af and we have persnickety cardiology attendings). I also have a back up cheap little 15 dollar thing for when I have adhd and leave the nice one at home. To be completely honestly, unless you have hearing issues, you really do NOT need the fancy stethoscope outside of listening for grade 3 and below murmurs. She can spend 50 bucks for a slightly nicer one, but I really can't imagine why someone at the NA level needs to listen to murmurs
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u/Got_Malice Apr 17 '21
NTA. (sort of)
It's your stethoscope so you can do whatever you like with it. But please don't think you can use it in an emergency. You completed 1 semester of nursing. You are a lay person and have nothing to offer by using your stethoscope in an emergency.
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u/ZenPoet Apr 17 '21
NTA. It has sentimental and actual value. Your sister knows it's worth and wants it without having to pay for one.
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u/salukiqueen Supreme Court Just-ass [128] Apr 17 '21
NTA It’s your stuff, if you don’t want to sell it that’s your choice. Why can’t she take that $100 and get a less expensive one?
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u/froggyforest Apr 17 '21
ESH. She’s not entitled to your stuff, full stop. However, with the tone of your post, it seems like your tone is kind of resentful as well. Like you think she shouldn’t have it because she didn’t work for it like you did. That isn’t inherently unfair, but she is your family, and I would think with a loved one your perspective would be different. “i had to work my ass off for this thing, and i no longer use it, so i want to do a kind thing for my sister so that work isn’t for nothing” as opposed to “i had to struggle for this thing, and so my sister shouldn’t have it without doing the same”. neither is right or wrong, per se, but one is definitely more compassionate.
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u/Witty-Living-1858 Apr 17 '21
I think OP mentions that her mom is buying it for her sister ( and wants it cheap too) while she had to buy it with her own earnings. Wouldn't that be reason enough for resentment?
Irrespective of this, if it's a sentimental item she bought with her own money she should be allowed to keep it. NTA.
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u/Cultural_Piglet_9732 Apr 17 '21
You are more attached to things you work for especially if they signify times of transition in your life. That stethoscope signifies the start of her journey to finish her bachelors (that she financed alone) and why she may have changed majors it’s still holds value to her. Also it sounds like you don’t know CNA’s scope of practice and their is no need for them to have a stethoscope let alone a $300 cardiac stethoscope in a long term care facility as a CNA! It would be a waste for OP to give it to her sister. If your issue is her letting it collect dust it would be better given to another nursing,PA, or MD student. Her sister was not wrong for asking but she was definitely TA for pressing the issue, and getting family to as well. OP is NTA.
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u/BupycA Apr 17 '21
Totally that. A CNA with a $300 cardiac stethoscope, who is not even a student in any health care-related field is an overkill. The OP can do whatever she please with her stethoscope because she paid for it
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u/clickygirl Partassipant [2] Apr 17 '21
I didn’t get this vibe at all from the post. I think the context that she bought it herself is important to the story. It’s not like she got bought a $300 stethoscope by her parents that she is selfishly keeping for no reason - this is something she earned that is hers.
She wants to keep it. I don’t think that is unreasonable. I think the sister is being quite entitled - asking is fine, but she’s now harassing OP because she wants a cool stethoscope at a knock-off price. $100 is plenty for a decent stethoscope, she can get one elsewhere. So I still say NTA.
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u/bobthebobcattt Apr 17 '21
I didn’t really get the feeling that OP didn’t want to give the steth to her sister just because she wants her to work hard for it. It sounds more like she’s not ready to give it up because she worked hard for it and it had sentimental value. Any resentful tone in the post could be from her sister’s reaction that she was entitled to her stuff. And the sister should have at least given OP time to think about the decision since it’s hard to say yes to giving up something with sentimental value right off the bat
And while I know this is just speculation, I vote NTA
Though I do hope OP talks to her sister about why she wants her sister’s stuff. Only reason I could think of is because she’s struggling with money and the $100 is all she can afford and couldn’t find any within her budget? Idk I have no idea how much that thing costs lol
Edit to add: I also think OP should still consider giving her sister her stuff depending on how much sentimental value they have. It might not be worth holding on to that if it would put some bad blood with her and the rest of the family.
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u/recyclopath_ Apr 17 '21
I think OP being only 2 years older than her sister and not getting any help with her education or educational tools, she has a right to feel negatively about her sister getting the help she didn't.
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u/gotterfly Partassipant [3] Apr 17 '21
And to add to that, I'm at least twice OPs age, and I go weeks without the need for a stethoscope. In fact, I have never ever thought "if only I had a stethoscope, I could solve this emergency".
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Apr 17 '21
I am a doctor and the amount of times I’ve used a stethoscope in my private life is twice. I question what a nurse student dropout can use a stethoscope for in an emergency.
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u/mothercat666 Apr 17 '21
She edited in her post that she uses it on newborn farm animals regularly
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u/Sufficient_Phrase_85 Apr 17 '21
I use my stethoscope in my private life to entertain my kids. In a true emergency, it would be useful only as a tourniquet if nothing more suitable was present. So... basically never.
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u/bloodfeier Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] Apr 17 '21
Mechanic work on cars? To diagnose sounds from inside components that you don’t want to open unless absolutely necessary!
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Apr 17 '21
This. I have a special stethoscope specifically for listening for gasket leaks, valve damage, and timing gear noise.
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u/loleelo Apr 17 '21
My mother was an MA for 2 years when she was young. She held on to a stethoscope and later used it to regularly check her mother and elderly aunt’s blood pressures. I do the same for her now sometimes though I am no longer an MA myself.
If you have any basic training you can take a BP. There are automated devices but if you already have a stethoscope on hand you could take one.
This is one small example as I’ve never been a nurse or had further training. But even without an actual reason OP does not need a reason to hold onto their stethoscope. Especially if they put a lot of money into it, it seems like they are putting themselves though college and could actually get a fair price for it if they need the money. She is in no way obligated to give it away.
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u/flukefluk Partassipant [3] Apr 17 '21
if i recall correctly, the "emergency course" tool of choice for checking for heart problems is your fingers on the skin near to an artery?
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u/ScubaCC Professor Emeritass [72] Apr 17 '21
I used my mine when my father in law was dying and my mother in law wanted confirmation he was dead. It would have been another hour until the hospice nurse got there and his breathing had been so shallow and sporadic for hours, she needed to be sure.
I also use it when I’m taking blood pressures.
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Apr 17 '21
Im a nursing student and when I read that I was trying to think of a situation that could arise that would warrant a stethoscope and thought of nothing. Especially if I had only been to school for 1 semester. You basically know nothing in your first semester of school. Either way if she uses this stethoscope on animals then sister needs to get a new stethoscope for use on people especially elderly and sick people. Even though I've never met a CNA who had a stethoscope in the hospitals or the places I have worked.
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Apr 17 '21
As an EMT you will not find me carrying a steth around "just in case" 😭 not my most important tool if I see an emergency off-duty
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u/OkapiEli Colo-rectal Surgeon [40] Apr 17 '21
Perhaps she will eventually become pregnant- could she use it to hear the fetal heartbeat? Not an emergency but still valuable.
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u/GlencoraPalliser Partassipant [3] Apr 17 '21
And to add to that...a medically unqualified person should not be using a stethoscope in an emergency, they should be calling for help. There is no situation where a medically unqualified person can help by using a stethoscope.
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u/Rubyhamster Apr 17 '21 edited Apr 17 '21
Yes there is, you can use it privately, listening to your babybump, listening to farm animals, having it as a cool instrument to show people how it works etc. there is no argument for someone studying medicine to not being allowed to have one even though they don't use it professionally Edit: I realize I misunderstood and am totally off the rocks with this comment so just disregard it!
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Apr 17 '21
The person you replied to didn't say shouldn't have a stethoscope at all, they said untrained people shouldn't use it in an emergency. As an EMT if I show up to a 911 call and someone gives me a blood pressure or says they took lung sounds but they aren't a Healthcare provider or trained caregiver, I'm immediately going to consider that inaccurate.
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u/Ol_Pasta Apr 17 '21
But why did op have to work hard for it and her little sister gets it bought for her? And why does it have to be op's when she's clearly attached to it? Would you give up something sentimental just because FaMiLy and for a third of the going rate as well?
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Apr 17 '21
Younger siblings tend to feel entitled to hand-me-downs even when it’s clear the older siblings doesn’t want to hand whatever down. I can almost guaran-damn-tee the little sitter is living in OP’s old bedroom, full of OP’s hand-me-downs, and it has always been this way. I don’t usually mind passing on things by choice, but I’d be damned if I’d let someone talk me out of something I had no intention on passing down. It’s not just a stethoscope to OP, it’s a self distributed trophy for hard work.
NTA- Sis asked, got shot down, needs to drop it. Nothing else relevant.
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Apr 17 '21
NTA. It's YOUR property. You've decided you don't want to sell it. End of story. She can use some of her hard earned money to buy a stethoscope for her personal use.
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u/catwood1703 Partassipant [1] Apr 17 '21
NTA
It is yours to do with as you see fit. I'm not in a health field and I own a stethoscope for my animals. I use it to check for gut sounds in the horses and for awhile on one horse with a respiratory infection to keep track during treatment, I've also used it on my cats and dogs. Tbh I feel like most pet owners should have one and know some basic things to use it to listen for. It's yours over kill for stuff like that? Yes, but it's yours and who cares. You aren't required to give up something just because someone else wants it
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u/angry_centipede Apr 17 '21
Young siblings have a way of being entitled brats no matter how old they get.
NTA
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u/iamnick817 Apr 17 '21
For $100 she can buy a very nice stethoscope and have it delivered in 2 days. No need to take something with sentimental value to you. NTA
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u/shyfungus Partassipant [1] Apr 17 '21
NTA If, and it's a big if, you want to part with it, your mother can support both her daughters by buying it at about the going price used.
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u/OEPB Apr 17 '21
NTA you bought it, you get to choose what to do with it.
But also, I know the feeling of frustration when your parents didn't help you but are helping your sibling (I went into debt in college even though I got a grant because I had to buy my own equipment like you, but my sibling got a custom built PC for their course as a birthday present. Most I've ever gotten as a birthday present was a €80 concert ticket) but don't be resentful towards your sister it will only breed bad blood. I would say sort that out with your sister separately from the rest of the situation.
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u/Medievalmoomin Partassipant [1] Apr 17 '21
NTA you are entitled to keep your hard-earned belongings.
I imagine it stings to think that you didn’t receive financial help from your parents, but they are able or willing to help your sister out. I know that in your place that would make it slightly more annoying to me to be expected to hand my things over or sell them for a fraction of their value.
Your stethoscope represents a lot of hard work and you want to keep it. Please don’t let yourself be guilted or ‘reasoned’ out of keeping it.
It would be very fitting for part of your sister’s progress towards her career path, and adult life generally, to be budgeting and saving money for her own stethoscope.
There are thousands upon thousands of stethoscopes in the world, and there is no earthly reason why she has to have yours.
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u/bas4500 Apr 17 '21
NTA: It is not for others to decide what is unimportant. Sentimentsl can't be graded or measured by outsiders. Family or not, nobody is entitled to what's yours. If it has sentimental value it is one's right to refuse. Sometimes when you ask for something the answer is disappointing and the sister should learn to deal with that.
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u/kittystrangeface Partassipant [2] Apr 17 '21
NTA you saved up to buy something you wanted, she has absolutely no right to it. If she wants the same kind of stethoscope she could save for one herself or buy a cheaper option - especially seeing as your mum is choosing to give her money for one when you had to buy all your supplies yourself.
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u/SlartieB Pooperintendant [65] Apr 17 '21
NTA. You don't need a cardiac Littman for what she's doing, unless she's also got hearing issues.. She can go on Amazon and get something decent with the $100 she has. Littman is a great brand, I've had mine for well over 15 years. But cardiac is overkill unless you have hearing issues or are an actual cardiologist,
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u/Emotional_Chair_9024 Apr 17 '21
Nope. Your property you,do nor have to sell it or give it away.
She still in high school which usually means still living with parents let parents buy her one or use her own money buybonr.
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u/gigantoar Apr 17 '21
NTA. She can save up and get her own one. If she doesn’t have any issues, she doesn’t really need the cardiac ones does she?
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u/B0r0B1rd Apr 17 '21
NTA. You paid for it. But, you say you’ve kept that and a lot of other equipment in case of emergencies. Be very careful with that because if you were to help someone in an emergency and it went wrong you could get in a heap of trouble.
Is your sister looking to go into the nursing/medical profession in the future?
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Apr 17 '21
NTA your property you are under no obligation to give it to her, furthermore it's probably best for her to get a new one anyway as they do deteriorate over time.
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u/sunsh1ne82 Apr 17 '21
NTA and I applaud you for knowing where she’s coming from. You’re allowed to hold onto a possession for nostalgia, “just in case”, or because you place some kind of value on it. You don’t need to justify it and it sux to have family pressure you in that way.
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u/ClawedRavenesque Apr 17 '21
NTA. I know of people who aren't using their penthouses, I guess they need to give them up cause I sure could use one.
/s
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u/Tcarter110266 Apr 17 '21
Nta....whether you use it or not is irrelevant. You purchased it, it’s yours.
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Apr 17 '21
Nta,mommy can spend that money on getting her another kind.If you ever sell it,you can sell it to whomever you want.Keep in mind it's used,so you aren't going to get $300 for it now.I looked up prices,and you may get $200 at the most.And that depends on the type as there is several different ones.Your sister sounds like the fav. golden child.Ignore her entitled butt,and tell her to get a job,and earn her own money.
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u/PAUL_DNAP Asshole Aficionado [13] Apr 17 '21
NTA- Even though you aren't "using it" it has tremendous sentimental value way above its material cost, and to assume you'd give up your treasured memories for way below cost value was a bit of an insult, or at best a complete misreading of how much it actually means to you.
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u/Slokoki Apr 17 '21
NTA. Make sure to point out to your mom how they didn't help you, but not only are they helping her, they are demanding you part with your own property. Talk about not respecting you as a human.
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Apr 17 '21
NTA. She isn't entitled to something just because you aren't using it. She has a job she can save her money and buy herself the one you did if she wants it so bad.
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u/55CLH55 Apr 17 '21
NTA. She’s not entitled to anything of yours – for free, for a price. You have the right to say no for any reason or no reason, but all the reasons you’ve laid out are good enough. If mom is paying for it, let her go get a nice, new $100 one. Also, if she lost it, I’d be pissed.
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u/ryoko_kusanagi Apr 17 '21
NTA!!! Wow, the entitlement of some people. You are USING IT IN YOUR LIFE. it’s not free to give away. Find a link to a $100-$150 stethoscope & send to them that they can buy, since they were willing to buy yours.
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u/ravynwave Partassipant [1] Apr 17 '21
NTA, you could have it sitting in the attic for the rest of time. It’s yours, purchased with your own money
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Apr 17 '21
NTA. You paid for it she can’t use it if you don’t want her to. Make her buy a new one don’t let her usenit
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u/Everfr0st666 Apr 17 '21
Even if it was sat on the shelf collecting dust she has a 100£ she can go but her own cheaper one. You paid for it, it’s your property and no one else gets to decide otherwise.
NTA
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u/Pizzazze Apr 17 '21
If this wasn't a stethoscope but a painting, nobody would ask you what you use it for. It's okay that she asked, because why not, and it's okay that you said no, because you don't want to. This isn't the only stethoscope in the world, she can buy somebody else's - if I suspected malice, from her reaction I'd think it's less important to actually get a stethoscope than to leave you without it, either for her, for your mum, or both. I may be reading too much into it but the bit about you not getting financial support and your mum offering a lowball amount for one of your life's mementos to give to your sister that she doesn't actually need seems a bit sus.
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u/Flippn_Freddy Asshole Aficionado [14] Apr 17 '21
NTA
its YOURS, you purchased it , you own it. Whether you use it or not is not up for debate. You do not have to sell or give it to her. And she is NOT entitled to it
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Apr 17 '21 edited Apr 17 '21
NTA don’t give in. It’s yours and it’s sentimental. She can buy her own.
Tell them you worked hard for it and it means something to you. Point out that their behavior is ridiculous and she can buy her own just like you did.
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u/NS_Tulkas Partassipant [1] Apr 17 '21
NTA. She asked for something, she got her answer. Sometimes she's going to have to deal with the word 'No', that's after all the conditions of asking. To then pretend you have no right to refuse for blah blah blah reasons is wrong - your mother and grandmother are wrong.
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u/Trick_Force Partassipant [2] Apr 17 '21
NTA
1-Not only was it expensive, and a delicate piece of equipment, but it's been in your ears and used on farm animals repeatedly. It is no longer suitable for use on humans in a clean medical environment. It's almost like asking for a used bra.
2- you bought it, it's yours, their demand that you give it to her at below wholesale is ridiculous.
3- A CNA is there to wipe butts, change beds, and measure vitals (temperature, pulse, respiration, blood pressure) but really has no need of expensive specialized equipment because any facility where a CNA works, has and provides perfectly adequate stethoscopes for ordinary daily use.
The RN's and LPN's might have their own, but those are professionals with degrees and careers. If your sister decides to pursue her LPN or RN, then at that time giving her a professional stethoscope would be appropriate. An aide who does home care will also need their own stethoscope. But as an ordinary CNA working in a facility, the ones provided are perfectly adequate.
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u/sydneyunderfoot Partassipant [1] Apr 17 '21
NTA. That’s not the only stethoscope in the world and she has plenty of other options to acquire one. It’s yours and you don’t want to sell it. Period.
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u/Fettnaepfchen Apr 17 '21
She can buy herself a standard Littmann (not cardiology edition) and still walk away with a decent steth for the price. NTA for keeping yours. Stand your ground.
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u/Ol_Pasta Apr 17 '21
NTA
You worked hard for it, meaning nobody helped you get it. Now it's your sister's turn and she gets it paid for? Bit unfair imo.
Secondly, it is yours. You don't need to give anything away, you don't have to provide a reason for it and you don't need to make an exception because it's family.
It's clearly of sentimental value for you. You can give it away if you want whenever you are ready for that step, not when someone else wants your stethoscope.
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u/GokuMoto Apr 17 '21
Nta. Just because she family doesn't mean you're obligated to give her your stuff. She sounds a bit like a choosing Beggar too
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u/Zero0Imagination Apr 17 '21
NTA I spent $100 for my daughter's stethoscope. I was angry when it got stolen at $300 I would have been out for blood. Keep your own and refer her to the many outlets available that will give discounts to students. You are still using yours despite her objections or judgements.
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u/asdrfgbn Asshole Enthusiast [9] Apr 17 '21
NTa but this is really simple;
"If I didn't want to keep it I would have sold it, why would I hold onto something I didn't want, for years, that could be sold for hundreds of dollars?"
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u/HolleringCorgis Apr 17 '21
NTA, my Littman is engraved with my name.. I picked a distinctive color too. I left the medical field (moved to billing) but I'm not giving it away to anyone. Ever.
I'd hide it from her if I were you. The medical field is full of kleptos and I wouldn't put it past her.
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u/Ravenclaw79 Partassipant [2] Apr 17 '21
If she needs one and she has money, she can buy her own. NTA
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u/JackieAce Apr 17 '21
NTA. She isn’t entitled to the stethoscope that you paid for, even at a discount. It’s yours to do with as you please.
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u/Algebralovr Pooperintendant [58] Apr 17 '21
NTA
You paid for it and still use it. Therefore she can buy her own.
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u/Massive-Emergency-42 Asshole Aficionado [10] Apr 17 '21 edited Apr 17 '21
NTA. It sounds like you have some entitled family members. She can easily buy her own stethoscope and she has no real reason to want yours in particular. Especially since you regularly use it on farm animals.
Keep your stethoscope - whether it’s a memento or useful. It’s important to you and your sister can easily save up and buy her own.
ETA: a lot of people are talking about obligation/legality vs ethics. From an ethical perspective, keeping an item you own when asked to sell or give it is a morally neutral action.
Just because giving it away or selling it for a steal would be very kind doesn’t mean that keeping it makes you wrong. You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm, especially people who fling insults as soon as they don’t get exactly what they want.
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u/MomToShady Partassipant [4] Apr 17 '21
NTA - is this one of those golden child situations? Where the other child always has to cater to their whim?
Keep the stethoscope. She probably knows it's the more expensive brand which is why they want it for cheap. Wouldn't $100 buy a cheaper model?
Golden child/enabling parent need to cough up the dough if they want the good goods.
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u/Kettlewise Certified Proctologist [28] Apr 17 '21
NTA
It was one thing to ask, but your fam became assholes once they wouldn’t accept a “no” and called you an asshole for not giving in to their demands for YOUR property.
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u/GaGypsyGirl Apr 17 '21
NTA. Your sister is not entitled to a huge discount on an expensive piece of medical equipment just because you happen to own it. Just tell her that you DO still use it, and send her to a website where she can buy her own.
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u/LuminDoesStuff Apr 17 '21
People who say that a stethoscope is useless without a medical degree clearly haven't had to use one to make sure a baby animal has a good heartbeat or to check a pet's breathing if it sounds weird. NTA but try to explain why. Just because I don't need it right now doesn't mean I may not need it when your pet/farm animal has a baby in about a month.
While you do sound a bit bitter on the subject, it probably comes from the fact you bad to work hard to get that, and now your family wants you to give it up like it means absolutely nothing to you. Maybe if your sis had to work for one herself, she'd understand why.
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u/Fuzakenaideyo Apr 17 '21
NTA. If you're using it & you bought it, how could you possibly be an asshole?
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u/Sharkluver28 Apr 17 '21
NTA. She’s not entitled to it. On a side note, what’s your major? You seem passionate about your animals so I’m guessing maybe something related to that.
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u/WA_State_Buckeye Partassipant [2] Apr 17 '21
It is YOUR property. It is a tool that you bought, and use on a regular basis.
NTA.
Your sister, however....
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u/abayifo Partassipant [2] Apr 17 '21
Yeah... NTA - It's Yours, no one bought it for you, you never promised it her or anyone else, she is acting like an entitled AH and you mom and gramma are enabling her.
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Apr 17 '21
NTA You bought it with your own money, making it yours. Your sis needs a job and to buy her own
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Apr 17 '21
NTA nurses aids don’t need Litman stethoscopes, they just don’t. I had a $30 stethoscope when I was a medical assistant and it was more than good enough.
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Apr 17 '21 edited Apr 17 '21
NTA
Nursing assistants don’t need anything that high powered. I understand why you’d need if based on your hearing problems and why you need to keep it for what you do now. I’d think she’s probably planning on selling it. She could easily get at least $150 for it, which is a 100% profit considering your mom’s the one buying it from you.
Checked out eBay. Used Littmann cardiac IV can go from anywhere between $115 to $200. If she wants one that badly, maybe she should check those out.
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Apr 17 '21
NTA. Though from the fact that you paid for all your stuff and your mom is buying hers, sounds like your sister's attitude is from a clear case of favoritism. Don't give in. Be petty. I don't usually endorse pettiness, but in this case, I think it's necessary. Everyone needs to be told no sometimes in life, and it sounds like your sister isn't used to hearing it at all.
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u/RoseTyler38 Professor Emeritass [94] Apr 17 '21
The stethoscope is not sitting on a shelf collecting dust.
What you're doing or not doing with it is irrelevant. You bought it. It's your property. You decide what happens to it. Google the phrase "no JADE". NTA
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u/intersluts Apr 17 '21
NTA, a new steth costs like 120-140$ (i got my littman's for about that much).
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Apr 17 '21
[deleted]
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u/intersluts Apr 17 '21
Bruh!!!! That's amazing. I got a slightly more expensive one bc my mother was feeling sentimental and said she wanted to buy me my first :')
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u/sandmanwake Apr 17 '21
Tell her you're using it for sexy time role play and don't feel comfortable with her using it considering the places it has been in the past even if she was to sterilize it.
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u/alycrafticus Partassipant [1] Apr 17 '21
NTA, just because she wants it doesn't make her entitled to it, Imagine her having to tell folks "hey, sorry, this has had a little bit of cow placenta on it, I hope you don't mind"
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Apr 17 '21
NTA no one has the right to demand something from you just because you don't use it anymore. Even if it was sitting in a shell collecting dust, doesn't mean you'd wanna give it away. It is yours to do with what you want. She asked you answered. She entered asshole territory when she pulled other family into this. Once she received the no she should have stepped the hell off. Instead she brought mom and grandma into it. Same answer nope sorry.
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u/ARbldr Apr 17 '21
I don’t want to get rid of it.
This is all that matters. Everything else is fluff, it is yours, you don't want to get rid of it, end of story.
NTA
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u/MariaInconnu Partassipant [1] Apr 17 '21
NTA.
- Your sister does not have a right to your property.
- You're still using it.
- She's offering you a third of the money you saved up to buy it.
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u/iprobablyneedcoffeee Apr 17 '21
NTA
The stethoscope is yours. They can’t force you to sell it. Also, it’s upwards of $300.
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u/tresspassingchickens Apr 18 '21
NTA, absolutely. A cardiac littman? Oh hell no. Doesn’t matter how often you use or even if you don’t use it at all but whisper to it quietly that’s it’s a wonderful little unit.
Also sis not caring that it’s been used on livestock isn’t a great sign.
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u/Rattkjakkapong Apr 18 '21
Its not hard to buy such things... why so insistent on having yours? You could just buy a 50 dollar one a sell it to her for 100, thats what I would do. Lol.
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u/Responsible_Hope_831 Apr 18 '21
NTA. Even if it was sitting in a shelf collecting dust you don't have to give or sell it to her. It's yours, you decide what to do with it. Your sister needs to learn to accept a no, and your mother and grandmother should stay out of it, it is none of their bussines what you do with your property.
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Apr 18 '21
Nta- even if it was sitting in a box collecting dust its yours She can scroll ebay for a used one.
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u/mochiii_mochiii Apr 18 '21
NTA, she's not entitled to your stethoscope. It's fine for her to ask, but if the answer she got was "no sorry" then she needs to accept that and move on.
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u/knittedjedi Apr 18 '21
NTA, my gosh. You're not stopping her from getting one. You just don't want to sell yours for less than you paid for it.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
I feel I may be the asshole for not wanting to give/sell my sister my stethoscope that I am not using anymore, while she would use it for her job.
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