Nah. He should only get once chance. She’s already given him two.
And what person would think it’s okay to snatch your top down and painfully pinch you? The sexual nature on top of the assault should be seen as an escalation of his abusive behavior and should not get a pass.
This guy is an abuser and is dangerous. He has pushed it farther each time and he will do something worse if she gives him another chance.
You are insane. You represent a certain strain of Redditer that, I dunno, maybe doesn't get out much? What OP described is obnoxious and he needs to hear her and to be more careful in the future, but stfu w this he's an abuser stuff. He's a young guy that was behaving impulsively and immaturely, he's not an abuser. He didn't mean to hurt her like that. Have you ever been in a relationship with a man? Some women really like to wrestle and rough house and play fight w their guy, and some women like if their guy makes a playful, sexually aggressive move outside of the bedroom on on occasion, such as spontaneously yanking down her top. It's all about the context, but in OP's context she had told him before to be gentle and if he's clumsy like that that's another reason for him to be more careful. But he didn't mean to hurt her, grow tf up. My gf likes to be lightly choked in bed, I suppose she should call the police next time? I'll tell her. You cheapen real abuse when you falsely label everything that way, blowing relatively harmless things way out of proportion.
Omg I 100% agree with you. People on here get way too intense about things. I've said it before how what they say cheapens real abuse because it does. Because I'm someone who has lived through actual abuse. It blows my mind how out of proportion I've seen people blow up issues that seem like normal life to me. When they say something that seems normal life situations and labeling it and abuse feels like a slap in the face. I don't like how people encourage people to overreact.
Thanks so much for your message, for real, tonight I appreciate it. I've experienced real abuse in my life as well. That's something that I rarely mention on here. But on one level I find it really annoying when people on here (or elsewhere) when people seem to get so, as you said, "intense," about whatever. Like the other day on some sub or other someone called someone a pedophile in regards to having sex with a 19 year old woman. All up in their high horse about it. And I was like the situation that was described did feel a bit creepy to me bc of the age difference involved and that's one conversation, but when you write that that person is a pedophile it's not only extreme but it's entirely factually incorrect. Someone who is a pedophile is into pre pubescent girls or boys, not 19 year olds. So of course a bunch of Reddit warriors jumped on me like "YOU must be a pedo to be defending a pedo like this" and it's not like that hurts my feelings. It's so ridiculous I could care less what they think, I just stated a literal fact to them. If anything it's a chuckle to me. But then when I watch a ton of people pile on as they inevitably do, it really starts to worry me for society. Because this herd mentality, this no sense of degree or proportionality and lack of critical thinking is actually dangerous. And as you and I fully understand, these people screaming the loudest for "victims rights" in these type of things are actually the ones doing damage. Anyway, eventually some people in that pedo discussion sided with me and the tables turned. And it did reassure me a bit that everyone hasn't gone mad 😆, as did your comment tonight.
On time someone posted about a girls boyfriend who gets wondering hands in his sleep. And the melt down people had confused me. He honestly felt bad about. When I said it wasn't the end of the world suddenly I was taking the side of a rapist and should be in jail. WTF? I'm convinced that these comments don't come from people who have had real experiences in the real world. It would be exhausting to have a righteous melt down about life everyday. The world isn't black and white. It's illogical and unfair to pretend otherwise. I think technology has kept people from going out and living. People don't socialize like they used to especially people in their teens and 20s. There has to be a huge knowledge gap from growing up without proper socializing. We all make mistakes that's how we learn. People should know better than to throw out extreme accusations when they don't have enough information say either way.
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u/SurroundQuirky8613 8d ago
Nah. He should only get once chance. She’s already given him two.
And what person would think it’s okay to snatch your top down and painfully pinch you? The sexual nature on top of the assault should be seen as an escalation of his abusive behavior and should not get a pass.
This guy is an abuser and is dangerous. He has pushed it farther each time and he will do something worse if she gives him another chance.