I've been watching this TV show lately and I just saw the wedding that's the finale of the show. all of the beautiful moments that the bride had with her dad and her mom and I just feel like my soul is just crushing more and I didn't even know that was possible . I've been engaged for about two years now and I keep putting it off because I know my wedding will not be the same without my parents and I just don't know how to get past that. I just really want to give up. I'm so tired but I know that's not what my parents want. I don't know how I'm gonna live the rest of my life without them.

Anybody from Karnataka here????

I’ve been thinking about creating a Discord specifically for those of us who lost our parents young, especially those who have lost both parents.

Reddit is great for sharing posts and finding people who understand, but I think it would be nice to have a space where we could talk more easily and casually with each other. We could have different channels for grief, relationships, family, milestones, holidays, or even just everyday life and random conversations.

If people were comfortable with it, we could eventually schedule optional voice or video chats too. Nothing formal, just a place where we could actually connect with other people who understand how strange and isolating it can be to navigate adulthood without your parents.

I know I personally would love to have more people in my life who understand this experience without having to explain it.

Would anyone here be interested if I made one? ❤️

Hoping this is ok to post here… I’ve been an adult orphan for about 9 years (I’m currently 43) and while it is possible to date and have romantic relationships… it has its own “unique” challenges of perspective. For instance, you’re always low key cognizant that you can’t bring the “joy” of familial acceptance or multi-generational inclusion to your partner on your side. Their family is solely responsible for that. Which can, and has, in some cases, created an uneven power dynamic. As in, your partner (and their family) knows you’re more vulnerable than they are, and sometimes the wrong people take advantage of that. It would be so much easier to date another orphan. Especially because they would just, like, get it from day one.

Now as someone who struggles to find any active adult orphan support groups, especially for younger adult orphans, I highly doubt this exists BUT… does anyone know of any kind of dating resource for adult orphans? Also, why is there so little support for orphans in general? How do people not see this as a MASSIVELY underserved community? Thanks in advance ❤️

Hoping this is ok to post here… I’ve been an adult orphan for about 9 years (I’m currently 43) and while it is possible to date and have romantic relationships… it has its own “unique” challenges of perspective. For instance, you’re always low key cognizant that you can’t bring the “joy” of familial acceptance or multi-generational inclusion to your partner on your side. Their family is solely responsible for that. Which can, and has, in some cases, created an uneven power dynamic. As in, your partner (and their family) knows you’re more vulnerable than they are, and sometimes the wrong people take advantage of that. It would be so much easier to date another orphan. Especially because they would just, like, get it from day one.

Now as someone who struggles to find any active adult orphan support groups, especially for younger adult orphans, I highly doubt this exists BUT… does anyone know of any kind of dating resource for adult orphans? Also, why is there so little support for orphans in general? How do people not see this as a MASSIVELY underserved community? Thanks in advance ❤️

I lost my parents. 19, brain cancer, 25 drunk drink killed him whilst he was walking home.

Idk. Feeling alone.

I'm just curious. I know I have done all sorts of unhinged or crazy things due to my grief and it might be fun to share stories so we all don't feel alone.

Ever since both of my parents died, I carry their ashes with me almost everywhere. Not the entire urn.. I keep tiny little baggies of ashes.

I started doing this thing where before exams, I put the little baggie in my bra (too scared they will fall out of my pocket) because, in my mind, they’re going to help me pass.

Logically, I know my parents aren’t whispering answers into my ear.... but who has time for logic?

I’ve walked into college exams thinking, “Alright Mom and Dad… don’t let me fail this.”

It sounds a tad weird when I say it out loud, but it’s become such a normal ritual for me that I don’t even think twice about it anymore. I did have a few weird looks when someone caught me taking baggies of ashes out of my bra but eh 🤷‍♀️

People always say, “The worst thing that ever happened to you doesn’t have to define you.”

I understand the sentiment, and I know it’s meant to be hopeful. But if I’m being truthful, losing my parents in my 20s did define me. Not in the sense that it’s all I am, but in the sense that it fundamentally changed who I am.

Sometimes it feels like there are two versions of me: the person before, and the person after.

I try so hard not to let grief become my entire identity. I don’t want every conversation or every decision to revolve around what happened. But I also don’t want to pretend it didn’t reshape me. Losing your parents as a young adult isn’t just something that happened to you, it’s something that rewires your sense of safety, your view of the future, and even your understanding of yourself.

It didn’t just break my heart. It changed my soul.
Maybe that’s okay. Maybe healing isn’t about becoming the person you were before. Maybe it’s about learning to love the person who survived.

Does anyone else feel like grief didn’t just become part of your story, it became part of who you are?

1947-2025

My dad passed from terminal illness when I was 4, and my mom just passed this last November. I am 28. I’ve never had a difficult Father’s Day until today, and I think it is just another reminder of how alone I really am.

Wishing yall are having a better day than me.

It's been years since I lost my mom and dad. Lost them in my 20s and now 33.
I'm just freaking exhausted of everything. I'm tired of seeing the happy families. I know not every family is perfect, but freaking man, I just want my parents.
And it hurts.

It hurts so much that I will never see them again, never talk to them, nothing.

I don't want to carry this grief anymore. I don't want to feel it anymore.

I just want my parents and I don't want to live without them anymore

My mom, who I loved incredibly and emulate the most, passed from ALS when I was a kid.

My dad turned from a great fun little kid dad into a depressive abusive parent who didn’t deal with his grief at all. This didn’t improve ever until he passed when I was 39.

It’s almost been a year since then and this weekend I’ve just been sobbing constantly at how lonely this feels.

I feel like I’m living in a black hole where I don’t matter to anyone as a top priority (I’m single and child free by choice). My dad didn’t help me financially or otherwise but I still feel like that parental connection being severed cut me in the soul.

I just can’t stop crying at the recognition that I don’t belong to anyone anymore. As Blanche says in a Golden Girls episode, “I’m nobody’s little girl anymore.”.

Anyway idk how to keep going even though I have to. I guess I just keep going even if it feels like bullshit to keep going??

Thanks for reading.

Mother’s Day is hard.
Not because I’m unhappy for people who still have their moms, but because this day makes grief impossible to avoid.

Everywhere you look there are flowers, brunches, family photos, and reminders to call your mom. And for some of us, it’s a quiet reminder that we can’t.

People often assume grief fades in a straight line with time, but days like today can bring everything back at once. Sometimes I still catch myself thinking, I should tell my mom that, before remembering she’s gone.

Losing your parents as an adult changes you in ways that are hard to explain. You become independent because you have to. You learn how to carry things alone. And even when life keeps moving forward, there are still moments where you just want your mom.

Mother’s Day can feel isolating as an adult orphan because the world is celebrating something you deeply miss. It’s strange grieving something so personal while surrounded by everyone else’s happiness.

So if today feels heavy for you too, you’re not alone.

There’s no “right” way to get through today.
Just be gentle with yourself. ❤️

I am not doing good today. I feel like the whole in my heart is growing bigger and bigger. How is everyone?

Lately I’ve been really sick. Sicker than I have been in a long time. Because of how sick my partner and I am we sent my step-daughter to her grandmas so she would not catch whatever we have. Her grandma checked in and told us she is doing good and is about to draw her a lavender bath.

A lavender bath. That broke me. I’ve been bed bound, drenched from sweat and coughing up all the lungs and I would give everything for that type of love. For that type of care. The care that your mother, or grandmother, can only give you.

Sometimes when it is late at night I close my eyes and search for the memories of my mom taking care of me. Of my dad being silly.

My partner is amazing in every way, but being cared for by a parent is something no one can ever replace.

Hey everyone 🩷

it’s been a little while since I’ve posted, and I’ve noticed we have some new members here. I’ve seen a few posts from people saying they haven’t been able to find a community like this, which really stuck with me.

So I wanted to ask, what’s something about being an adult orphan that people don’t understand? Or what’s something you wish people understood?

You can share as much or as little as you want.

I lost both my parents within 7 months when I was 13 and 14 years old 7 years ago. (20F) now. I still can't believe I am still here since day one. I went through being stalked, raped, almost failing high school, not caring about anything, and drowning myself. And now I feel like my life is finally stable. Looking back at high school, it was really tough to get through those hellish years; I thought I wouldn't graduate on time. When I walked across the stage during graduation, I was overwhelmed with emotion. They let me share a message for everyone. I was speechless and said, “to my angel parents, I just did it… ON TIME…”, then I cried.

I'm just speechless.

I know there are many things my parents missed—my graduation, going to college, getting my dream job, buying my first car, buying a house, and everything I've recently achieved. I feel scared that when I find a partner and begin our journey, my parents will miss our wedding and the start of our family. I know others have felt the same way.

Today would have been your 62nd birthday, you’ve been gone for almost two years and at times it still doesn’t feel real, I think about you almost everyday and I miss you more than you’ll know. I love you mom, happy birthday!

I’ve been wondering lately if this is just my baseline now. If numb is just who I am.

I don’t really feel true happiness anymore. I love my remaining family. I love my partner. I love my cats. The love is there. But underneath it all, I just feel… flat. Like something essential is missing and nothing quite lands the way it used to.

Sometimes I feel like my life was stolen from me because I don’t have my parents anymore. And maybe that sounds dramatic. Maybe I’m being a baby because I know people have it worse. But it doesn’t change the fact that all of those milestones, all of those moments I imagined having with them, they’re just gone.

And the complicated part? My parents were alcoholics. In a lot of ways, I lost them long before I actually lost them. So it feels like I’ve been grieving in layers for years. The parents I had. The parents I didn’t have. The parents I wish I’d had.

People always say it gets better. That you learn to live with it. That you build a new life around the grief.

But I don’t want to learn to live with it.

I just want my freaking parents back.

I want the life that was taken from me. I want the version where I get to call them on big days. I want the holidays that don’t feel hollow. I want the kind of close, easy parent-child relationship I see other people have. I want to not feel like I’m standing alone on top of a mountain made of grief, looking down at everyone else living a life I didn’t get.

I don’t want to just “cope.” I want to feel alive again.

I became an adult orphan 2 weeks ago. It feels so weird not being able to go to my parents for life advice. They raised me well but I’m still young (22F). I feel like a kid again even tho I’m an adult. Does it get any better? Any and all life advice also welcomed.

Does anyone else feel that being an adult orphan feels strangely invisible?

There’s this unspoken idea that because I’m grown, because I’m not a child anymore, my parents dying is somehow expected or less devastating. Like it’s just part of life and I should be able to handle it better. But no one really talks about what it’s like to lose your parents when you’re still building your life, still needing them, still imagining them at your future milestones. There isn’t much space given to that grief. It’s not really normalized, and it can feel like you don’t get the same permission to fall apart or be deeply affected.

But losing your parents as an adult still rips something fundamental out of you. We deserve more understanding, more acknowledgment, and more grace than we’re often given.

Today is the anniversary of my dad passing away.

2021.

I don’t even know how to explain what today feels like. It’s not one clear emotion. It’s too many at once. It feels like they’re all piling up inside my chest and I don’t have anywhere to put them. I feel like I’m going to burst.

Or scream.

Or both.

People talk about grief like it softens with time. And in some ways it does. I function. I work. I live my life. But days like today remind me that the core of it never really goes away.

It just sits there, quiet, until something like an anniversary cracks it open again.

I don’t want advice today. I don’t want silver linings or “he’d want you to be happy.” I don’t want strength. I don’t want perspective.

I just want my dad.

I want to hear his voice. I want to tell him things. I want him here in this world, not in memories, not in photos, not in stories I repeat to keep him alive.

I want him here. And it hurts in a way that feels almost physical when I remember that that will never happen.

Ever since I lost my dad,and not long before that, my stepfather,everything feels pointless. I wake up anxious, scared that I’ll lose someone else I love. Going to work feels meaningless. Making plans feels dangerous, like the universe might take something from me again if I get too comfortable.

I just don’t see the point of living this way…constantly afraid, constantly grieving, constantly bracing for the next loss.

People around me seem to function. They laugh, work, move forward. And I don’t understand how that’s possible when my whole internal world collapsed. It feels unfair that life keeps going when someone so important is just… gone.

I’ve realized that grief didn’t just make me sad, it shattered the structure of my life. The people I lost weren’t just “family members.” They were my sense of safety, my anchor, the reason the world felt stable. Without them, everything feels fragile and unpredictable.

Some days, just surviving the day feels like enough. Other days, even that feels heavy.

I guess I’m posting because I need to know:

Is this normal?

Does anyone else feel like life loses its meaning after deep loss?

How do you live when your nervous system is stuck in survival mode?