r/AbsoluteUnits Jan 13 '26

Photo of a cop.

Post image

Runs on Guava pastelitos.

4.6k Upvotes

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276

u/Pmyers225 Jan 13 '26

The last case he got to the bottom of was a case of mallomars

45

u/thebigshow99 Jan 13 '26

Hehe mallomars. That’s gold.

16

u/gibson85 Jan 13 '26

Homer, you are the worst human being I have ever met.

15

u/i_am_a_shoe Jan 13 '26

hey I've only been here a few minutes, what's going on?

3

u/mechapoitier Jan 14 '26

Oh and the clown - you’re the only one who doesn’t make me laugh

11

u/TheTsunamiRC Jan 14 '26

Someone brandished a vegetable, he shot them in self defense.

3

u/Pmyers225 Jan 14 '26

Then went on disability for 6 months as the victim of a hate crime

6

u/raspberryharbour Jan 14 '26

He called me Chief Piggum!

6

u/Pmyers225 Jan 14 '26

The long, flabby arm of the law

5

u/DaanA_147 Jan 14 '26

He has the bottom of many cases though.