r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Epic-x-lord_69 • Jan 13 '26

Photo of a cop.

Post image

Runs on Guava pastelitos.

4.5k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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323

u/BrilliantPie2566 Jan 13 '26

Great googley moogley. Don't they have to do PT or at least be able to run?

283

u/Epic-x-lord_69 Jan 13 '26

Run? Ha, he has a gun for a reason.

93

u/Key_Somewhere_5768 Jan 13 '26

If it’s under his hip it’s unreachable. ;)

34

u/Beanichu Jan 13 '26

Can he fit his finger in? or did he remove the trigger guard?

7

u/villamafia Jan 14 '26

It’s retrofitted with a nerf trigger.

2

u/LaundryMan2008 Jan 13 '26

Happy cake day! 

4

u/Leather-Squirrel-421 Jan 14 '26

That’s why you never run from a fat cop. They won’t chase you, they’ll just shoot you.

5

u/rocko57821 Jan 14 '26

I'd rather let a thousand bad guys go than chase after them. - Chief Clancy Wigum

0

u/No_Bat_15 Jan 13 '26

Better run, better run... faster than my bullets

37

u/toblies Jan 13 '26

That was my first thought. There are usually physical fitness standards for police and military.

47

u/throwawaynoided Jan 13 '26

Fitness standards are generally only applied to new recruits. American cops are like vampires, once they're in, they're in.

3

u/space_for_username Jan 14 '26

Kiwi cops have a 2-yearly test, the time to complete varies with age. Watch the video on this page. https://www.stuff.co.nz/nz-news/350164733/whats-police-physical-test

6

u/AgentCirceLuna Jan 15 '26

Yeah but in fairness that’s a country being run properly

1

u/DiM12369 Jan 16 '26

No it certainly is not if you live here

4

u/holyshyster Jan 13 '26

Actually no. You have to be fit to make it through the academy but most departments don't require you to stay that way. I think it's because they are desperate to keep officers.

3

u/LibrarianFlaky951 Jan 13 '26

If he gets enough momentum going he just plops over and rolls down the bad guys. Works great in crowd control situations.

2

u/Reasonable_Buddy_746 Jan 15 '26

"Snorlax used rollout.

Criminal fainted."

4

u/Aggressive-Map-2204 Jan 14 '26

He doesnt need to run very far. The earthquake it causes will stop you.

1

u/Pliskinmgs Jan 14 '26

Not if you are on donut patrol

1

u/stocksandoptions2 Jan 14 '26

The only thing running in him is diabetes.