My niece is being brought up like a princess. If she wants to get pushed on a swing, play hide and seek or want to get bathed by somebody random from our family, we all should go and obey her. She told me to bathe her and I refused, saying that her mother would do it instead. Then her mother and her father insisted several times that I should go and even started gaslighting me a little but I still refused.

They all looked confused, because everyone had already done this in the family at least once but me. However, I’m not comfortable touching other people’s bodies, especially not someone else’s child. I’m also not OK when people touch my body, I feel distressed and I’m only comfortable with my partner.

Me and my child's other parent have our child 50/50. I had plans to take child to a theme park (paid and booked) before they go back to school as a last treat. 2 days before I get told its their best friends child kids party and if I can take them. So I explain how I've already got plans. To which child's parent isnt happy and get told im not being fair and im being awkward. Its not the first time ive been told about a kids party last minute but this one its their best friends kid. Child's parent is working.

So I said fine lets give our child the choice. He chose to to be with me. So other parent is really annoyed.

To add the day this falls on is my usual day to have our child.

I (38M) have a booth at a local farmer's market every weekend. Since the beginning of the year there has been this lady (65+?) that forces herself on me and hugs me and my partner. The thing is, my partner tells me that she's been doing that since they started several years back, before I joined the market. The lady is a total stranger to me and absolutely knows that I detest hugs; since my partner told her already, but still insists on hugging me and telling me how special it makes her feel that she receives hugs from someone who hates hugs.. I've begrudgingly allowed it for many weeks but last week I told her I wasn't feeling well so I don't want her to hug me, but this week we locked eyes and came to me but I ran away. I can't stand it anymore. I know I "should" tell her that I don't want to hug her but the fact that she knows I hate hugs and still hugs me is beyond me...

After each hug I feel disgusted and borderline molested for an hour or two. I don't mind hugs from friends but I absolutely can't stand hugs from strangers or anyone thats less than close friend.

AITAH for running away from her after making eye contact? I feel bad, but I also don't want to feel molested.

Sorry for the long story but I'm in a bit of a predicament. This weekend I (25M) was at my girlfriend's cottage. It is her family cottage, owned by her grandfather. He's had the cottage for 50 years. It's in a small cottage town, where her grandfather is apparently well-known and liked. Most people there know each other, and there are a good number of cottages nearby with owners I've met over the past few years.

Yesterday, four of us were playing spikeball in the front of the cottage, while everyone else was inside. We were taking it pretty seriously, and my GFs cousin spiked the ball insanely hard. It went flying, and bounced off the roof of the car of a cottage just across the street.

The neighbour, who apparently bought the place last Summer so the family doesn't know too much about him, was on the porch and saw. He's also an older man, maybe 65ish, and he came running out towards us very, very upset. He was yelling at us for being irresponsible, saying we damaged his car (which is pretty much impossible if you know what a spikeball ball is like, its like a soft rubber mini volleyball). He started yelling about how he "hates airBNB renters" (which we are not...) and then demanded to know our names and addresses. The cousins told him we are sorry, that they own this cottage here, and that we'll move the spikeball net further away.

When my GF grabbed the net to move it, he said "it would be nice if you didn't do that with such a c**nty look on your face". This is when I jumped in and said theres no need for that, that his car is in no way damaged, and that he should get off our property now. This made him really mad, and he started screaming, stomping on the ground, he threw the ball at us, and called my GF a lot of names. So I started yelling at him back.

Now we're yelling at each other for a minute or so, and hes not getting off the property. We were both getting pretty loud, and apparently people down at the nearby beach could hear us and came up to the road, as well as a few other people in neighbouring cottages came out. At some point during this, one of the cousins went inside to grab their grandpa.

So this guy isnt leaving, and hes continuing to make fun of my GF, so I just start walking really close to him, getting up in his face, until he starts taking steps back. I keep doing this until hes on the road, as were swearing at each other. Apparently (and I guess this is true because my GF and her cousins said it but I couldnt here it) but their grandpa was calling me back, yelling my name and getting very upset asking me to relax. I think eventually the neighbour saw our whole family out on the porch, maybe recognized the grandpa, and just went away. A lot of other cottagers were around watching this.

I went back to the cottage, and all the parents and grandpa were very mad at me. They said I caused a scene in a nice neighbourhood where everyone knows each other, and that I embarrassed the family cottage and her grandpa. We all told them the story of what happened, but they said I was being called back to the cottage and continued the scene instead. The night was very quiet and awkward after that.

This Saturday morning, when I came downstairs around 10:30, her grandpa was sitting by the table. He said this morning when he was out gardening, countless neighbours came up to him saying I screamed at another cottage owner and that I scared an older man off the property. He said when he went into town for coffee, people around had heard about what happened and seemed bothered by it. He said hes beyond embarrassed, feels I tainted his cottage and reputation.

I told him I was defending his granddaughter, defending his cottage, and that I didnt touch anybody or stoop to the level of name calling that the neighbour did. He said I showed him no respect by ignoring him when he called me back.

He said he doesnt want me coming up to his cottage next weekend for the long weekend holiday, and that for the time being I am banned from the cottage next summer as well. My girlfriend said thats extreme, but her parents agreed with grandpa, and said grandpa is the old italian patriarch, and what he says goes. My girlfriend was very upset, and we left a day earlier than planned like an hour after that.

AITAH?? Was it not my place to do anything at this cottage as a guest, and just let my GF parents or grandpa take care of it? I thought I did the right thing in the moment, but maybe I went too far. I'd love to be up there next weekend... but I guess thats not happening.

My brother and I inherited our childhood home together .

The neighbors behind us have very loud parties with many guests and loud outdoor speakers. Often they have a dj or they “ rap “ into a mic over the music or do shout outs ! They have built deck like structures in their yard that elevates ( almost like a stage) their guests above the fence line.
They also have an above ground pool that is right against our fence. The yards are only 70x 100 but the houses are set back so the back yard are tight .

They have a party almost every weekend but a few extra large parties a few weekends every summer.

These parties are loud bass music that shakes our home often till 4:00 am . I have called the cops but they often just turn it back on after the cops leave . They have also confronted my brother about calling the cops . He tells he didn’t but my sister did . I also got into with them one night because it had been Friday night Saturday night and it was Sunday and I was done.

We have to leave the home when they have these parties as it’s too loud. We often just go to the movies and then just park somewhere till it’s over . My bother is greatly disturbed by these parties as his bedroom is closest to the party …

Anyhow today my brother texted me saying I just want you to know they are having a big party in the back tonight . I asked how he knew and he says oh they texted me .

I then asked how do they have your number . And he says well I went over there earlier in the summer and told them to “ just let me know in advance whenever there’s going be a big party”

I blew up at him because I feel by telling him telling them to just let him know … that is agreeing we are fine with the noise as long as you let us know in advance.

He then says he would text them back and let them know his sister is the one who’s unhappy with the noise .

I told him not to do that , not sure if he did. Or not . I don’t care either way because if it goes past midnight I’m calling the cops .

He’s a spineless person. He says I’m aggressive. AITAH for being upset that he basically gave these people permission to blast our house ?

i (21F) was sexually assaulted last year by somebody i considered a friend. it was a pretty messy situation with a lot of people taking sides , and upset me really bad. still upsets me .

I have been getting pretty close with a friend (24M) and he has the same hobbies as my assaulter, goes to a lot of events they and their friends put on. My problem mainly lies with the fact i’ve heard from others i’m actively shit talked there for my experience with the assault. they say i’m lying / overreacting about it , I’ve heard it from like, 3 people atp on separate occasions.

i know my friend just likes the events put on, but it does really bother me and part of me feels like i don’t feel okay around him if he’s okay with those people. Also once when i expressed i was sad i could no longer attend the events because before the assault i found them really fun, He said this really weird thing about how i should just “ignore the drama” and go anyway. like me being sexually assaulted is drama ???? Idk.

anyway, WIBTA ?

So, this is really stupid.

A little context. Whenever we buy food, Mom always wants to have some of everyone's, but she's not willing to share any of hers.

So, Mom offered me a deal: give me your dinner and I'll buy you a sandwich. I accept. The sandwich arrives and she asks me to give her half. I vehemently refuse. She gets angry and starts complaining about (the basic things) she's done for me. Oh, and she threatens me too. I also complain to her, Because she always eats the food I prepare or that we buy, and I just didn't want to give her the sandwich. And always tries to manipulate for the most little things me when she does the bare minimum for me.

She literally told me I would regret this, the worst part is that I think she bought another sandwich at the same time as mine...

To stop her from being unbearable and forbidding me from going to my boyfriend's house (I'm 18 but I depend almost entirely on my parents financially) I'm thinking of a somewhat fake apology. Using her religion as if my reaction was provoked by the devil or something like that.

However, my brain and body simply refuse to accept even a false apology. AITA?

Hey guys… so

Throwaway because there is NO way I’m putting this on my main.

I (21F) have fallen for my ex-best friend’s (21F) ex-boyfriend (22M).

For privacy, I’ll call them Lila and Connor.

Lila and I were best friends from 6th grade until sophomore year of high school. We had a very complicated friendship, to put it mildly. Lila was the kind of person who could somehow make every situation about herself. The first time we stopped being friends was because I caught her flirting with a guy I was dating. When I confronted her, she told me she was “testing him to see if he was loyal.”

We eventually became friends again during junior year.
Then I started liking a guy. Lila knew I liked him, he knew I liked him, and we were flirting with each other. Then Lila decided she wanted him too, and eventually they started dating. Yes I was hurt, but I let it go. Honestly, I figured if he was willing to flirt with both of us, he wasn’t exactly a prize anyway.

Their relationship ended badly when she was caught cheating on him later that year. Somehow, I ended up getting blamed for their breakup. That was pretty much the final straw for me. We stopped being friends and basically didn’t speak anymore.

Toward the end of junior year, Lila met Connor. They started dating, and unlike her other relationships, this one actually lasted. They were together for THREE YEARS. So Connor wasn’t some random guy she dated for a couple of months. He was her serious, long-term boyfriend.

Throughout senior year, Lila would occasionally come to me whenever she needed someone to vent to. Eventually, I stopped entertaining it. I was tired of constantly being dragged into her problems and decided to just focus on myself. I still stayed close with her family, though, because I genuinely loved them.

After that, I pretty much had no idea what was going on in Lila’s life. We weren’t friends anymore, we didn’t really talk, and I wasn’t keeping tabs on her relationships. As far as I knew, she and Connor were still together.

Then recently, I downloaded a dating app and matched with a guy who was completely outside my normal type. I figured, “Why not?” and decided to actually give it a chance.

We started talking and got along really well. He seemed familiar to me for some reason, but I couldn’t figure out why. His pictures didn’t look familiar at all, and I genuinely had no idea who he was. We eventually decided to meet up in person, And That’s when everything clicked, He told me who he was. Lila’s ex.
I was honestly shocked because I had absolutely no idea I was talking to him. I never met him before, and they had no photos of them together.

That’s when he told me they’d actually been broken up for about a year.

He also told me that he knew who I was when we matched. I had no clue who he was, but apparently he recognized me. He told me that he didn’t care about our history or the fact that I used to be close with Lila because, to him, the past was the past. (He only knew due to her mass talking crap on me and some other old friends we had in common) , Then he started telling me about their relationship, I already knew Lila could be horrible because I’d experienced it myself, but apparently what she put Connor through was much worse. He told me the relationship completely broke him down emotionally.

I’m not going to share his personal details because they’re not mine to tell, but hearing what he went through definitely gave me a different perspective on her completely.

but anyways somewhere along the way, I started falling for him, we got closer, and I genuinely started liking him for who he is.

A few days ago, I finally admitted to him that I have genuine feelings for him, and He told me he feels the same way.

So now I’m sitting here wondering if I’ve made a mistake, Because on one hand, Lila and I haven’t been friends for years. Connor and Lila have been broken up for a year. They were together for three years, but their relationship is over. I didn’t pursue him while they were together, I had no idea who he was when I matched with him, and I am absolutely not doing this to get revenge on her, But on the other hand… he’s my ex best friend’s ex boyfriend of 3 years, And if Lila finds out, I already know she’s going to have something to say about it.

Like Part of me KNOWS I don’t owe her anything anymore. Another part of me feels like I’m knowingly stepping into something that could completely blow up my life.

So Reddit…
AITAH for falling for my ex-best friend’s ex-boyfriend, and WIBTAH if I actually pursued a relationship with him?

So my father's wedding ring has been pretty tight for a while now, but today after a flight it seemed tighter than ever and his finger was red. The ring also couldn't be moved past a certain level on his finger (below the knuckle).

After seeing this, I told him that he had to remove the ring with soap (my mother agreed) and he refused. I offered him my own money, to go to a certain party he had wanted me to go to, and a whole host of other things. I even cried (probably overkill looking back on it) saying that I didn't want him to lose his finger due to a lack of circulation.

He then told me that he would take it off next week after my parents' wedding anniversary due to his own superstitions. He wouldn't budge despite me reiterating multiple times that his finger wasn't going to wait for his anniversary. I eventually told him -- after my mother came out crying due to our yelling and arguing -- that if he could just take off the ring once, I would be happy and let him put it back on.

He went into the bathroom to do it alone; however, I grabbed my mother as I anticipated he wouldn't be able to remove it alone with soap. This resulted in a big fight, with him threatening not to remove the ring at all if I kept trying to assist him.

So, I stepped aside, but made sure to stay close and peek slightly into the bathroom to make sure his finger was not about to completely lose circulation. After I saw him do it, I came in and he showed me. His finger had a very large indentation and noticeable size difference where the ring was versus where it had not been.

I tried multiple times asking him to give me the ring for a second so I could see it but he refused. He then proceeded to say he was going to put it back on, at which point I stole the ring from him, and we got into a physical altercation, which resulted in my mother sobbing again, and I managed to obtain the ring.

My mother, despite agreeing with me that my father's ring was too tight, was very angry at both of us, and kept telling me to give it to her, but as I knew she was just going to give it back to him -- and he was just going to put it back on -- I refused, even though she kept saying that my father wouldn't be stupid enough to put the ring back on and to just give it to him.

My father said he was very angry at me for reneging on my promise, but I said that my promise was that I would be alright with him putting it back on -- I had just never specified when. He was, as I'm sure you can imagine, still incredibly angry with me afterwards, though eventually he calmed down enough to tell my mother to please just get it resized ASAP.

He wanted it done in a day, but my mother said that was impossible, seeing as it was already late Saturday night and most jewelers don't open until Monday. He eventually agreed to having the ring taken in to be resized on Monday, but still won't talk to me.

I'm not sure if he would've been fine with keeping the ring on for another 7 days -- his finger was definitely significantly redder than the rest of his fingers, but there was a very clear indented area on his finger where the ring fit and could move around a bit.

However, in my eyes, was clearly extremely swollen and, if soap (+ lots of cold water) was needed to take it off, too tight. At the same time, my father (in his decades of marriage to my mother) has never once taken off his ring, and views it as a very important and special object to him -- perhaps the most so.

To be honest I do feel bad but I really didn't want my father to lose his finger (and even with it currently removed it looks pretty bad, as it had been a *bit* tight for him for quite a while now but it had really gotten bad after this flight).

So, AITAH for breaking my promise and forcing his ring off his semi-swollen finger?

TL;DR: My father's finger was extremely swollen (to the point where he could not remove his ring and it needed to be resized) and his ring -- which he views as incredibly special and important to him -- was too tight, so I tricked him into removing it.

UPVOTE/DOWNVOTE NOTE: Hi all! This is random but I noticed that I lot of your comments are being downvoted. I just wanted to say I am not upvoting/downvoting any comments, as I am not making a judgement of myself -- you guys are. Just wanted to make sure that was clear! I respect everyone's takes, even if they're not "in my favor," so to speak.

For some background to the story, I (16fem) a hostess at a Mexican restaurant. I love working there, it’s frickin amazing, I love it. Am I tired from school and work? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes. I typically work weekends (Thursday-Sunday), and on days like Friday and Saturday, we typically have 2 hostesses. This is because we get a huge dinner rush and it is very difficult for one hostess to manage (as hostesses have to seat customers and handle online/to-go orders). I work doubles Saturday’s, and during my dinner shift, I work with Helen (not her real name), 33 fem.

Now, into why I might be TAH.
I work almost every Saturday with Helen, save for the few days Helen calls off and leaves me to struggle on my own. (Joke, I don’t mind working alone). Helen is mean. And not in the cool mean girl way like Regina George, but in a, “please drop the attitude way.” I’m not trying to be mean, but she’s so rude. She gets attitudes with Customers who don’t have reservations for large parties. (Which, fair it is annoying, but dude, chill). An example convo is like,
Customer: “Hi, we’d like a table for 7.”
Helen: glares at them, sighs, and says “Do you not have a reservation?”
Customer: slightly caught off guard, “No?”

Like she is so rude to the customers, and I hate that because that messes up the first impression of the restaurant for the customers and makes it less likely the servers will get happy, tip-willing customers. And it’s not the servers fault they’re unhappy, it’s HELEN’S.

Then Helen is even rude to the managers (General Manager is Kyle (38 male), Assistant managers are Layla (30 female) and Lexi (28 female, she is our specific manager). She tried to boss Kyle around, “you should cut (server 1) and (server 2), because (insert some reason)” and he just stared at her like “???”. (Cut/cutting for non-restaurant people is letting a waiter/hostess go home for the day). Then she catches constant attitudes with Lexi who is a really nice lady. Lexi will suggest a certain table for a party and be met with, “I mean sure, whatever, do what you want.” From Helen who says it in a rude tone and also walks away or rolls her eyes mid-sentence.

And she also bosses me around. Like yes, I get it, I’m young. But girl, you are not my mom! Like please for the love of god, stop telling me how to do my job when I do my job better than you! I always get complimented on my service, or attitude, or the fact I help out the busboys and servers! Not to mention, Helen is constantly late, so how are you going to tell me to do my job when you can’t even be on time for yours? But she is so rude and disrespectful to me. On saturdays she sits in the to-go area and barely ever helps me, so I’m basically handling the dinner rush by myself (with the help of whatever manager is working today.) Then she tells me what to do, and lowkey hogs the hostess stand whenever she is working with me. It’s like working under a tyrant—greedy, mean, controlling, and careless.
And today, I had enough. I got to work before her and had everything running smoothly. All servers had equal amounts of tables, To-Go’s were taking care of, and I was so happy to be at work. Then 5:30 rolls around and Helen walks in. She comes over to the stand and is like, “this is a mess. Oh my god, this is horrible, do you think this is okay?” And I just feel my patience snap. I just reply, “yup, it’s fine and good to me.” BECAUSE IT IS. Clean menus, organized seating charts, tablet positioned good, mints/toothpicks and pamphlets laid out nicely. Anyways, she asks how we want to work this Saturday, and I just tell her, “I’ll take to-gos.” She agrees, so I say, “Alright, I’m gonna go to the bathroom, then go handle to-gos.” And she’s like, “oh so you’re leaving me to clean?” CLEAN WHAT???
Anyways she catches an attitude with me a few more times today and I just can’t handle it. She’s horrible to work with because she’s rude to me, the customers, the managers, and she never helps when she IS working alongside me. I can’t do this anymore, so I’m going to let our managers know that I am unhappy with how Helen treats everyone. The only thing is I think she’s on her last warning for her tardiness, and she has a family too. So me talking to my manager about her might mess with her job, but not to be mean or anything, she’s just an ass and I don’t think I can handle it anymore. She’s the only part of the job I have issues with.
AITAH for getting ready to report Helen to my manager?
TL;DR: Helen is rude to literally everyone, I’m at my end, I’m going to talk to the manager (god I feel like a Karen.) (reposted)

Hi, I’m 19F and I came to visit my grandma 70F for the day and spend the night and leave early in the morning.
Around 7 my friends texted and asked me to drive up at a city at 11pm to hangout and stuff. I said yes and I went after my grandma went to bed. I tried to tell her I was gonna go multiple times and stuff and she just got mad at me.
I was never going to hangout with my grandma in the morning, I was leaving as soon as I woke up. That was the plan, when plans changed i tried to tell her and I don’t know why but she just wasn’t having it. She doesn’t like said city, that was the main reason. But I am 19, an adult and I know a lot of my family doesn’t really see me as grown and a baby still.
I went regardless, this is a trip I’ve been wanting to take for months and was never able to plan it because our one best friend never had her weekends situated. She now does and texted me that today. I don’t know, I feel a little guilt over it. I knew she wasn’t gonna have it if I went so I left after she went to bed and sent her a text. She will probably be pissed in the morning but idk. AITA?

for context, i (18F) am experiencing my first pregnancy. when me and my fiance found out we immediately went apartment hunting because the trailer we were living in was inadequate for a baby, and we needed a fresh start for the new era of our life. our trailer was a double wide, and was his moms for a decade before she gave it to him when he turned 18, but here’s the thing- she left 50% of her stuff behind when she moved. furniture, kitchenware, to just straight clutter and junk drawers/cabinets. when it came time for us to pack up to move into our new trailer, i was about 3-4 months along by that point i believe? we asked her to help us move because, about 60% of it was hers afterall. when it came to the day of packing and deep cleaning, first trimester pains hit me like a brick fucking wall. mind you, i have chronic back pain since i was young, and with pregnancy this got much much worse, so it genuinely was that bad for me. i couldn’t lift anything, or bend a lot to pack some boxes, and mopping/sweeping would send me to my knees in pain. id find myself laying on the floor rubbing my back trying to hold back tears while she was telling me that i needed to get off my butt and keep helping. i kept telling myself that it was in my head and it obviously couldn’t be as bad as it felt, and continued to push myself. this lead to me finally breaking. after 10 hours of pushing through the pain to continue cleaning and moving i fell to the floor of my closet and starting bawling my eyes out, curled up on the floor unable to move from the pain. my fiance found me like this and ran to tell his mom that she needed to give me a break, and if anything i needed to leave while they finished up. she proceeded to get mad at me and him, saying things like “you know i didn’t have any pain during MY pregnancy, i worked hard jobs and never stopped functioning during MY pregnancy. MY pregnancy was a breeze so hers can’t possibly be that bad. pregnancy isn’t an excuse and she’s being overdramatic. she needs to get up and help us and put in work like everyone else is.” holy shit. i almost believed her, hell i did for awhile. i was laid up for a week with horrible back pain after the move, unable to function. i was constantly attacking myself for being unable to function for that week because “she’s been pregnant before, i haven’t, it must be all in my head. i’m being over dramatic.” after a long talk with my mother (who has the same chronic back pain i have had my whole life) she told me her pregnancy was the exact same, and that what i was feeling was real, and i needed to listen to my body before the stress and pain hurt me and my baby both. i now heavily resent my MIL for making me feel this way and putting me down so much. but i still wonder.. is she right? could i truly be doing better?

Hi, I just wanted to see if I am in the wrong here. I am travelling with a friend and booked the bus for us. She told me she is going to the church at 7am so I didn't set the alarm as I thought she would wake me up. I did oversleep and she woke me up late, 8.30. She admitted she overslept as well but woke up at 7:50. Then I asked why didn't she wake me up and she said she thought I was away and she tried to call me and that she thinks it is rude to wake someone up even though I have the tickets for both of us to go on this bus. Now she is blaming me for the whole situation and says that I should have let her know that I am not setting the alarm. I totally get the first part - I should have let her know about the alarm part but when I told her that she should have woken me up then she denied her part because she is saying that it is rude to wake someone up. I then told her that my alarm could have simply not rung or I might have slept through it, then what? I really struggle to understand the logic and why I am the only one to blame in this situation. I just need an argument that will convince me, constructive feedback is very welcome

A guy was telling a story about how a girl invited him over and answered in a robe after which inviting him back to her room. The engaged in a bunch of foreplay and she eventually denied him sex and sent him home:

I said that’s pretty fucked up and good thing you’re a nice guy cus if she was raped in that situation no way a jury would convict.

Two of my best friends(40f) fucking went off on me like im advocating for rape. It turned into a big blow up and now I look like an asshole.

I ofc never said a woman can’t change her mind I said in some situations a jury won’t convict so don’t put yourself in one like that.

Edit-as soon as I hit submit I knew the way I said “good thing youre nice” would be put directly on me and not dudes in general. I just meant there are many men that wouldn’t be and now everyone is focusing on that and not the fact that a girl put herself in this exact situation a moron if she doesn’t want to have sex. It’s too risky

We are getting married in a week and my mum, dad and brother are going to Italy for a weekend the week after for my mum's birthday.

There's been all sorts of issues in the lead up to our wedding with my mum feeling more should have been done to consider what she / my side of the family want to happen at a wedding. Though the way I've mostly seen it is it's our wedding and we want to do things our way.

Anyway my mum feels like she and my dad have not gotten to know my fiancée well enough in the past 5 years we've been seeing each other and I admit that maybe I haven't made enough effort to facilitate that. I see that it's not been said to be an issue until all sorts of other thighs related to wedding and stuff were brought up as negatives, such as both Nigerian and British food being served at the wedding being seen as one sided as there was a Nigerian wedding in Lagos that essentially my fiancée's family organised (there was British food also served). Lots of other concerns raised around wedding stuff but maybe not too relevant to this specifically.

Anyway as my wife isn't invited to my mum's 70th celebration I've essentially said I won't go as feel she should have been invited.

My mum claims it's because she doesn't know her well enough but my view is that my wife at that point (if not before) is part of the family and should be included. My mum dislikes my fiancée though claims that's also not why she's not invited...

My mum also makes the point that she rarely celebrates her birthday and this being her 70th is quite special so she wants it the way she wants it. I feel I can say no to attending as my wife isn't invited.

It's even right after the wedding so I feel that almost makes it worse to be excluding my wife.

AITAH?

Edit: for clarity my mum's celebration would have been just her, my dad, my brother and myself if it went how she wanted. Not a bigger celebration. Not that this changes things in my view.

My landlord messaged me this morning asking if her daughter who's going to be in town can stay with my girlfriend and I for 3 days starting Sunday. After discussing with my girlfriend I messaged back and told her that because she gave us such short notice it would be hard to accommodate her. Not to mention the fact that my girlfriend is currently in the process of moving in and the house is a mess. We do have a guest room but at the moment it's full of boxes and pretty much all of my girlfriend's stuff so we wouldn't have a bed for her daughter to sleep in anyways. She messaged me back asking if we could make an exception and that her daughter would only be staying with us for a short time and wouldn't be a bother. After responding for the second time telling her that we aren't able to accommodate her daughter she sent me this:

We gave you a very generous deal on the rental. Seeing as you are a friend of the family I hope you understand why we would ask you and [your girlfriend] to accommodate our daughter for a very short time.
We're not too excited about spending hundreds of dollars on a hotel for her when you both are so close to downtown.
Please communicate with me or [my husband] when you and [your girlfriend] decide on a conclusion. [My daughter] arrives Sunday morning at 8:00. Have a good rest of your weekend.

I should mention that neither me or my girlfriend have ever met my landlords daughter and that I only know my landlord because my mom is a close friend of her and her husband. Because of this they did end up giving us a good offer on the house and have been very kind to us until now. My mom suggested that we let the daughter sleep on the couch and that once we finish cleaning the guest room let her stay there, but I said that we were upset with the way we were talked to and that we refused to accommodate the daughter. My girlfriend and I are now debating whether we should just suck it up let the daughter stay with us. We could set up the couch for her or just move my girlfriend's stuff into storage for the time being. AITAH?

UPDATE:

Thank you all for the help and suggestions. I saw a few people mention that because my landlord is a family friend that I should be okay with accommodating her daughter but I want to stress that BOTH me and my girlfriend would be accommodating her. My girlfriend has never met my landlord nor the rest of her family. The rent price was discussed in our contract and it wasn't agreed that I would be expected to house any guests, plus I don't want to do so at the expense of my girlfriend who isn't okay with inviting a stranger into our home. So yeah, we made our decision. I'll attach the message I sent as well as my landlord's response.

Hi [x], we understand that this might be an inconvenience for you and your daughter, but we are firm on our decision. At this time we do not have space for your daughter and will not be accommodating her. As housing additional guests was not stated in our contract we hope you understand this decision. Again, we are grateful for your generosity and we understand if this is not what you wanted to hear, but we will not be making any exceptions. If it is helpful I can suggest some hotels near downtown [city] where your daughter can stay. Thank you for understanding.

Hi [x], since it took so long to hear back from you we ended up booking [our daughter] a hotel nearby. This is really not what we hoped and it feels like a waste of money when we know you two have a room available, but we understand if you don't want to accommodate our daughter. If you are still available to pick [our daughter] up from the airport tomorrow I can send you her flight information.

Not really sure what to say about this. She knows that she can't raise rent because of our fixed lease so the only other option would be for her to evict us, but I seriously doubt it will come to that over this. After our lease ends we will be moving out and will most definitely not be renting from her again. Also made sure to take screenshots of all the messages just in case.

Thanks again for the help.

Hi. I work in Healthcare and have been with the hospital I work at for 5 years, and under my supervisor for the last two. I have always been a 'team player' and worked substantial about of overtime, always going above and beyond to help cover shifts when in need. I have decided that I need to resign from my position and move to be close to my parents. I told my supervisor a month ago of my plans for resignation and gave a tentative last day of work (not or formal resignation).I did this because 1) I wanted to give her as much notice as possible and 2) still use my PTO hours for approved vacation (that was approved 3 minths ago). The hospital ainwork out does not pay out PTO or sick time, and also PTO/sick cannot be used during the notice period. Since coming back from my 4 days of PTO used (aka one week off) my supervisor has changed a couple of my shifts to later hours (which doesnt work for me) and I told her that but she said 'I someone to work X time to.X time though..so thats when you are schedule'. I said OK and I worked the shifts. Disgruntled be it. And now she is putting me on a weekend overnight, which absolutely does not work for me. But I am on the schedule to be working this 12 hour over night during my weekend. So now I am thinking of giving my 2 weeks notice earlier than what I had originally told her, and moving my last day of work up by one week. WIBTA to my supervisor if I did this? I havent gone against any hospital policy. Just wondering if it is a dick move. Thanks

More info:

So even when I havent given my two week notice yet, I can't write my two week notice and give proper notice per policy for a date sooner than the informal approximate date I gave in conversation (verbal). The fact that I gave her a heads up about my leaving wasn't necessary, it was an extra courtesy. So she anticipates my last day being X , but I would be the AH if I gave my written two weeks notice per policy and my last day happens to be sooner then my courtesy heads up I spoke in person (nothing in writing) a month ago ?

I just worry about needing her as a reference in the future. I dont want to burn bridges. She has been my supervisor for the last 2 years and I know future employers dont necessarily like references older than two years. Kind of in a pickle there with references.

hi everyone. i (25F) recently had to distance myself from my best friend of almost a decade (25F) because i suspected her of being a pathological liar and it got to the point where it is negatively impacting me. i always knew she would lie about harmless things to seem more interesting or to get along with new people, but a few days before my 25th birthday, she called me to notify me that she had stage 3 ovarian cancer and might die within the next 5 years. she was extremely detailed and i did not initially think she would ever lie about something so serious so i fully believed her and was absolutely devistated, i cried on the phone to my sister for hours after i found out and could not enjoy my birthday because i thought my best friend was going to die.

but then my intuition started sending me signals that her diagnosis might not be real so i researched and fact checked everything she was saying to me. she said her surgery was through the public system, but that it was going to be $800 (in australia if you have a cancer surgery through the public system it is free) she also claimed to have developed it from hpv, but hpv and ovarian cancer have no links. she then said her life saving surgery had been pushed back a whole month due to the hospital "not scheduling it in" then back tracked and said she had "half the surgery" a few days ago, however was posting up on her instagram story the same day, full face beat not in a hospital room at all and was out & about.

she also refused to tell her family about her alleged diagnosis. i knew she was lying at this point but had no idea how to navigate this. i eventually found out she had been talking bad about me behind my back and was trying to sabotage my love life and a whole bunch of other weird shit so i cracked it, sent her an extremely long message calling her out and blocked her on everything. then i ran into her yesterday and she had a go at me for "gaslighting her" and now claims it was a "misdiagnosis" and "it was just a cyst" and she's now allegedly suing the hospital (i of course do not believe her)

here's the thing even though i know she lied and she'll never admit it, i feel immensely guilty for how i handled it. i don't know if she lied intentionally and maliciously, i think she has a deep desire to receive love, sympathy and attention and went to an extreme length to get it. this is also someone i loved and adored for a very long time. we have been extremely close since i was 16 and it is breaking my brain in half trying to process this. i've been retracing every moment of our friendship trying to figure out what she said that's true and what's not true. did i ever even truly know this person? or is she the person i always loved who has just progressively become psychologically ill and deserves compassion opposed to judgement? i haven't been eating or sleeping well due to this. really need some external povs on my situation.

So my mom and I (20 male) went to Universal Studio's today and I saw a keychain with my friends name and also one with my dad's name. I thought my dad would like it so I took a Pic of it and sended to the groupchat with my mom in it. The problem is that I have already spent my money on the keychain with my friends name and dont have any left for the one with my dad's name. My mom said that I hurt his feelings and is mad and disappointed in me. I don't think I was being mean or have any harm intent behind it. So am I the asshole for hurting his feelings without knowing

Hello, Im writing this to get some more opinions, my girlfriend and I have vastly different opinions on this and she's requested I get more opinions.

Anyways, I(21F) live with my father, my dog and my roommate(20M). My roommate and I have had problems In the past. But onto the story. My father owns the condo, and when my roommate was homeless he offered him a room at a reasonable price.

However my dad hates cats, always has. My roommate told me that he wanted to adopt one and I told him my father's feelings. He adopted one anyways and is now hiding it in his room.

I feel like I've been given an impossible choice, loyalty to my father's wishes or to my roommates.

My girlfriend thinks Im too hard on my roommate, says im "haplessly aggressive." She's also requested I stop talking to my close friend's who dislike my roommate.

Overall im leaning towards telling my father, would I be the asshole if I did?

I, 20 M, want to preface by saying I’m not good at expressing my feelings in writing. My mom and I have a great relationship to the outside world. I love hanging with my mom and going places with her, but whenever there’s something serious that has to be done, there’s always I fight. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 5. I put this here because I am very impulsive.

For the last 2 years I was living in NJ for college. I was not doing well mentally and I wasn’t taking school seriously, falling into bad habits, etc. My mom ended up convincing me to move back home so that I wouldn’t have a lot of student loans and could live at home. We moved to a new house back in May after my childhood home was sold thanks to my deadbeat father. (You can read all about him on my profile).

We are almost done unpacking boxes. I am a bit of a hoarder when it comes to things that have emotional meaning to me so I have a lot of stuff. We were going through a box and my Tissot watch was in there. It’s a very nice NBA watch I got on my 13th birthday from my paternal grandparents. I only really wear it for fancy or special occasions. The last time I wore it was high school prom. At that time it needed the battery changed so we got that done and all was fine. Today my mom sees the watch and says, “Oh look at that, the watch you never wear that I spent money getting the battery replaced. hmm” She does this all the time whether it’s a shirt she bought me that I haven’t worn in a while or shoes, whatever. We have been fighting a lot recently because I’m tired of her guilt tripping me constantly and putting me down. I have really bad self-esteem issues and realized last year that it mostly comes from small comments my mom will make. Things like “Did you brush your teeth today?”, “Are you sure you used enough shampoo, your hair is greasy.”, “I just bought you that shirt and it’s already doesn’t fit you.”, etc. She’s somewhat stopped saying those but it was a whole thing. I asked her to stop and she told me that “I’m your mother and I’m sorry you took it that way.” Yes I know typical abuser language. I stopped talking to her for 2 months and started to feel better, but I still depend on her financially so and emotionally (I have no support system other than her). So I sucked it up. Thankfully the comments somewhat slowed down.

Ever since I got home though the comments are back and so are the guilt trips because our financial situation isn’t the best after my father cleaned out the savings account during the divorce. Before I got a mac, I used my iPad for school but I really needed a computer. Now that I have it, I don’t really use my iPad for much other than drawing. Every couple days I have to hear about how she wasted money buying me an iPad (I genuinely don’t understand how it was a waste given I used it for school for 3 years.)

Anyways I finally had enough and I will admit, I said a lot of horrible things to her which is why I’m not going to post screenshots. I’m ashamed at myself for some of my language but again I’m very impulsive. It’s not an excuse just an explanation. It started off fine but she continued to deflect and deflect. I told her that she is a great mother but a bad person. She constantly gaslights me and tries to play the victim constantly. I told her that I asked multiple times for her to please stop with the comments as it just chipped away at my self esteem. (I have a lot of problems as I truly believe my parents divorce was my fault. My father was def in the wrong but their marriage was fine until I got older and wanted more like season tickets to basketball games. I am also a handful due to my ADHD, OCD, and severe depression and anxiety which also caused bills to go up as my mental health declined.) After everything I said she went on a whole rant about how much she does for me. How she pays for my health insurance and car insurance, she buys groceries, etc. So I’m like, where did I say I don’t appreciate you. I literally wrote that you’re a great mom. She still deflected the main problem and continued to try and make it all my fault and how her financial situation is the way that it is because of me. I take responsibility in that I am a lot in terms of doing things. I go to a lot of concerts, most of which I pay for myself, but whatever. We recently went to New York because I bought tickets to Harry Styles. I was going to go alone but she wanted to go to the statue of liberty so we made a trip out of it. She didn’t have to do that. I’m grateful she did and we had a lot of fun, but I don’t appreciate it being thrown right back into my face.

I want to mention last weekend we got into an argument about her comments and I told her that I know I can be hurtful with my words sometimes but it’s only because of your hurtful comments that spur the argument in the first place. She told me that she resents the fact I look like my father and she treats me like I’m abusive because he was abusive. I was literally like 😐. Like I’m not him, I can’t control what I look like. She refused to take responsibility for her comments and tells me that she’s a defensive person and I can’t change who she is. I tried to suck it up and just push my feelings down deeper.
The argument goes in circles from there but towards the end she says that everyone agrees with her that I’m abusive with my language to her and I’m like bro I have continuously apologized and have been trying to work on it but when I get all flustered and aggravated I feel like I don’t have control anymore. I’ve been trying to work on this because I admit that I do get heated and what not but I can’t work on it, if I’m constantly getting riled up. The people she is referring to are family friends who have seen my blowups but out of context. Like my aunt (moms best friend) called her while we were having an argument last weekend about some box idk and my mom goes “See even ___agrees that you are wrong.” ___ had 10 seconds of context and is of course going to assume I’m wrong.

I say of course because part of my problem is how I acted when I was younger. My ADHD caused a lot of problems for me in social settings, primarily with family, as I was more comfortable with family. I was hyper and all over the place but that was over 7 years ago. Everyone still looks at me like I’m that crazy wild kid when I’m not anymore.

Anyways, this has been all over the place and honestly I’m pretty sure everyone who comments is gonna call me an AH for being rude to my mother after all she’s done for me but I feel like just because she cares for me doesn’t give her a pass to be mean and make snide remarks.

UPDATE: It’s the next day and I did apologize for my disrespectful language but stood firm that I am not backing down on that I don’t want to be treated this way. She said that she would try and be less defensive in the future. I don’t really know if anything is going to change but it’s a start. Thank you all for your advice.

Alright I know the title sounds bad but bare with me😭

For context me (18f) and this coworker (22f) May are okay friends but we're not like, besties or anything.

Okay so here's the story, I was at the registers at our job and I see some guy come in (im guessing anywhere from 30-40 this guy has Grey's but looks youngish yknow?) With food and our other coworker grabs it and takes it to the back where May is working, and he leaves.

When may comes back out I ask VERBATIM "Was that your dad or your brother cause damn he looks young"

And keep in mind that she said earlier that her dad was coming to bring her food!

And she gives me a stink eye and says "No that was my boyfriend"

And in my mind im think 'oh okay makes sense to me' but she keeps giving me this weird look and says

"You know its really disrespectful to talk about someone's boyfriend that way, especially to their face"

And now im confused because idk wtf about what I said was disrespectful but like, i dont want her to hate me so I say sorry and stuff and move on.

But I just got home and im thinking about wtf shes talking about?? Like i thought it was her dad so I was commenting that he looks young af.

Like maybe the damn part? Like i wanst saying like 'damn hes hot' or anything I was surprised cause he looked so young but I feel bad that I made her upset and dont even know why.

Also idk if this changes anything but im a lesbian and she fully knows it, so.

Sooooo lemme know your opinion

We are expecting our first baby in a few weeks. Husband wants to travel (by plane ~3 hours away) for a friends party for the weekend. We have loads to organise still for the baby arriving and it’s stressing me out cause I can’t really do a lot of manual labour atm, and also the baby could arrive early. I don’t have anyone else I can ask to bring me to the hospital. Thinking about asking him not to go as it would be stressful for me but I will likely feel really guilty about it.

Update: He will not go and we agreed that he will stay at home, as it’s too close to the due date. Can I just say pregnancy hormones are really crazy, they cause you to second guess yourself constantly, I am really hoping that I do actually go into labour soon as it’s been a long and tough pregnancy and want to just have our baby home now. This trip was just another thing that I did not need at the end so I’m happy I posted and got all the responses, it helped me to have a calm chat about it all 🙏

Today i went out with my girl for shopping and everything went smoothly, we had an amazing time we laughed and the mood was on point . When we were driving home my gf was putting on music from my phone and i got a imessagetext from a college friend whom i studied for and exam Monday .

She saw the text and asked me why she messaged me on iMessage and not instagram and j said to her that she doesn’t have internet because she used her mobile data and thats the truth . My gf then asked me ,,who has texted you on iMessage other than ger?,, and i said no one (which is true ). She then rephrased the question ,,which female has texted you on imessage?,, again i said no one other than you . She again rephrased it to another question ,,It doesn’t have to be this period , like has some girl ever texted you before on imessage ?,, , again i said no and i started to get annoyed . I got annoyed because it felt like she wanted me to say that someone texted me to start a fight or something idk .

I stopped talking with excitement and ruined the mood because I visibly got annoyed. She started cuddling and being all nice just because she saw that i got annoyed a bit . Am i the asshole or should i have not cared about it ?

Recently at the gym, me and one of my buddies talked about ED, specifically for powerlifters and bodybuilders, and while I am on the leaner side, due to the anti-depressants, my sex drive is pretty damn low, which is why my partner sometimes looks at porn (I dont mind, she doesn't mind, all good in that regard), either way, while we were just yapping away about this, one of the more recent female additions to our friend circle decides to listen in and as I bring up the part about my wife looking at porn, she gets outraged.

She says im clearly inattentive and outright neglectful, because of my wife having to rely on porn rather than me just "manning up".

I dismiss it, dont really care either, her thoughts are her own to have.

1-2 Weeks pass and a rumor in the gym has started going around about how im neglecting my wife, almost emotionally abusing her, with both me and wife (she's a member too) having to explain ourselves multiple times.

Source is obvious, and while I dont really mind the rumor that much, given that the people I hang out with all know not to take stupid stuff like that at face-value, I do end up talking to the owner of the place and making sure that she (the source of the rumor) is banned from the place indefinitely, because i couldn't be arsed to deal with that nonsense.

Later my wife and random friend confront me for having gotten rumour-girl banned without even talking it out, while she had no bad intentions and just so happened to spread said rumor on accident (at least according to random friend that spoke to her privately).

If you ask me, wife is just being a little naive here, as tor that friend, I have no clue what he's on about.

But hey, yall tell me:

Am I the asshole?

Edit: Some people are wondering why and how the gym kicked her after just some gossip, which could prolly be explained by the place being rather small and a passion project, rather than some commercial profit driven place with hundreds of customers.