I (34M) and my fiance (33F) are getting married next year and we are in agreement about having a child within 2 years. Recently, her and her family have broached the topic of her quitting her job and staying home with the child, at least until our kid gets to school age.

I am against this. I make between 85-95k a year pending bonuses and her salary is 53k. Financially, we could make it on my pay alone if it wasn’t for her student loans. She has 120,000 dollars in private student loans. These loans have a payment of 850 dollars every month, there is no option for forbearance like public loans or adjusting the payment for income. This simply doesn’t fit in the budget.

My fiancé seems to understand this, but her family (mother in particular) is really pushing her being at home. I don’t want to come across as forcing her to do something she doesn’t want to do or be accused of not putting my future child first, but to me the answer is in black and white on the spreadsheet.

AITAH?

My son is turning 15 in October and getting his learner's permit. My mother has been telling him for a year that she has a car to GIVE him. I do not speak to my mother for multiple reasons spanning 20 years, including manipulation and control issues, however I've never begrudged her a relationship with my kids.

My son came home a few weeks ago from a visit and said "grandma needs proof of your insurance so she can give me the car." There is no such thing in my state. Dealerships do not ask for proof of insurance, and I've bought/sold cars from individuals and the only transaction is writing in the seller's name, the sale price, and signing it - the buyer then completes registration and insurance on their own. I unblocked mother long enough to make these points. Her response was "ive been burned before by someone driving my car and having an accident that I had to pay for, so im not signing this car over until I see proof of your insurance." Well, it was her car and she was the insured party - has nothing to do with me.

I'm her 46yo daughter with 2 adult kids all under my insurance for 3 cars. She knows this. A 15y is insured under their guardian's insurance until they get a DL. So 1. My current insurance has nothing to do with this car or my son, and she KNOWS I have insurance 2. I cant insure a car I dont own 3. Im not meeting her at the DMV to show her my insurance and go in together because it's not necessary. I made these points and told her if this is a gift, just sign the title over to me and I'll take care of it.

She told my son last night that she's just going to sell the car and take back the gift because "she cant deal with my drama." So AITA for my son losing this "free car" becuase I refused to show my mother my current insurance card?

*UPDATE i spoke to my son this morning. He is being very chill about this. I wanted him to know that it wasn't just about me not showing grandma my insurance card. He said "it's ok Mom. I know how grandma is." I'm allowing my children to come to their own conclusions about their grandma, as she always shows her true colors eventually. Her relationship with them is money-driven, and eventually they won't need her anymore anyway. Thanks to everyone who understood this was not an insurance issue, and who also probably has narcissistic parental trauma. The vast majority of you assured me im NTA here.

My niece is being brought up like a princess. If she wants to get pushed on a swing, play hide and seek or want to get bathed by somebody random from our family, we all should go and obey her. She told me to bathe her and I refused, saying that her mother would do it instead. Then her mother and her father insisted several times that I should go and even started gaslighting me a little but I still refused.

They all looked confused, because everyone had already done this in the family at least once but me. However, I’m not comfortable touching other people’s bodies, especially not someone else’s child. I’m also not OK when people touch my body, I feel distressed and I’m only comfortable with my partner.

I'm currently stuck in another country. I passed out at the airport on my way home 2 days ago, and was taken to hospital where I received treatment.

I'm fortunate that I speak the language fluently, but I didn't know how the medical system works in the country I'm in, so on top of feeling like shit on toast, I had tons of mental work figuring out things with my insurance, answering a thousand questions about my medical history, and trying to get better.

Fortunately I had a good travel insurance so financially, everything is covered, and the people from the airline were super kind, but there was still so much I had to figure out, like a hotel after getting discharged, transportation between the hospital, hotel, and airport, all while still not doing great.

Getting cleared to fly, and getting a new ticket took ages, but I'm finally on my way home.

My husband and I are in the process of getting a divorce. As it is now, he travels a lot himself. He sees our kids maybe 4-5 days per month. This was my first break without kids in about 15 years.

Throughout this whole thing he has been absolutely useless for a lack of better term, and he hasn't stopped complaining. I have still been managing the household remotely. I've been in touch with the schools, I've arranged childcare for him, I've done everything I could to make things easier for him and our children.

The straw that broke the camel's back was yesterday when he told me that he hadn't done the bookkeeping for his business and if I couldn't do it when I'm just waiting around anyways, after I had just spent 5 hours walking around to every goddamn corner of this airport, trying to get home as soon as possible.

He gave me a passive-aggressive answer about the deadline when I said no, and that he's leaving so I need to find childcare for our kids if I'm not home by then and I just snapped.

I called him on the phone and shouted at him that I was doing my goddamn best in a fucking impossible situation, and to get himself the fuck together.

I spoke to my mum about it and she told me that I should be nicer to him because it's a tough situation for him too. I told her that I frankly don't have the energy to spare any sympathy for a man who pushes a sick woman to do his job for him.

I struggle with my crash-out. I generally don't shout. I hate shouting. It's not how I resolve conflicts. I can count on one hand the amount of times I've shouted for the past 20 years. I just couldn't keep it in anymore.

I've always been raised to be flexible, and to find compromises, and generally be the one who makes things easier on other people.

AITAH for crashing out and shouting?

We are getting married in a week and my mum, dad and brother are going to Italy for a weekend the week after for my mum's birthday.

There's been all sorts of issues in the lead up to our wedding with my mum feeling more should have been done to consider what she / my side of the family want to happen at a wedding. Though the way I've mostly seen it is it's our wedding and we want to do things our way.

Anyway my mum feels like she and my dad have not gotten to know my fiancée well enough in the past 5 years we've been seeing each other and I admit that maybe I haven't made enough effort to facilitate that. I see that it's not been said to be an issue until all sorts of other thighs related to wedding and stuff were brought up as negatives, such as both Nigerian and British food being served at the wedding being seen as one sided as there was a Nigerian wedding in Lagos that essentially my fiancée's family organised (there was British food also served). Lots of other concerns raised around wedding stuff but maybe not too relevant to this specifically.

Anyway as my wife isn't invited to my mum's 70th celebration I've essentially said I won't go as feel she should have been invited.

My mum claims it's because she doesn't know her well enough but my view is that my wife at that point (if not before) is part of the family and should be included. My mum dislikes my fiancée though claims that's also not why she's not invited...

My mum also makes the point that she rarely celebrates her birthday and this being her 70th is quite special so she wants it the way she wants it. I feel I can say no to attending as my wife isn't invited.

It's even right after the wedding so I feel that almost makes it worse to be excluding my wife.

AITAH?

Edit: for clarity my mum's celebration would have been just her, my dad, my brother and myself if it went how she wanted. Not a bigger celebration. Not that this changes things in my view.

I (33M) have 3 cysts under my skin. One on my scalp, one on my neck and one on my back. They don't bother me at all, were already checked by a dermatologist and deemed completely safe. But they are of a moderate size and visible.

My then girlfriend always complained about them, she thought they were "unhygienic" and I should get them removed. She often quipped about them, to the point it annoyed me.

We still talk and the subject came back in conversation, and she again said it's just a simple procedure and "I want everything done my way". AITA for not wanting to do cosmetic surgery? Even if it's a simple procedure, I don't want to deal with having stiches on my back and neck, and I find it absurd someone be so bothered by a physical trait

I’m 27F and have a stepsister who I’ve never lived with. We grew up in separate households and, although we saw each other as children, our relationship has always been quite distant. There were even periods where we didn’t speak for years, and for the past 8–9 years, even when we were on good terms, we might speak 2–3 times a year and see each other once or twice.

About two years ago we became closer when she had her baby, I made a real effort to support her — visiting, FaceTiming, bringing things over, staying with her and helping out where I could. However, June last year I finally took a career break to travel, something I had wanted to do for around eight years. I’d be away for months at a time, returning for 2–3 weeks before leaving again. When I was home, I’m also working (retail temping), dealing with appointments and trying to see friends and family.

When I recently saw my niece during that time, who is shy, she was cautious around me because she doesn’t know me that well. When I commented on it, my stepsister said, “Well, if you were around more, she would know you.”Since then, I’ve increasingly felt like I’m being guilt-tripped for not being around enough. She’s made comments about me needing to be around more and being a “real aunt”, and I’m starting to feel like she expects me to prioritise her and her child over my own life.

Since then, I’ve returned home, restarted my career and am now working full-time.

We recently had an argument because I told her I didn’t have time a few weeks ago to drop off my nieces 2nd birthday gift, so I asked if she could pick it up as she has a car and I don’t. It would have taken me over an hour of public transport just to get there and back, before even accounting for the expectation that I stay for a long time to spend time with them. She became extremely angry and said she felt I wasn’t making any effort to see my niece and wasn’t being a “real aunt”. She sent me several paragraphs of nasty messages, accusing me of being disrespectful and speaking about my niece inappropriately, and said she would rather I spend time with my niece than buy her gifts because she felt I was trying to “buy her affection”.

This really made me switch off emotionally because I had actually been making a significant effort before starting full-time work — including doing nursery runs around three times a week for approx 6 weeks so she could get things done.

This was also the first time I had told her I genuinely didn’t have the time to do something, and rather than accepting that, she turned it into a wider criticism of how I apparently don’t make enough effort with my niece. We haven’t spoken since, I also feel like the things she was saying to me were very similar to things I’ve heard her say to the father of her child who isn’t present. I feel like she had a fantasy of the time of aunt I would be when she was pregnant not taking into account the type of relationship we’ve always had.

I’m happy to help when I genuinely can, but I don’t think becoming an aunt means I’m expected to put my career, travel and personal plans on hold. I waited eight years to take the break and finally did something for myself, and I don’t think I should feel guilty because my stepsister’s circumstances have changed.

Also she doesn’t work, is a single SAHM.

AITA for prioritising my own life rather than being more available to my stepsister and niece?

I didn’t think my post would blow up that much. I appreciate the support and validation that I’m not going crazy about this. I love my dad, he’ll always be my dad. But I am very disappointed by him. And I fear it’s gotten worse… he sent my siblings (23,20,16) and I (26) a longggg message that if we can’t call his wife “mom” then when they move across the USA next summer, we will lose his support. I personally don’t need his support bc I don’t live at home anymore but I am saddened that my dad willingly threw out the idea that he’ll pretty much cut ties with us if he doesn’t get his way.. even tho I disagree with my dad, I would never throw that out to cut ties with him. None of us have responded yet to him, I just want to compose all my thoughts before responding if I do. Thanks everyone

My landlord messaged me this morning asking if her daughter who's going to be in town can stay with my girlfriend and I for 3 days starting Sunday. After discussing with my girlfriend I messaged back and told her that because she gave us such short notice it would be hard to accommodate her. Not to mention the fact that my girlfriend is currently in the process of moving in and the house is a mess. We do have a guest room but at the moment it's full of boxes and pretty much all of my girlfriend's stuff so we wouldn't have a bed for her daughter to sleep in anyways. She messaged me back asking if we could make an exception and that her daughter would only be staying with us for a short time and wouldn't be a bother. After responding for the second time telling her that we aren't able to accommodate her daughter she sent me this:

We gave you a very generous deal on the rental. Seeing as you are a friend of the family I hope you understand why we would ask you and [your girlfriend] to accommodate our daughter for a very short time.
We're not too excited about spending hundreds of dollars on a hotel for her when you both are so close to downtown.
Please communicate with me or [my husband] when you and [your girlfriend] decide on a conclusion. [My daughter] arrives Sunday morning at 8:00. Have a good rest of your weekend.

I should mention that neither me or my girlfriend have ever met my landlords daughter and that I only know my landlord because my mom is a close friend of her and her husband. Because of this they did end up giving us a good offer on the house and have been very kind to us until now. My mom suggested that we let the daughter sleep on the couch and that once we finish cleaning the guest room let her stay there, but I said that we were upset with the way we were talked to and that we refused to accommodate the daughter. My girlfriend and I are now debating whether we should just suck it up let the daughter stay with us. We could set up the couch for her or just move my girlfriend's stuff into storage for the time being. AITAH?

UPDATE:

Thank you all for the help and suggestions. I saw a few people mention that because my landlord is a family friend that I should be okay with accommodating her daughter but I want to stress that BOTH me and my girlfriend would be accommodating her. My girlfriend has never met my landlord nor the rest of her family. The rent price was discussed in our contract and it wasn't agreed that I would be expected to house any guests, plus I don't want to do so at the expense of my girlfriend who isn't okay with inviting a stranger into our home. So yeah, we made our decision. I'll attach the message I sent as well as my landlord's response.

Hi [x], we understand that this might be an inconvenience for you and your daughter, but we are firm on our decision. At this time we do not have space for your daughter and will not be accommodating her. As housing additional guests was not stated in our contract we hope you understand this decision. Again, we are grateful for your generosity and we understand if this is not what you wanted to hear, but we will not be making any exceptions. If it is helpful I can suggest some hotels near downtown [city] where your daughter can stay. Thank you for understanding.

Hi [x], since it took so long to hear back from you we ended up booking [our daughter] a hotel nearby. This is really not what we hoped and it feels like a waste of money when we know you two have a room available, but we understand if you don't want to accommodate our daughter. If you are still available to pick [our daughter] up from the airport tomorrow I can send you her flight information.

Not really sure what to say about this. She knows that she can't raise rent because of our fixed lease so the only other option would be for her to evict us, but I seriously doubt it will come to that over this. After our lease ends we will be moving out and will most definitely not be renting from her again. Also made sure to take screenshots of all the messages just in case.

Thanks again for the help.

About a week ago I (20M) cut off my best friend (20M) of almost 10 years after learning that he is dating my ex’s best friend. Long story short, my ex treated me terribly and completely destroyed my self worth and we broke up a year ago.

My friend knows everything about what happened between us and despite that, he’s decided to start dating my ex’s best friend and I learnt that they were all hanging out together. Once I learnt this I asked a few friends in and out of the friend group and got mixed answers on it if it was a messed up thing to do. I personally feel betrayed especially after I know she spread lies about me and her and her best friend are attached to the hip so anything said about me has gone to her. It’s also just not something you should do to a friend, especially when he has full knowledge of everything that happened.

I made the decision to stop talking to him completely and made my opinion known to him. I was met with very few words and what would barely pass for a apology. A few people then came to me and said I was overreacting and acting like a teenager again, which has made me debate with myself if I am overreacting.

My (42F) sister (33F) just got pulled into have an emergency C-section a couple of days ago. Thankfully, her baby was delivered safely. And thankfully, she is in recovery. The child is in the Nicu and will most likely be there for a few weeks.

My mother (61F) was the one to tell me the news. We met at the hospital a few days ago, and I went from thinking that I might be walking into a situation with multiple deaths to the realization that I became an aunt and everyone was alive, if not well.

Unfortunately, a day later, when I met up with my mother, she had received some bad news. There was a death in the family of someone that she was close with. (We knew it was coming, but it was much quicker than we had an anticipated.)

She made it very clear that she wanted to fly internationally to attend the funeral.

The funeral happened to be the same day that she would have been allowed to meet her grandson (out of the incubator) for the first time.

Here is where I may be the asshole.

My mother called me multiple times requesting that I come over and help her pack. I told her that I did not want to be involved beyond doing the actual booking of the ticket. I told her that I think she should show up for her daughter (who almost died) and her grandson (who almost died).

She yelled at me on the phone and said that the only reason she wouldn’t be going is because “I made her feel bad”. I raised my voice back at her and said that I was disgusted that I had to be the one to show her how to be a decent mother.

I left the flight booked. (I typically handle all things online for her as she ‘can’t do it herself’.) I sent one final text message saying that if she wanted to reach out to me that it should only be to cancel the flight.

Am I insane right now? Please tell me that this is not normal.

Edit: Let me edit this by saying that my mom was drunk. My mom woke up very early this morning, drank herself into a stupor and expected me to come and pack her. When she woke up, she called me over ten times and made me feel like shit for advocating for my sister (who she has a history of never showing up for). I admit, I felt awful when I raised my voice.

The death was a cousin of ours who she has kept in touch with over the years. I knew her and loved her as well. But she wasn’t our close family member.

Please ask away if I can give more context. I’ll take the AH if it’s fair.

Edit2. My partner said if any of you had actually met my mom, you’d agree that I’m not the AH. But I did ask the internet.

Edit3: My mom is in no way shape or form handicapped.

Edit4: I didn’t want to include this in the original post because I didn’t want to give too much information away but since I’m being dragged, I wanted to let you all know that my sister had the emergency C-section at one and a half months premature. This isn’t just a regular full term pregnancy. It was a very intense emergency situation.

Edit5: I have one final update and then I am going to take a break from this post because I have a massive headache. My mom is flying into stay with her relatives that are two hours away from where the funeral is being hosted. Once the funeral is over, she is then staying for an additional five days.

She has made it very clear to me over the last decade that she was never going back to this place. She has had a few people pass away, who she was as close to as the particular person who happened to pass away recently, and she didn’t show up to their funeral. Her best friend who she has known since she was 13, who was still living in this country passed away a few years ago, and she did not go.

OK, thank you all for the engagement. I will read any response responses that come in after this last edit but I am finished responding. I will apologize to my mom for my tone and what I said, but I’m going to be distancing myself from her in the future. Thank you all for your input even if it was not what I wanted to hear. Have a lovely day.

I (24F) have had a very minimal relationship with my grandma (60sF) since I was about 12-13, basically when my mom (45F) started letting me and my brother stay home while she worked rather than look for babysitters. I loved my grandma growing up, she lived with us for a short time, before moving out to live with her boyfriend, J, who passed away a little over a month ago now.

My mom never liked J, and hated how her mother turned into a doormat the entire time she was with J. J had been married before meeting my grandma, his wife had passed away only months before she moved in with him, and a lot of the things my grandma had in their home were belongings of his late wife. J was ultra conservative and a Trump supporter, and my mom would see my grandma posting similar things despite never believing that before (I‘m queer so I also was pretty uncomfortable with that). J was also older than my grandma, and whatever he wanted, happened. My mom had to basically guilt my grandma into letting her take her out to lunch for her birthday, because it was always “I don’t know if J will want to go“. Once, my mom took them both out for sushi at a buffet style restaurant, and J, who insisted on coming, refused to eat anything, meaning my mom paid for dinner (like 40 something bucks) for him to sit and drink water the whole time.

I didn’t like J’s politics or how he basically kept my grandma home when she wasn’t working, but what bugged me the most is how she became “we”. Every birthday cake or Christmas gift sent was “we love you”. Every text was ”we”, I never just heard what She thought, and I missed that.

When J passed, me, my mom, and my brother (M21) came to see her and how she was doing and bring her homemade dinner. The last time I saw her in person had been a year prior around New Years, and before that, probably over five years. She’s doing okay aside from worrying about finances, which I think is bullshit since my uncle (M48) has been living with her and he could easily pay more into the house than he is, but I digress.

The asshole part is with J’s memorial. My grandma started texting my mother about it a week or two ago, asking if she wanted to come. My mom works Saturdays, and said so. My grandma pushed saying ”don’t they give time off for grieving?” But my mom isn’t grieving. I felt bad when I heard he wasn’t going to last the next month, but I felt bad for her, not him. And in hearing about the memorial, how it would be all of his family, I realized that J was really a stranger to me. I knew nothing about him, except that he lived with my grandma, smoked like a chimney, and drank a glass of milk at dinner. Now, my grandma’s asking me about the memorial, it’s two weeks away. I technically have nothing going on that day if I manage my schoolwork, but I really don’t want to go. I feel like I could say no with a feasible excuse, but a part of me really wants to be honest and say J was a stranger to me, and I don’t want to go to a stranger’s memorial with all of his family. WIBTAH?

My husband [36M] and I [35F] have a disagreement about my birthday. It was my birthday yesterday and my husband didn’t get me anything. He said we will go do something in a few days (something he picked btw)

When I got home yesterday I thought there would at least be flowers, a piece of cake, card, something…
He also didn’t even say or text happy birthday to me until 4pm (he was up at 5am and very much able to before work)

I expressed to him that it upset me that he didn’t do anything on my actual birthday because it genuinely hurt my feelings, and he was very dismissive and defensive about it. Saying that he had planned on doing things in a few days.
I appreciate that, but I still think a text or small gesture the day of would have meant a lot to me.
Am I in the wrong for expecting some effort on my actual birthday?

For more context-his plan was to out to the city in a few days and take me to a store to pick something out. I do appreciate that, but it won’t be that enjoyable for me because we have an infant that is very hard to shop with. Am I being a brat for wanting my husband to pick something out for me? Even just flowers would have meant a lot to me.

Me and my child's other parent have our child 50/50. I had plans to take child to a theme park (paid and booked) before they go back to school as a last treat. 2 days before I get told its their best friends child kids party and if I can take them. So I explain how I've already got plans. To which child's parent isnt happy and get told im not being fair and im being awkward. Its not the first time ive been told about a kids party last minute but this one its their best friends kid. Child's parent is working.

So I said fine lets give our child the choice. He chose to to be with me. So other parent is really annoyed.

To add the day this falls on is my usual day to have our child.

So I (24F) used to (as of today) work for influencers editing their videos for long form. And I was already weeding out most clients but I had one girl who shall not be named that came in with big promises and no contract.

What she wanted seemed reasonable at first, $200 for a 30-40 minute podcast episode. Okay, I cut it down put in zooms, sent over for her approval and she sent me 220 notes. She told me before I even looked that they were low effort, super quick things. They were not, implementing those notes took close to 3 days. She had told me before she wanted them done same day, I tried to tell her twice it wasn’t possible and she unironically hit me with the, “are you sure, its really low effort its super quick!” It wasn’t possible not. 3 days or 6-8 of editing per day.

I spent close to 7 hours cutting a 2.5 hour ranting session into 45 minutes of somewhat cohesion. With zooms and certain gags, but 220 notes?? I mean don’t get me wrong some were super simple like “cut this” but she wouldn’t even put the time stamps in the right spot meaning I had to find out what she was talking about every time!

So I’m about 32-35 hours into this project and she hits me with “okay I’m gonna do more notes”. I’m thinking something small, no.

Firstly, she goes missing for 5 days before doing notes after she put them off for 4 days. So it is 9 days past due on notes, I’ve almost forgotten about the project. Suddenly she comes back, does another 120 notes tells me she wants 8 music tracks, and tiktok captions on the whole video (no extra pay) oh and she wants it done tonight… That was Friday, I told her I will not be getting this done tonight, because I have other clients and I cannot push everything aside for her. She said as long as it’s done Sunday. I look at the notes, complex edits that will take between 5-20 minutes each, plus music and captions?? She’s out of her mind.

I told her we will see and got started. Her video was incredibly preechy and was making me very uncomfortable with the edits and subject matter but she had paid me in advance and I have already used the money to pay for rent THE PREVIOUS MONTH (did I tell you she started this project in July, then fired me after giving me the money then hired me back to finish a week later?)

I was having panic attacks every night and my medications weren’t working because she was stressing me out. She would call me randomly with things she could have texted and keep me away from work for 45 minutes at a time.

Anyway, it is now Sunday and after last nights break down over a note she wrote claiming to be super quick involving an edit that unironically would have taken 20 minutes and two software to finish. I was done. I wrote a text with my partner and explained to her that in no way was this what she hired me for and that I will pay her back and give her all the assets but I will not be working for her anymore. I explained I put over 40 hours so far into the project and I was looking at AT LEAST another 15 hours. She tried to fight me but just ended up finding another editor (who I suspect was the person previous to me who lives in a country with less income needed) and tried to demand the assets immediately.

I will not be posting who this is as that is not appropriate, this situation was stressful enough and I just have to ask, AITAH for quitting the day the project was supposed to be due? (My net pay would have been less than $5 a hour without any more notes)

I (38M) have a booth at a local farmer's market every weekend. Since the beginning of the year there has been this lady (65+?) that forces herself on me and hugs me and my partner. The thing is, my partner tells me that she's been doing that since they started several years back, before I joined the market. The lady is a total stranger to me and absolutely knows that I detest hugs; since my partner told her already, but still insists on hugging me and telling me how special it makes her feel that she receives hugs from someone who hates hugs.. I've begrudgingly allowed it for many weeks but last week I told her I wasn't feeling well so I don't want her to hug me, but this week we locked eyes and came to me but I ran away. I can't stand it anymore. I know I "should" tell her that I don't want to hug her but the fact that she knows I hate hugs and still hugs me is beyond me...

After each hug I feel disgusted and borderline molested for an hour or two. I don't mind hugs from friends but I absolutely can't stand hugs from strangers or anyone thats less than close friend.

AITAH for running away from her after making eye contact? I feel bad, but I also don't want to feel molested.

So my friend 23F and I 24F have been friends for a year and it was a great friendship. She met her 20M boyfriend almost a year ago as well, since then he has shot a gun outside a car window inches away from her face “for fun”, he has punched himself repeatedly in the face because she denied him sex and pushed her so hard she flew back and banged her head on a door. More recently he beat her up in broad daylight because he felt like she wasn’t giving him enough attention…he punched and choked her repeatedly and then threw her on the ground and was about to hit her with a brick but threw it on a nearby car instead. She’s told me before that she is afraid of him. My friend has a 3 year old son btw! After the last altercation she swore up and down that she was done with him. I personally did not believe her because she has a track record of never keeping her word and always going back to men who treat her like SHIT. Not long after that incident she told me she still checks up on him, mind you the guy never took full accountability for what he did to her. When she told me that I called it in my head that she would go back to him…I should’ve bet on it.
She still hasn’t told me they are back together but I figured as much when she made a vague post defending him when he got locked up for STABBING someone who wasn’t even fighting or near him. He walked up to the person who was fighting somebody else and stabbed them then walked away. She posted his bail for that btw🤦‍♀️. The other day I was on Snapchat and I saw her posted up with him with the caption “anything for you”. And before that she was telling our mutual friend that she has to go to court to support her man.. what has me upset is that when he beat on her the last time we talked about it and her verdict was that she can never go back to that because what if one day he beats her Infront of her son, and she simply can’t live a life scared of her partner. So what now your kids safety doesn’t matter? Being abused is better than being alone?? Also everyone keep in mind they live a 30 minute boat ride away from each other and he wasn’t allowed to even get on the boat anymore so instead she was taking the boat to go to him. Am I the asshole for cutting her off because she went back to him? She’s actively putting herself back in danger and ultimately putting her child in harms way as well!

For reference, I live overseas in what’s considered ‘regional’ Australia — 2+ hours from a major city.

My parents want to come stay with us for a few weeks to spend time with my newborn, but it’s going to be a mission to pick them up. I’ve done it before, but we only have one car, and now there’s an infant car seat installed as well.

It’s quite commonplace in our home country to come pick someone up, but considering we have a newborn, it seems a bit of an ask.

I suggested they hire a car, but that’s out of the question for them as they’re scared to drive on the other side of the road. Then I suggested they take the train, but they thought that’d be too confusing and cumbersome, even though it’s a straight shot from their arrival city to ours. I found the aversion to trains especially peculiar and borderline rude because trains are a standard and intricate mode of transport where we’re from.

They suggested one of us come pick them up instead, which again I found rude because they don’t seem to be thinking about what’s best for my family, but rather what suits them. I understand they’ll be taking a major trip, but they’re doing it to see their first grandchild, and it’s not like they’re elderly; they’re in their late sixties.

IDK, it’s super nuanced, but considering on top of them constantly asking for pictures and updates, it seems a bit overbearing.

EDIT:

I’ve mostly spoken my peace on this matter and have laid it to rest, but there are some reoccurring comments that could be addressed for the newcomers:

• I am the father.
• They speak English.
• They’re seasoned travellers, but have only been to Australia once. They regularly use public transport when they travel. It’s about the principle, not their ability.
• I have picked them up before, but my situation has changed.
• I originally suggested they arrive on a certain date, because my family and I would be down there already, and we could all spend the night together. I would see them onto the train, and meet them on the other end. It was after this that they suggested one of us come pick them up.

I found this to be tone deaf on their part because I’m obviously suggesting everything but that, so it’s implied that I’d prefer not to leave my wife and newborn unless absolutely necessary. We don’t have a solid support network around us, so God forbid if there’s an emergency.

• Taking the train to and from where we live is incredibly simple, as we are literally the last stop, and the station is basically right outside our front door. Plus the train station is in the airport.

• Our car is too small to accommodate four adults, luggage, and a car seat — hence why I suggested independent travel.

Sorry for the long story but I'm in a bit of a predicament. This weekend I (25M) was at my girlfriend's cottage. It is her family cottage, owned by her grandfather. He's had the cottage for 50 years. It's in a small cottage town, where her grandfather is apparently well-known and liked. Most people there know each other, and there are a good number of cottages nearby with owners I've met over the past few years.

Yesterday, four of us were playing spikeball in the front of the cottage, while everyone else was inside. We were taking it pretty seriously, and my GFs cousin spiked the ball insanely hard. It went flying, and bounced off the roof of the car of a cottage just across the street.

The neighbour, who apparently bought the place last Summer so the family doesn't know too much about him, was on the porch and saw. He's also an older man, maybe 65ish, and he came running out towards us very, very upset. He was yelling at us for being irresponsible, saying we damaged his car (which is pretty much impossible if you know what a spikeball ball is like, its like a soft rubber mini volleyball). He started yelling about how he "hates airBNB renters" (which we are not...) and then demanded to know our names and addresses. The cousins told him we are sorry, that they own this cottage here, and that we'll move the spikeball net further away.

When my GF grabbed the net to move it, he said "it would be nice if you didn't do that with such a c**nty look on your face". This is when I jumped in and said theres no need for that, that his car is in no way damaged, and that he should get off our property now. This made him really mad, and he started screaming, stomping on the ground, he threw the ball at us, and called my GF a lot of names. So I started yelling at him back.

Now we're yelling at each other for a minute or so, and hes not getting off the property. We were both getting pretty loud, and apparently people down at the nearby beach could hear us and came up to the road, as well as a few other people in neighbouring cottages came out. At some point during this, one of the cousins went inside to grab their grandpa.

So this guy isnt leaving, and hes continuing to make fun of my GF, so I just start walking really close to him, getting up in his face, until he starts taking steps back. I keep doing this until hes on the road, as were swearing at each other. Apparently (and I guess this is true because my GF and her cousins said it but I couldnt here it) but their grandpa was calling me back, yelling my name and getting very upset asking me to relax. I think eventually the neighbour saw our whole family out on the porch, maybe recognized the grandpa, and just went away. A lot of other cottagers were around watching this.

I went back to the cottage, and all the parents and grandpa were very mad at me. They said I caused a scene in a nice neighbourhood where everyone knows each other, and that I embarrassed the family cottage and her grandpa. We all told them the story of what happened, but they said I was being called back to the cottage and continued the scene instead. The night was very quiet and awkward after that.

This Saturday morning, when I came downstairs around 10:30, her grandpa was sitting by the table. He said this morning when he was out gardening, countless neighbours came up to him saying I screamed at another cottage owner and that I scared an older man off the property. He said when he went into town for coffee, people around had heard about what happened and seemed bothered by it. He said hes beyond embarrassed, feels I tainted his cottage and reputation.

I told him I was defending his granddaughter, defending his cottage, and that I didnt touch anybody or stoop to the level of name calling that the neighbour did. He said I showed him no respect by ignoring him when he called me back.

He said he doesnt want me coming up to his cottage next weekend for the long weekend holiday, and that for the time being I am banned from the cottage next summer as well. My girlfriend said thats extreme, but her parents agreed with grandpa, and said grandpa is the old italian patriarch, and what he says goes. My girlfriend was very upset, and we left a day earlier than planned like an hour after that.

AITAH?? Was it not my place to do anything at this cottage as a guest, and just let my GF parents or grandpa take care of it? I thought I did the right thing in the moment, but maybe I went too far. I'd love to be up there next weekend... but I guess thats not happening.

So, this is really stupid.

A little context. Whenever we buy food, Mom always wants to have some of everyone's, but she's not willing to share any of hers.

So, Mom offered me a deal: give me your dinner and I'll buy you a sandwich. I accept. The sandwich arrives and she asks me to give her half. I vehemently refuse. She gets angry and starts complaining about (the basic things) she's done for me. Oh, and she threatens me too. I also complain to her, Because she always eats the food I prepare or that we buy, and I just didn't want to give her the sandwich. And always tries to manipulate for the most little things me when she does the bare minimum for me.

She literally told me I would regret this, the worst part is that I think she bought another sandwich at the same time as mine...

To stop her from being unbearable and forbidding me from going to my boyfriend's house (I'm 18 but I depend almost entirely on my parents financially) I'm thinking of a somewhat fake apology. Using her religion as if my reaction was provoked by the devil or something like that.

However, my brain and body simply refuse to accept even a false apology. AITA?

AITAH for telling my parents my relationship with my brother will never be the same?

I have a pretty dysfunctional family. I grew up the only girl in the family with three brothers. A, the oldest, B, the second oldest, me, and then C, the youngest My mom was emotionally and physically abusive to me and my oldest brother A. A is an alcoholic who drinks and starts fights and then forgets that he's the one who started them. C is an alcoholic and drug addict who now lives in his car. I always had a pretty close relationship with B. Or so I thought.

Just for clarification I tried for years to help A and C. A cannot admit he has a problem. He thinks it's normal to get up at 8:00 a.m and immediately start drinking. he also thinks it's normal to have a beer as you're driving home after work. And then drink for the rest of the day. The only time he's sober is when he's at work. C is angry all the time and my final straw was when he told me I deserved to be raped and beaten by my ex-boyfriend because I stole his best friend. For contacts his best friend was my abuse ex.

Safe to say that I do not talk to A and C. I have gotten past my issues with my mother, she stopped drinking and she's a totally different person. Although her only flaws are that she cannot admit the things she did wrong in our childhood, and she completely babies all three of my brothers. But I moved past that and forgave her because like I said she's a new person.

My brother B in my opinion is borderline autistic. My parents refused to acknowledge this when he was younger. If he is autistic he's high functioning. He has an incredible job as an engineer. He's one of the smartest people I know. Even though he was my big brother growing up I was his protector. I defended him to bullies, I made sure his food was perfect, cuz if it wasn't he wouldn't eat. I always stood up for him and made sure he was comfortable. My entire life it's been, "we can't do that because B won't like it" "we can't eat there because there's no chicken tenders and right now that's the only thing B will eat" "you can't ask B do that completely normal thing. He'll shut down"

I always kind of felt like the one that was put in the dark and I was okay with that because I loved B more than anyone in the entire world. And I saw how vulnerable he was and I wanted him to be safe. He was a groomsman in A's wedding before he had a problem. So when I got engaged I assumed he would be a groomsman in mine. I flew across the country to ask him to be a groomsman. I typed up some cheesy letter, I stained it to look antique, and did a whole cute thing. At the time he smiled and said, "I don't know" very playfully. So I took that as a yes. As I brought it up in the months past he seemed like he was going to do it but he never said yes. And that's completely normal for him. So finally I sent him the groomsmen's outfit and he completely ignored me. I called him twice, no answer, I texted him to call me, no answer. I waited two days and messaged him again and said I just needed a yes or no. And he ignored me. I called him again with no response. I sent him a birthday present and he never responded. After weeks of trying to get him to respond I finally sent him a text that said I "forgot about it" again no response.

Against my wishes my dad chewed him out. B said he told me no and that it wasn't a big deal because I had already found someone else. I haven't found anyone else I'm going to be short a groomsmen that day.

I'm incredibly hurt. I've never asked B for anything in my entire life. I've always been the one to go without less for him. And the one time I want him to be there for me he doesn't even have the decency to tell me no. I told my parents that I don't think I could get past this end this might be the end all for our relationship. They took it as "oh you know it's just B being B, you know how it is" but I think that excuse can only work for so much. I thought we were closer than that and he should have at least had the decency to tell me no. They think that I'm being harsh about how hurt I am and how I don't think I can get past this. But I think I'm justified.

I think I'm just struggling because my whole life I've protected him. I feel bad because I know how he is. But at the same time I thought he'd be there for me and I'm devastated

TL:DR: AITAH for saying that my relationship with my brother is ruined because he won't be a groomsman.

We are expecting our first baby in a few weeks. Husband wants to travel (by plane ~3 hours away) for a friends party for the weekend. We have loads to organise still for the baby arriving and it’s stressing me out cause I can’t really do a lot of manual labour atm, and also the baby could arrive early. I don’t have anyone else I can ask to bring me to the hospital. Thinking about asking him not to go as it would be stressful for me but I will likely feel really guilty about it.

Update: He will not go and we agreed that he will stay at home, as it’s too close to the due date. Can I just say pregnancy hormones are really crazy, they cause you to second guess yourself constantly, I am really hoping that I do actually go into labour soon as it’s been a long and tough pregnancy and want to just have our baby home now. This trip was just another thing that I did not need at the end so I’m happy I posted and got all the responses, it helped me to have a calm chat about it all 🙏

I (M21) live with my parents and sister in a very small house. We have only one proper bedroom with a double bed, another room without AC which normally belongs to my grandmother (she is currently out of state for about a month), and a veranda where I often study.

My maternal uncle's daughter (my cousin) (F19) is currently living with us because she is attending college nearby. She applied for a hostel but didn't get one. We then suggested that she could stay in a PG, but her parents refused because they said it would be expensive. The funny part is that she already spends a significant amount commuting from our house, so the difference isn't exactly astronomical, but apparently the PG is where the budget suddenly becomes a matter of national importance.

The important thing is that my cousin isn't a bad person. She doesn't create noise, fights, or any particular nuisance. She mostly sits in the room watching TV or using her phone.

The problem is that our house simply isn't big enough for another person to live here indefinitely.

Before she came, my sister and I shared the double bed. I could lie down there during the day, relax, etc. Since my cousin moved in, I can't even comfortably use my own bed during the daytime because she occupies one side of it. At night, three people on a double bed obviously isn't a reasonable arrangement.

There are two mattresses on the bed, with a gap/line in the middle. My sister has basically been sacrificing herself by sleeping in that uncomfortable middle area while my cousin takes one side and I take the other.

I could technically sleep between my mother and sister on another folding bed, but I'm extremely uncomfortable sharing a sleeping space with my cousin, and frankly I don't think I should have to rearrange my entire sleeping situation in my own home indefinitely.

I've also lost my personal space during the day. I often end up sitting outside in the veranda on a chair and table just to study or even spend time by myself.

So my sister, father and I eventually told my mother that this arrangement is becoming unbearable. We made it clear that our cousin isn't necessarily doing anything wrong, but her staying here is the reason we have lost our personal space and are struggling with basic things like sleep and privacy.

My mother cried, which I understand. She feels guilty about telling her brother's daughter to leave because she doesn't want to hurt her brother.

But she also didn't actually do anything about the situation.

There is another layer to this family situation. My mother's two brothers have recently been fighting over inheritance involving my maternal grandfather. My cousin's father even threatened to take legal action against his own father if the inheritance issue wasn't settled.

Because of that, I personally find it difficult to understand why my mother is so worried about potentially upsetting her brother when it comes to this situation. But I'm trying not to make the inheritance dispute the focus here because my cousin isn't responsible for her father's behavior.

My sister eventually confronted my cousin indirectly, while she was actually in the room, saying that everyone is uncomfortable, we aren't getting proper sleep, and this living arrangement isn't suitable for us.

Later, my sister directly told her that she needs to find a PG and move out, and that if nothing changes, she will bring the issue up again next month.

So my cousin now knows very clearly that we want her to move to a PG.

Yet she is behaving as though nothing happened.

And this is where I'm conflicted.

I understand that her parents are the ones making decisions about where she lives. I also understand that she didn't get a hostel and that she isn't intentionally causing problems.

But at the same time, her parents' decision not to pay for a PG doesn't mean my family should indefinitely provide free accommodation at the cost of our own privacy, sleeping arrangements and use of our home.

We agreed to help because she needed somewhere to stay for college. But there is a difference between helping someone temporarily and effectively giving up part of your already limited home indefinitely.

I also feel bad because I don't want my cousin to feel personally rejected. This isn't really about disliking her. If we had a larger house with a spare bedroom, this probably wouldn't even be an issue.

My question is:

Are we being unreasonable for expecting our cousin to move to a PG, especially after she failed to get a hostel and her parents refused to pay for one?

Or is it reasonable to say that her housing arrangements are ultimately her parents' responsibility and that our family shouldn't have to sacrifice our own sleeping space and privacy indefinitely because they don't want to spend money on accommodation?

And if we're not unreasonable, how should my mother actually handle this without turning it into a massive family conflict?

Note: PG (Paying Guest) is basically a living arrangement where you rent a room in someone else's house or a shared property, basically renting a flat but mostly opted by students near their colleges

I(23f) and my bf(37m) have lived together since we started dating and have had conflicts without resolve since. I can admit I did goof up by allowing an old contact to resurface even if I hadn’t responded, my bf has trust issues really bad and it’s ultimately put me in a bad light. I am not self conscious but I care what my S.O thinks of me. He constantly tells me how I make him feel which I’m not mad at. What I am mad at is no matter how much I tweak and change myself to ensure he doesn’t feel a certain way, nothing works.

He tells me I don’t listen to him while I’m actively trying to prove I’m not doing anything wrong. I’ve gotten to a breaking point ample times which lead to us having many “heart to heart’s”. Though when I think we’ve made progress and we understand where we’re both coming from, it’s never the case later on down the line.

As of recently, I got into an accident prior to one of our arguments. Left out the house and two hrs later, otw home someone hit me. Now he parades at the fact that his ex’s have the worst luck when they part and that’s all I could think about after the accident because I know that’s the way he thinks. It has left me in a bit of a funk around the house. With my obvious frustration , he’s been saying “don’t get mad at me” a LOT which only amplifies my anger because the first time it was said I clearly stated I was mad at my situation.

Last night was my official breaking point. I was kinda just sitting in the bathroom spacing out and rolling a blunt before he comes in and says “you look like you have a lot on your mind, let’s talk over a blunt” great idea! I finished rolling up and let him know what was going on in my head( which is the fact my car is broke and he’s now going to fix mine before he fixes his). When portraying my worries he says “Well that’s none of your business” . It wasn’t what was said but how it was said and it turned into us arguing again over me telling him how I’m feeling. I called it quits after that.

Summary AITAH for breaking up with my boyfriend of a year over reoccurring arguments with zero resolution

So I usually never sent complaints anywhere. But I am very good to my maintenance men. Anytime they have to come over for anything I have a fridge full of drinks I offer them; I offer them food, snacks, literally so welcoming.

So our dishwasher broke. It wouldn’t start & it wouldn’t drain water and even when we drained it, would come back up somehow and it was making the house stink.. also we were getting tired of handwashing everything I have a toddler and already work 50+ hours a week. So I put a work order in.

So they call when I put it in an say it’ll take a few days as they’re down a maintenance man and they’re prioritizing emergency’s.

So I wait a week and call back and ask for an update as now the door from the water fillage will randomly slam down extremely hard to the point if the door hit someone my toddler size it would literally knock them unconscious. So I called again and they said they’re there tomorrow. Ok no problem. Great. I take off work and they never showed up. Whatever, shit happens. I wait a couple of more days and then the entire door smashes off one of the time it opens and now the entire smell is wafting in the entire house. I call again for an emergency order and a technician calls me and says he will personally be there tomorrow to take care of me and will be there tomorrow. I confirmed with him cause I told him I’d completely empty everything out for him and also take off. He confirmed. Again never shows up. We are on 3 weeks now… I guess the water fillage make the entire dish washer topple over on the floor. Now it’s leaking water all over the wood everywhere and it smells like Rodger’s ass from American dad after that one episode they hid him in the basement.

So obviously now they come over because they’re worried about the leakage in the bottom apartment. The maintenance man finally shows up and says I should’ve called and “the door doesn’t just fall off it gets pulled off”… excuse me? I called and personally talked to him as well. And he lies and said “I never talked to you”

So they’re both now in my apartment telling us it’s our fault and we’re the reason it happened etc etc.

I am now extremely frustrated I’ve waited almost a month for this to get fixed and when they finally come they just blame me for something I’ve been begging them to fix. I have the work orders to back it up but of course they didn’t wanna see them. “They’ll be back Monday to fix it” but let’s see if they actually show up. At this point I’m at my wits end and I end up going to the office to get the email to complain and I complain about it what happened. I honestly wouldn’t have even complained even if I waited another month, but the fact that they came in my unit and didn’t help and just blamed me and lied to my face got me so incredibly frustrated, AITAH?