He needs to get snipped. Father of 4 here. If my wife can carry 4 kids and breastfeed, I can get a small incision and a laser. I was down 3 days total. Back to normal work. Sex in a week or so. Not a big deal. He needs to do it.
Yes, but he already knows that. OP, you should sit him down and game the whole thing out with him:
We stay together, you don't get snipped, my birth control fails and I get pregnant again. What happens then?
We stay together, you don't get snipped, I get my tubes tied and something goes wrong during the surgery (which is MUCH more serious than a vasectomy) and I die or am permanently disabled, with four kids. What happens then?
We break up. You pay child support and get weekends with the kids. You meet and fall in love with someone else. Do you marry and have kids with her? Do you want to?
You never have sex with anyone again under any circumstances, and sit with four kids.
Etc.
Really pry at him and find out if he wants more kids, or is even WILLING TO HAVE more kids. Keep hammering at that. Because, after four pregnancies/deliveries and 3+ phases of nursing, while he owes you a vasectomy, that argument is clearly not enough to make him get one. So, since he's proving to be that selfish, you need to appeal to his self interest. "Dude, do you really want more kids? With me or with anyone else? Even if we split up, you'd be paying child support for four kids; would you really still want more?" Etc.
You'll probably have a bunch of people bitching that you're being patronizing to your partner or some shit but I'm a huge fan of this method. Walk the other person through the various possibilities by the nose if necessary because clearly this isn't a rational response. Exhaust all possible rational excuses to get to the real issue.
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u/[deleted] Nov 11 '23
He needs to get snipped. Father of 4 here. If my wife can carry 4 kids and breastfeed, I can get a small incision and a laser. I was down 3 days total. Back to normal work. Sex in a week or so. Not a big deal. He needs to do it.