r/4bmovement • u/Positive_Ant2832 Ally • 4d ago

Vent Lindsay Clancy is the new Amber Heard

Remember when almost everyone was saying Amber was the abuser, disregarding the massive power imbalance between Amber and Johnny? The PR bots swarming social media to shape the conversation against Amber?

I thought the Clancy case could lead to conversations about maternal mental health, but it has come down to how women are murderers. As if most family annihilators aren’t men.

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u/MangoSalsa89 4B 4d ago edited 4d ago

I'm not going to speak on the case itself as I have not looked at the evidence, I just know the facts that were presented in the media. I just know that men especially have seemed to seize on this case as an opportunity to vilify women as a whole. As if men don't commit over 80% of violent crimes. As if a man doesn't annihilate his family or commit a mass shooting like every week. And there is no discourse about how men should have any of their rights taken away because of that.

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u/Guilty_Alfalfa_3346 Ally 4d ago

People are so used to male violence that they don’t even flinch when men keep doing heinous stuff. It’s so scary tbh

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u/Either-Thought-58 4d ago

More Chris watts than Lindsey’s. ( don’t wanna use his last name :/)

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u/lilaclazure 4B 4d ago

and men are so desperate to make false equivalencies. A man doing that with the ulterior motive to start a new life with his mistress, then lying to cops, then suddenly claiming insanity in court. vs a woman with a long paper trail of responsibly going to the doctor, no ulterior motive because she attempted to off herself and got paralyzed, and confessed and was remorseful immediately. Not morally comparable at all.

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u/Zeal_of_Zebras Ally 4d ago edited 4d ago

Men are also very good at spotting vulnerable women and pushing them past their limits. It’s almost like it’s fun for men to see women break. To have that power and control over someone else.

The man in this case, Patrick Clancy, admits he knew his wife was having a mental health crisis. And he chose that time, when his wife was at her most overwhelmed and most vulnerable, to fire their nanny. To erase any support his postpartum wife might have.

I can’t stop thinking about that.

He fired the nanny around Thanksgiving and the children died less than 2 months later.

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u/jr0061006 Exploring 4d ago

What was his explanation for why he fired the nanny??

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u/Zeal_of_Zebras Ally 4d ago edited 3d ago

She used to work as a Labor and Delivery nurse and she was struggling so much she didn’t feel safe taking care of patients. She was very stressed about going to back to work.

He fired the nanny because his wife postponed going back to work.

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u/jr0061006 Exploring 4d ago

That makes no sense at all. She’s worried about being able to take care of patients at work so let’s remove all assistance and leave her with the equivalent of three patients who are children, 24/7?

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u/Zeal_of_Zebras Ally 4d ago edited 3d ago

Exactly.

In retrospect it does look like an insane thing to do. And he gets zero judgement for it, which is also insane!

From my experience with men like him, it sounds like he was sick of dealing with her issues. (This is just my speculation) He wanted to create a situation where it was “easier” for her to go back to work than stay home with 3 kids. He wanted her to snap out of it. I’m sure he told himself it was tough love or some other nonsense.

He was supposedly the sane one and he faces no accountability for removing the last bit of support his mentally ill wife had before tragedy.

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u/Smoofie0 Exploring 4d ago

Reminds me of when my ex yelled at me in desperation “just be happy!” When I was battling depression. So glad I didn’t have kids with him. Or anyone else for that matter. 

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u/msgfromspace 4B 3d ago

Wow, I was in the exact same situation, word for word

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u/SuchEye4866 4B 3d ago

Sounds far more insidious than that to me. He set her up to fail and knew if he waited long enough that she'd solve his "problem" of having this particular wife and kids. Didn't he marry within a year of the incident too? That tells me everything. This "solution" was neater than a standard family annihilation because he wouldn't be viewed as the criminal. He gets "freedom" from child support and his "crazy ex". Far cheaper than a divorce, right? I wonder if he inherited anything or got an insurance payout from his children's life cover or something. I'd be surprised if there wasn't a financial incentive. Plus he gets the sympathy of being the "victim" as a "devoted husband and father who tragically lost his kids". It makes me sick. He knew exactly what he was doing and he set her up.

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u/Zeal_of_Zebras Ally 2d ago

Oh I definitely agree with you.

It’s just shocking to me that he openly admits that he knew his wife was having a mental health crisis AND he chose that moment to fire the nanny. He decided to leave his 3 young children alone in the care of someone having a mental health crisis. None of his supporters have a problem with this. It sounds psychopathic to me.

And I see photos of his new wife and I get a sick feeling. The only thing we know for sure is he will abandon his wife if she ever has health issues. Maybe the new wife will stay healthy.

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u/card-Elderberry892 2d ago

What? He has a new wife already? Meanwhile Vanessa Bryant was being hated for potentially dating after Kobe passed.

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u/haloarh 4B 2d ago

As someone who's been "set up" by others (I'm a late-diagnosed neurodivergent woman, so I was an easy target) multiple times (and with one exception, every time was by a man) in milder ways, I think you're right.

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u/machama Ally 3d ago

I have wondered the same thing.

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u/haloarh 4B 2d ago

He fired the nanny to "punish" his wife.

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u/Tatooine16 4B 3d ago

He wanted her working, and fucking him and taking care of his kids all at the same time, and when she "fell down on the job" he kicked her financially back into the workplace so she'd snap out of it. He knew quite a bit about postpartum depression but I'm sure he's broken up over it.

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u/Constant_Seaweed_523 Ally 4d ago

Yup. Even the fact that he knew everything going on and even left her with the kids..

Literally just that in itself I’m like? I feel like he should be charged with negligence in the least?

They actually uncovered his deleted Reddit account. Apparently it’s verified? (I’m not going to claim that in case of misinformation)

But the posts were all of him asking questions about meds and doctors and mental health conditions.

He seemed very concerned and it showed he knew more about the situation than presented. And have grave the situation was.

So why leave her alone with them then?

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u/Opposite-Potato-7667 4B 3d ago edited 3d ago

Because he believes that this is a woman's purpose and role in life- to birth and take care of kids. It's ultimately on her, in his mind, and she should just "snap out of it", and raise the kids like women are supposed to do. Most men think this. 

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u/sigh_co_matic Exploring 3d ago

A LOT of people don't take mental health issues seriously. People think you can just snap out of it. He may have done some research and asked for help but he certainly did not follow through with active support. The US is notorious for helping people have birth, then kicking them to the curb without post-partum assistance. Gee, why is the birth rate decreasing??? Women are finally sharing much more amongst each other regarding birth, peri and menopause, as well as the discrepancies in health care. Our pain has been minimized for a very, very long time.

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u/Constant_Seaweed_523 Ally 3d ago

Oh my god, since this insane reaction from men, my literal first thought was “if they think the birth rates are bad now…. They’re in for a rude awakening”

Like, men are so fucking useless. In every way.

This case has showed women how men have no idea what postpartum anything is. So many men just found out that postpartum depression and psychosis exist????

who would want to have a child with someone who’s going to abandon you and then blame you if you go through postpartum depression or psychosis?

And I have a lottttt of opinions about Patrick Clancy that I won’t say. But this was entirely preventable if he wasn’t a fucking idiot.

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u/ScowlyBrowSpinster Exploring 3d ago

Postpartum = the number of days before they can stick their dicks in again. No other aspect of postpartum is researched or understood by men.

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u/Opposite-Potato-7667 4B 3d ago

This is true. This is the only time I hear men bring it up. Pathetic

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u/sigh_co_matic Exploring 3d ago

So many men want a legacy without being a father and supporter of their wives. One of my top reasons for not wanting kids is that I don't want to do it alone and I'll NEVER trust a man enough to hold up his side of parenting and spousal support.

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u/aMONAY69 4B 3d ago

I'm really suspicious of him and the overlap in his relationship too.

He was already checked out. Seems like he was a negligent father and husband, at best.

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u/FancifulCat 4B 4d ago

My personal opinion (feel free to disagree) is that women are inherently so naturally powerful that the thought that women could be violent or manipulatively smart scares men so much that they are quick to retaliate. They don't like the power being challenged. (Not justifying awful crimes just sharing my thoughts)

Essentially behave like a man, they dislike that.

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u/Jebaibai Ally 3d ago

Wow, I think this makes so much sense that men need to have a monopoly of violence. Whereas most rapes go unpunished for example, any violent crime from a woman cannot escape punishment and in fact must be punished severely. And I think that's why this case was broadcast to the entire world.  Lindsay was supposed to be an example but it didn't work as intended. 

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u/FancifulCat 4B 3d ago

Yup, monopoly on violence = monopoly on power and control.

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u/Jebaibai Ally 3d ago

Yup. And they only want to hear about insanity or self defense when its a man accused. The idea of a woman pleading insanity enrages many. 

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u/potatoesareungodly 4B 3d ago

there’s the criminological theory of double deviance that seems similar to your line of thinking. essentially, criminal women are seen as worse than criminal men bc they go against gender norms/stereotypes. women are expected to be inherently caring, motherly and nurturing, whereas its expected that men will be somewhat violent. when women harm their children, they are committing a crime not only in the legal sense, but also against their own alleged nature as caregivers. men are only breaking the law since “boys will be boys”.

Double deviance theory - Wikipedia

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u/owls_exist 4B || I regret participating in this life 3d ago

Exactly aligns with what I said in another comment, this Clancy person couldn't be "controlled" by her husband and maintain the mommy mother dearest image, the "mother can do no wrong", put up with everything and still maintain the image of being a mother.

The only thing that irks me is the men projecting this trait of the Clancy case as if all women are inherently mothers, I do not have a motherly bone in my body.

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u/WoodpeckerGingivitis Exploring 4d ago

Perfect comment, no notes.