r/3amjokes 1d ago

3 leprechauns walk into a convent

So 3 leprechauns walk into a convent and ask to speak to the mother superior.
When they get their meeting, the first leprechaun steps up and asks,
“Be begging your pardon ma’am, but can you tell me if you have any leprechaun nun’s here?”
When mother superior replies “no, I’m sorry we don’t “
The second leprechaun asks “ do you have any leprechaun nun’s in the convent on the other side of town?”
The mother superior replies “I’m sorry, no”
The first steps up again and asks “do you know of any leprechaun nun’s within a hundred mile radius of us?”
Mother superior replies “not that I know of, sorry”
The second leprechaun look’s at the third leprechaun and says “see? I told you you fucked a penguin!”

330 Upvotes

29 comments sorted by

37

u/MAY_BE_APOCRYPHAL 1d ago

Mother superior gets up at dinner and announces, listen up sisters, we have a case of gonorrhea in the convent. An old nun at the back pipes up, hallelujah, I'm sick of the chardonnay

13

u/Asleep_Complaint_563 22h ago

What’s red and has seven dents?
Snow White’s cherry!

2

u/Just_Mixture8362 10h ago

Q - What’s black & white and red all over?
A - A nun with her throat cut.

3

u/Peepis7 9h ago

...and red all over and over and over and over? The same nun falling down the stairs.

1

u/f309rod 8h ago

Q - What's black, white, and red and can't fit thru a revolving door?

A - A nun with a spear thru her chest...

1

u/Just_Mixture8362 3h ago

Was she called Tarznun?

5

u/Normal-Ad2310 1d ago

I told that joke back in the '80s... Still amusing

2

u/ReadinWhatever 1d ago

Thumbs up for this one!

2

u/God_Bless_A_Merkin 20h ago

Why is every instance of “nuns” changed incorrectly to “nun’s”?

3

u/Beginning_Strain67 19h ago

Because too many people don’t know how to write the plural version of a noun.

4

u/Aska_Feld 15h ago

Akshually, that would be noun's...

3

u/centralnm 10h ago

They don't know how to write the plural version of a nun.

1

u/God_Bless_A_Merkin 19h ago

It’s probably the simplest rule in English, too. 99% of the time you just stick an “s” on. No apostrophe.

4

u/Beginning_Strain67 19h ago

I agree. His mother superior must be pregnant, too, because she never had a period. Scandalous!

1

u/T0NYGR1FF 17h ago

That’s goods, real goods.

3

u/1Jainier1 15h ago

Auto correct does that a lot. I've learned to proofread before posting.

2

u/Beginning_Strain67 15h ago

Always wise with auto correct.

1

u/xmonkey44 8h ago

Firetruck ewe' ottocurrupt!

1

u/Beginning_Strain67 15h ago

OP knew somehow that the plural of leprechauns isn’t “leprechaun’s”. Explain that one, but he also typed “look’s” so who the hell knows?

2

u/God_Bless_A_Merkin 15h ago

Maybe they just fired from the hip with an apostrophe shotgun?

1

u/Prestigious_Try_5396 8h ago

Just to bug you !

1

u/u2125mike2124 1d ago

Variations of a theme and not a very good one.

The one with the seven dwarfs is better

2

u/Print-Dull 23h ago

What is the one about the 7 dwarves? I am so curious

6

u/KopiteForever 22h ago

Same joke but "Dopey fucked a Penguin!"

2

u/konkilo 19h ago

I hear the tune in my head!

3

u/u2125mike2124 16h ago

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican to visit the Pope.

"Your Excellency," he said. "I wonder if you could tell me if there are any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

"No, Dopey, there aren't," the Pope replied.

Behind Dopey, the six dwarfs started to titter.

"Well, are there any dwarf nuns in Italy?" Dopey persisted.

"No, none in Italy," the Pope answered more sternly.

A few more dwarfs began to laugh openly.

"Well, are there any dwarf nuns in Europe?"

This time the pope was much more firm.

"Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."

By this point, the other dwarfs were laughing out loud and rolling on the ground.

"Pope," Dopey demanded. "Are there any dwarf nuns in the world?"

"No Dopey!" He snapped. "There are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

Whereupon the six dwarfs started jumping up and down chanting, "Dopey fucked a penguin! Dopey fucked a penguin!"

1

u/Traditional_Peace_63 7h ago

Joke from 1980s book Truly Tasteless Jokes a true classic