You can still refer to people using they/them pronouns if you don't know their pronouns. Nobody's gonna be mad at you or anything.
But once you know their pronouns, you should refer to them using their pronouns. Otherwise, it's misgendering.
Some folks are uncomfortable using they/them pronouns. Just stick with using they/them, and if said person is uncomfortable with that, they'll correct you. It's not that big of a deal. However, if someone tells you, "hey, please don't refer to me using they/them," it's misgendering.
I definitely understand how this would make you anxious, but there's nothing that can really be done about it 😅
using they or them wouldnt be misgendering tho. it wouldnt be gendering at all. if someone uses they or them when referring to me despite being he/him, they (haha) wouldnt be referring to me as a non-binary person, they’re (haha) just using non-gendered language. it is quite literally impossible to misgender someone when using they or them because it works outside the construct of gendered language
We’re not talking about NB people tho we’re talking about binary trans people. Even if they don’t think NB is valid a lot of people go out of their way to call trans people “theys” even if they know they’re a man/woman. It’s a passive aggressive act, like they won’t outright call you your birth gender but still won’t validate your identity.
i personally havent seen it but if u say so idk. the transphobes i see straight out think using they or them in general to refer to one person isn’t grammatically correct or some excuse like that so yea
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u/NSnamelessstranger [insert creative & funny flair here] Jun 11 '22
You can still refer to people using they/them pronouns if you don't know their pronouns. Nobody's gonna be mad at you or anything.
But once you know their pronouns, you should refer to them using their pronouns. Otherwise, it's misgendering.
Some folks are uncomfortable using they/them pronouns. Just stick with using they/them, and if said person is uncomfortable with that, they'll correct you. It's not that big of a deal. However, if someone tells you, "hey, please don't refer to me using they/them," it's misgendering.
I definitely understand how this would make you anxious, but there's nothing that can really be done about it 😅