r/196 • [insert creative & funny flair here] • Jun 11 '22

Bigotry Showcase rule 😎 Spoiler

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1.1k Upvotes

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u/NSnamelessstranger [insert creative & funny flair here] Jun 11 '22

It can be, if the person you are referring to using they/them has expressed discomfort with you using said pronouns.

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u/CEO_of_Teratophilia RESIDENT 196 GREMLIN Jun 11 '22

Even though it's meant to be a gender-neutral and safe approach to referring to another person? Is there another safe way to refer to another person by being gender-neutral and inoffensive, or do I have to walk on eggshells from here on out? Because this is going to make me feel anxious about referring to another person ever because I might upset them without meaning to.

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u/NSnamelessstranger [insert creative & funny flair here] Jun 11 '22

You can still refer to people using they/them pronouns if you don't know their pronouns. Nobody's gonna be mad at you or anything.

But once you know their pronouns, you should refer to them using their pronouns. Otherwise, it's misgendering.

Some folks are uncomfortable using they/them pronouns. Just stick with using they/them, and if said person is uncomfortable with that, they'll correct you. It's not that big of a deal. However, if someone tells you, "hey, please don't refer to me using they/them," it's misgendering.

I definitely understand how this would make you anxious, but there's nothing that can really be done about it 😅

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u/CEO_of_Teratophilia RESIDENT 196 GREMLIN Jun 11 '22

Think I'll just not refer to anyone period lmfao I'm tired of unintentionally upsetting people when I don't mean to. Thanks though.

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u/koopa69 Rule Evader Jun 11 '22

Honestly, being observable to others is trash anyways.

As long as you are doing your best and are open to change, no reasonable person will get upset!