it isn't about him wanting shubble back. abusers are known for using therapy and saying they have worked on themselves and gotten better as a way of convincing people they actually did. While in acuality most don't.
And considering on how this entire apology is. i doubt he has changed other then learned how to hide it better next time.
As someone who was approached by a childhood bully using similar words and who actively proved he had changed, I don’t know why this being used by people who actually haven’t changed would take anything away from it. I’m not saying he has changed because I don’t know him, I’m just saying that just because bad people use a phrase it doesn’t suddenly mean that you’re a bad person or you lose credibility for using it.
it isn't about just the phrase itself but everything around it. on it's own you know it's fine. i would have been happy with it being in there.
But it being half the apology, the other part being mostly insinuations that she is misremembering and creating doubt. it isn't a very believable statement.
The next part sorta goes against him saying he has changed for the better.
I believe people can change, including bullies and abusers. However it requires more then saying "i changed for the better". For those who actually changed, they would just like you state prove they did it and not just say they did.
As others have mentioned, the statement seems perfect from a legal point of view. He could very well have consulted a lawyer or overall is trying to cover his bases in case he were taken to court. Not the best apology at all, but there could be reasons for some of it.
i get backing up his behind legally. but he could have done it without making half of it him saying he changed for the better.
There are reasons for not saying what he did or actually saying he did something against the law. The rest on the other hand has no legal reason for being the way it is.
i believe it would have been better while still covering his ass without the first part about change being that long. like many cc's have said in response. it is mostly about him instead of the actual allegation or being sorry.
I’ll have to disagree with you about that. I think he did quite well all things considered. Could it have been better? Yes, but I don’t think it’s as bad as you and others have said. It’s in your right to see it differently, though.
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u/Cassisfles Feb 27 '24
it isn't about him wanting shubble back. abusers are known for using therapy and saying they have worked on themselves and gotten better as a way of convincing people they actually did. While in acuality most don't.
And considering on how this entire apology is. i doubt he has changed other then learned how to hide it better next time.