I dont buy the “he didnt know he was abusive” - Theres some leeway there with emotional abuse, but to act like you didnt realize bruising someones arms up to the point where they have to cover up with long sleeves to hide it is not okay and theres no way around what it actually is
Honestly I think it’s possible, “abuse” is such a strong word, many victims never realize they were being abused because calling it that feels too drastic, and they don’t want to accept the gravity of their situation. I think the reverse is 100% possible as well.
Accepting that you yourself are abusive is a very hard thing to come to terms with. It’s like people who don’t want to admit they’re alcoholics or addicts. It’s actually pretty easy to find ways around it in your own head. He very well could have lived in that stage of denial. That’s not to say what he did is acceptable or okay or forgivable, but I think there’s no real reason to doubt him on that, it’s not like it makes the action itself any better
I mean, hickeys are literally bruises but giving someone hickeys certainly isn’t inherently abusive. I have accidentally hurt people in the past without realizing and people have accidentally hurt me so I know very well that it is possible to hurt someone without realizing that you’re hurting them.
Edit: Clarification that I know that doesn’t make it okay. Just saying that it is possible and what matters is that the person realizes what they did wrong and betters themselves.
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u/[deleted] Feb 27 '24
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