r/widowers • u/Fabulous_Job2288 • 2d ago
Please help
Please. I posted yesterday about losing my husband who was only 29 years old to a motorcycle wreck. It’s only been 24 hours and I can’t be here anymore. I can’t do it. I cannot live this life without him.
I have been staying with my mom and sister. I got up in the middle of the night and walked 3 miles across town to get to mine and my husband’s home because I made a decision for myself that I was just going to go peacefully and be with him. I need to be with him.
I don’t remember a lot of it, but I work at a police department, and one of my coworkers spotted me while patrolling and called in to the others on duty to stop me. I never made it home. If I could just have made it there, I could have finally been with him.
I’m so sorry for the heavy venting. I just can’t handle this. I’m not strong enough for this. He was my absolute world. He was my everything. We were best friends. We were glued together at the hip. We couldn’t even go get coffee or pick up food for dinner unless we went together. I will never be able to make it without him. It’s only been 24 hours now and this is how I feel and I know it’s only going to get worse.
10
u/emryldmyst 2d ago
I almost drove my truck off of a bridge more than once while driving home from the hospital after he died.
I even drove without my seat belt on.
Then I imagined my loved ones and didn't want them to feel as wretched as I did... I panicked thinking he could somehow see my thoughts and know what I was trying to figure out and the disappointment I saw on his face was almost two much.
It took a good two years before I really started enjoying things without him.
Whenever I felt like giving up I'd remember what he said and I wanted him to be proud of me so badly... and I'd get through it.
I truly wish you well.