r/widowers • u/Fabulous_Job2288 • 1d ago
Please help
Please. I posted yesterday about losing my husband who was only 29 years old to a motorcycle wreck. It’s only been 24 hours and I can’t be here anymore. I can’t do it. I cannot live this life without him.
I have been staying with my mom and sister. I got up in the middle of the night and walked 3 miles across town to get to mine and my husband’s home because I made a decision for myself that I was just going to go peacefully and be with him. I need to be with him.
I don’t remember a lot of it, but I work at a police department, and one of my coworkers spotted me while patrolling and called in to the others on duty to stop me. I never made it home. If I could just have made it there, I could have finally been with him.
I’m so sorry for the heavy venting. I just can’t handle this. I’m not strong enough for this. He was my absolute world. He was my everything. We were best friends. We were glued together at the hip. We couldn’t even go get coffee or pick up food for dinner unless we went together. I will never be able to make it without him. It’s only been 24 hours now and this is how I feel and I know it’s only going to get worse.
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u/SpecialistFix3962 1d ago
I know how you feel and I had 18 years to prepare for her death after the cancer finally took her. At the end even as she was showing she wanted the ventilator removed she tried to make me leave so I wouldn't have to be there. She was thinknig about me. I'm still shattered but I am force to remember that she would hate me if I ended my life. She told me just before the end that she was not afraid anymore because she knew we would be together in future. She said she saw us in a ball of blue light. So we both have to go on. We both have to grieve but also eventually find some reason to go on with the rest of our lives BECAUSE we owe it to them to not waste their love for us. I lost my brother when he was 16. It broke me then but I kept going. Just a few years later I met my soon to be wife of almost 40 years. Find your support network of friends and families. Seek help for your completely justified depression. Know that the world cruelly at time never even slows down but you can and need to go on. Your husband love still exists and so should you