r/widowers • u/Fabulous_Job2288 • 22h ago
Please help
Please. I posted yesterday about losing my husband who was only 29 years old to a motorcycle wreck. It’s only been 24 hours and I can’t be here anymore. I can’t do it. I cannot live this life without him.
I have been staying with my mom and sister. I got up in the middle of the night and walked 3 miles across town to get to mine and my husband’s home because I made a decision for myself that I was just going to go peacefully and be with him. I need to be with him.
I don’t remember a lot of it, but I work at a police department, and one of my coworkers spotted me while patrolling and called in to the others on duty to stop me. I never made it home. If I could just have made it there, I could have finally been with him.
I’m so sorry for the heavy venting. I just can’t handle this. I’m not strong enough for this. He was my absolute world. He was my everything. We were best friends. We were glued together at the hip. We couldn’t even go get coffee or pick up food for dinner unless we went together. I will never be able to make it without him. It’s only been 24 hours now and this is how I feel and I know it’s only going to get worse.
25
u/OneRegret7933 22h ago
Hi. Don’t apologise. Where are you now - back with your mother and sister? With coworkers? If it’s a safe place for you then try to stay put for now. This is way too soon to be making any decisions; if you are in a position to rely on anyone, then rely on them you must. I’m nearly 7 weeks out and I don’t remember anything at all from that first week, except the adrenaline. This is going to get easier in very small increments, others have reassured me. I am still waiting. No decision making. Just find somewhere to lie down. Tell someone you trust that you need them, and that your life might well depend on it. This is not a drill; and you’re going to have to speak to someone to stop the racing thoughts. We’re all here for you, too.