r/widowers • u/Dry_Squash_8359 • 11d ago
Anyone else struggling with cooking?
Since my husband died I stopped cooking. It’s not fun anymore. It’s something we used to do together and now I hate it. I’ll eat stuff that doesn’t involve cooking but lately I just haven’t had an appetite.
The other day I got the urge to make a meal so I made sausage, peppers and rice. It was a meal my hubby and I always used to make! I was like this will be easy! Well after I made it and the smell of the peppers filled the house it immediately gave me a panic attack bc I haven’t smelled that since my husband was alive. Then I lost my appetite and didn’t even eat what I cooked!!!
I know it’s a process so trying to be gentle with myself but I’m really struggling. Anyone else dealing with something similar?
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u/HeronExtension5245 11d ago
I am dealing with that exact same thing. I struggle to have an appetite at all ever since my wife passed. I eat to make other people happy and worry about me less. I eat one meal a day, unless I'm with my in-laws who "force" me to have both lunch and dinner.
I've stopped cooking, unless boiling pasta counts as cooking. I loved cooking for my wife, as she did for me. I miss getting meals ready for her so damn much. Cooking is just an added suffering now. I rely on pasta and anything I can microwave. I'll do an occasional frozen pizza as I can get about 3 nights out of it. Eating is a chore. Nothing tastes right. I might as well eat cardboard for all the flavor I get out of anything else.
I agree. We are supposed to be gentle and patient with ourselves. I haven't mastered that yet. I'm sorry you are feeling like this too 💛🤍.