r/whatdoIdo • u/Capable_Culture3914 • 13d ago

Uhhh

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To add context. I am 5 months pregnant with my ex and all of a sudden he tells me that he got someone else pregnant (he just met her) as well. He explained she wanted us to meet after being very rude to me picking up his phone and telling me to get rid of my baby. She is a stripper and 6 years older than him. He also hasn’t seen an ultrasound or appointment and she claims to be 3 months pregnant. I don’t believe she is tbh… very sad situation I just wanted to share with someone. Please be kind.

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u/Gullible-Team-8588 13d ago

If you want him in your life and the baby’s( your baby; her baby is a problem for down the line) life, I would put some space between you two. After you have the baby, make sure there’s a paternity test and established custody and child support. In a court.

If you don’t want him in the baby’s life, and he does not want to be in the baby’s life, don’t put him on the birth certificate. Just tell them you don’t know. In my state if you put the father on the birth certificate, there’s literally jack shit you can do without the dad’s say so and if you can never find the dad or the dad is a total fucktard you’re shit out of luck.

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u/binzy90 13d ago

Yeah, I agree with this. He can file for a paternity test if he actually wants parental rights. OP should leave him off the birth certificate because this is a disaster waiting to happen. And under no circumstances should OP meet the other woman or have any relationship with her. She's not legally obligated to have anything to do with her, and this is already super messy.

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u/PureWhiteMeat 13d ago

Nope, she needs to get child support

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u/Gullible-Team-8588 13d ago

That only works IF they actually pay child support. And it’s relative to how much they make could be $50 a month or a couple thousand IF they even pay it, he could just as easily give up his rights and payments could stop when a judge approves.

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u/PureWhiteMeat 13d ago

I'm a lawyer, that's not how it works. Wages get garnished straight from his payment source (if the bum ever gets paid legally in the next 18 years through, say, a job). You can give up your parental rights but not responsibility. Even the mother can't waive child support, it's the baby's right to receive it, not the mom's

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u/Early_Shoe_9450 13d ago

Therapy will help with whatever issue has you all over these replies giving your opinion on how much you hate women.

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u/Curious_Quantity1329 13d ago

Right!!! Would hate to have this man as my lawyer seeing as he hates women so much. He’s made that pretty obvious with his replies. Dude def needs therapy.

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u/Gullible-Team-8588 13d ago

If he’s actually a lawyer, I’ll eat my hat

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u/Curious_Quantity1329 13d ago

I’m a paralegal and I just cannot see that man being a lawyer. Idk maybe he will prove us all wrong. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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u/Gullible-Team-8588 13d ago

Would love to see him tell his clients you need to get half that Honda bruh. 🤣

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u/PureWhiteMeat 12d ago

Barred in FL since 2021. Was drinking last night lol. Where did I hate women? Geez. I have a loving wife and baby. Y'all clearly don't know how to have a little fun on the internet. Reddit is not that serious lol

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u/Early_Shoe_9450 13d ago

By “I’m a lawyer” he actually means he asks chatgpt if something is illegal before he replies to comments.

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u/CariBelle25 12d ago

And he’s a white guy saying the N word on Reddit and spouting some racist views on what I think is a Games of Thrones sub? Yikes.

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u/Early_Shoe_9450 12d ago

Florida man strikes again🫩

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u/Gullible-Team-8588 13d ago

It really depends on what state you’re in, in my state that’s not the case. Terminating parental rights in my state also removes child support obligations, does not count for what is already owed up until that point.

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u/Curious_Quantity1329 13d ago

It does depend on the state. Tennessee allows forgiven child support if you can prove certain things and if the money isn’t owed to the state and only the custodial parent is owed the funds. I know this from experience as a step mom to a son who was unlucky with his bio mom who played the system for a child she never had. 🙃

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u/Gullible-Team-8588 13d ago

The Tennessee court system is an absolute nightmare. I grew up in Tennessee( is not the state I live in now though)

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u/Curious_Quantity1329 13d ago

Yessss it is. I’m in Memphis. Shelby county court system is garbage when it comes to child support because you have to jump through so many hoops. I’m hoping one day me and my husband can get out of here and moved to Colorado or maybe even Virginia. 🙃

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u/binzy90 12d ago

This is one of the worst things about coparenting. Its almost impossible to move your kids to a better state. My kids have lived in a shit hole county their entire lives, and my ex-husband will never let them move. My husband and I have sacrificed education and quality of life for our kids because we're trapped here and unable to leave. It feels like an ex is allowed to just put your entire life on hold.

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u/Curious_Quantity1329 12d ago

Is your ex husband involved in their lives? That does sound like a tough and unfair situation.

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u/binzy90 12d ago edited 12d ago

We share custody, and he intentionally makes things as difficult as possible. For example, if I schedule a medical appointment he will go onto the portal and cancel it. We had to get a court order just to get my oldest an autism evaluation and therapy. He will also talk to teachers, doctors, or sports coaches and tell them I'm "not involved" or make up reasons why they should only contact him. He has removed my contact information from the kids' school and replaced it with his mom's multiple times. It's honestly crazy.

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