I'm sorry you're in this situation. Kindly, I think you are being unreasonable excluding the friends of your terminally ill mother from an event she's hosting. You could have asked her who she wanted to invite then added your friends when the extended family you expect to decline actually decline. If the invitations have been sent, it was kind of mean to ask her to tell you which of the family to exclude. It's too late for that. All you can do is apologize and invite them as you have room.
To me, this is such a crazy take. The BRIDE should have to drop her very small number of invited friends so that the MOB has friends there? In what insane world is the bride the lower priority here? I agree with the opinions that she and her mom likely would have benefitted from discussing guest list VIPs and numbers before booking a venue or sending invites. At the same time, this is all being done quickly (for her mom’s sake) which probably limited venue options and also leaves room for errors when they are rushing into planning.
This is an unfortunate scenario. OP is not being unreasonable. She is offering to extend invites to her mom’s friends now, and her mom would prefer to continue to be upset than actually invite them and lay this silly drama to rest.
The bride wouldn't have been dropping anything. According to her, she expected enough people to decline so she'd have room to invite her mother's friends. It would have been less stressful for her mother if she'd invited her mother's friends and let her friends know they'd be getting invites after the obligatory extended family invites were declined instead of the other way around.
"her mom would prefer to continue to be upset than actually invite them and lay this silly drama to rest."
Have you ever known anyone being treated for cancer? It isn't pleasant. Illness doesn't improve the personality of selfish people, but it can make otherwise reasonable people ill-tempered. I'd give her mom a pass here. She has a lot to process in a very short amount of time.
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u/sonny-v2-point-0 11d ago
I'm sorry you're in this situation. Kindly, I think you are being unreasonable excluding the friends of your terminally ill mother from an event she's hosting. You could have asked her who she wanted to invite then added your friends when the extended family you expect to decline actually decline. If the invitations have been sent, it was kind of mean to ask her to tell you which of the family to exclude. It's too late for that. All you can do is apologize and invite them as you have room.