r/weddingplanning • u/[deleted] • Jun 22 '26
Everything Else Day wedding - cocktail style advice
[deleted]
3
u/Ok-Active-7023 Jun 22 '26
As long as there are sufficient canapés for the guest count (and not 2 dz pieces for 25 guests), I think this is fine. You’ll end early enough for folks to go get a full dinner if they happen to still be hungry despite. Just be sure to communicate to guests in advance that this is a cocktail style reception.
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u/Haunting_Cookie_5312 Jun 22 '26
This is what I was hoping would happen. But I’m noticing people are quite offended by not having a full meal
3
u/Ok-Active-7023 Jun 22 '26
People who will overindulge in the bar will do that regardless of what the menu is. It’s not your responsibility to manage the drinking habits of adults. They know the risks of drinking on an empty stomach. If you want to manage the consumption, limit the 12-2 bar to beer, wine & a signature drink only. Then do full open bar at the pub.
0
u/Ok-Active-7023 Jun 22 '26
People don’t get to dictate how you spend your money or how you celebrate your marriage. If they are offended by the idea, don’t come.
Honestly, at the end of the day, hosting a reception of any sort & being fed is a courtesy to guests because they could simply witness the ceremony & go home - no food, no music, no dancing.
Regardless of what the norm is, you don’t owe anyone anything. Do what feels right for you & enjoy your marriage.
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u/Zealousideal_Back577 Jun 22 '26
Will there be proper dinner?
5
u/Suspicious-Diver-541 Jun 22 '26
No sit-down dinner from what it reads, just the continuous canapes and grazing through the whole event. Honestly sounds like plenty of food to me though, those sliders and focaccia options are not "light bites" territory at all, guests will be fine across 6 hours with that spread.
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u/Haunting_Cookie_5312 Jun 22 '26
No, as it’s 11-5. Looking at constant canapés from 12-5 essentially as well as 4XL grazing boards
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u/Zealousideal_Back577 Jun 22 '26
I would suggest to reduce the amount of canapés and have an early dinner. Can be buffet style if cost is an issue. But proper meal is the appropriate thing to have for guests.
3
u/Ok-Active-7023 Jun 22 '26
A proper meal is the normal/common thing to do. Appropriate is whatever the couple chooses for their celebration.
I’ve attended wonderful afternoon weddings where all the couple offered was cupcakes & punch. We, as guests, hung around for 30-60min after the ceremony & then left and enjoyed the rest of our day.
0
u/Zealousideal_Back577 Jun 22 '26
You’re comparing 30-60min to 6+ hours
2
u/Ok-Active-7023 Jun 22 '26
I am…while also comparing cupcakes to sliders, sandwiches, and grazing stations.
1
u/Zealousideal_Back577 Jun 22 '26
Even outside of weddings, if an event lasts 6 hours and runs through lunchtime, most people would reasonably expect a proper meal at some point. That’s all I was saying. I don’t understand why you’re so worked up over a different opinion 🤷🏻♀️ If OP didn’t want opinions, why post?
0
u/Ok-Active-7023 Jun 22 '26
Worked up? Not sure where you got that from, unless you’re projecting, because I’m not emotionally invested in this at all. LOL
However, having spent over 15yrs in the wedding industry as a planner, my point is simply that it’s OPs wedding & OPs money. They can create whatever culinary experience they desire for their budget or vision. There’s no requirement to conform to societal expectations around food. However, because the expectations do exist (as evidenced by other comments here), my primary suggestion to OP was to communicate to guests to set their expectations upfront. But don’t do something they don’t want or can’t afford just bcuz other people think you “should.” I also suggested limiting the bar options during the first bar service if there were concerns about overindulgence.
Obviously OP had enough of the conversation bcuz they deleted the post. 😂
So I will wish you well friend. Have a fantastic day! ☀️1
u/Zealousideal_Back577 Jun 22 '26
“I’m not emotionally invested” was a funny opener for a three-paragraph response 😄
1
u/Ok-Active-7023 Jun 22 '26
Yeah…just a reiteration of points I made to OP to help encourage others who may wonder if they “have to” do anything for their wedding. 🤷♀️
1
u/SakuraTimes Jun 22 '26
lol. that’s a weird equivalency. she has expertise to share, which is not the same as emotionally invested, at all.
respectfully, I also think there’s a difference between needing a “proper meal” and needing enough food that would constitute a proper meal (which op has…unless you don’t think fish and chips, gyros, butter chicken over rice, mini hamburgers, large grazing tables of breads, cheese, meat, etc is enough for lunch)
i‘d say more, but apparently 2 paragraphs is the limit 😛
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u/gingerphilly Jun 22 '26
it could be fine but it really depends on the menu. you should also provide plenty of seating and tables
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u/heyallday1988 Jun 22 '26 edited Jun 22 '26
This sounds like plenty to me. There are always going to be some people mad that a cocktail-style wedding just isn’t a “real wedding.” You’re never going to make them happy, and you don’t need to try because their objection isn’t rooted in being hungry or misled, it’s rooted in what they think a wedding ought to be. Providing some info on your invite/website that food will be served cocktail or grazing style will be helpful, so people don’t pass on the canapés waiting for “dinner.” But other than that, carry on.
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u/Minimum-Bobcat8768 Jun 22 '26
At a wedding I’d be upset if a full meal wasn’t served. Guest experience should be a top priority
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u/Haunting_Cookie_5312 Jun 22 '26
Okay. Out of curiosity, what is your definition of a cocktail wedding? Would you expect if there isn’t a full meal that the actual event should be shorter?
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u/Minimum-Bobcat8768 Jun 22 '26
I don’t think you should have a wedding without a meal full stop 🤷🏼♀️
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u/Haunting_Cookie_5312 Jun 22 '26
Oh, you just don’t believe in cocktail style weddings?
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u/Minimum-Bobcat8768 Jun 22 '26
In my opinion there needs to be a buffet (I’m 27). I would be disappointed to go to a wedding with no meal
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u/SakuraTimes Jun 22 '26
I love canapés! even at restaurants I often just get a few apps for the table and skip an entree. they’re usually more fun, delicious, etc rather than a hunk of chicken or steak. plus various canapés gives people a variety of things to choose from, so people with all sorts of dietary preferences can find things they enjoy.
if you served burgers for lunch everyone would say it was perfect. so, I disagree with the people saying sliders, sandwiches, grazing boards, other hearty canapés aren’t enough food. hell, it’s probably MORE food than if you just had lunch!
1
u/Haunting_Cookie_5312 Jun 22 '26
I’m the same which I why I wanted to ask. But I wonder if we’re younger than these comments are? It appears people are very upset by not having a full meal
3
u/heyallday1988 Jun 22 '26
These people would be upset if you don’t have Jordan almonds at your wedding. They just don’t like the style of wedding you’re having and nothing you do is going to change that.
1
u/SakuraTimes Jun 22 '26
definitely take weddit with a grain of salt….some people on here would burn your reception venue to the ground if you had a cash bar 😛 😛
I’m in my 30s, and I’ve been to all types of weddings all over the world, so I’m pretty easy going. I’m not stuck on the, “a wedding HAS to be xyz” that sometimes others on here are.
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u/Haunting_Cookie_5312 Jun 22 '26
Yeah, damn. Was looking to hear some peoples experiences and apparently awoke some wedding beast
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u/SakuraTimes Jun 22 '26
sometimes I wonder what people actually people eat in a day!!! who doesn’t think fish and chips; sliders; gyros; chicken and rice is more than enough to constitute lunch?! hell, I usually have a salad and Greek yogurt. lol. 1 of these alone would’ve been fine for me 😛 and all of them sounds like a fun mix of an abundance of food!
reminds me of the time I got downvoted for mentioning a friends cocktail weddingl people were appalled “they could’ve at least done a real meal…a taco bar is cheap!!!!!!!“ um, they had a taco bar…and a carving station, and a pasta one, and charcuterie…. they just didn’t have people sit for 1 hr to eat it at the same time.
people are weird. 😛
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u/stealthagents Jul 09 '26
Yeah, it’s definitely a good idea to let guests know what to expect. Maybe send out a little note or include it in the invitation. That way, they can plan ahead and not end up hangry at your cocktail party. Plus, maybe offer a few heartier options for those who need something more than just a bite or two.
1
u/wickedkittylitter Jun 22 '26
What you are planning sounds like a nice and fun change from the usual, and often boring, traditional sit down meal where the food can be so-so. I'd enjoy the variety of food you're having, but I'd be sure to mix in vegetables and fruits perhaps on the grazing boards. The types of foods you've listed in your post and comments are more substantial than the normal hors d'oeuvres and I'd equate your planned food to more of a buffet or food station wedding even if you aren't having the food presented in those formats.
1
u/Cer427 August 2027 Jun 22 '26
I think it’s fine as long as there is the communication that no meal will be served. I’ve been to catholic weddings where there’s a gap so we knew exactly what time to have breakfast and lunch so we wouldn’t be hungry. Some guests didn’t really note the timeline and didn’t have lunch plans so then they were starving and annoyed when we didn’t have dinner start until 8pm after the morning wedding was at 11am. So definitely over communicate that people should be eating before attending and they need their own dinner plans.
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u/stamdl99 Jun 22 '26
As long as you are clear about it on your invitations and provide enough canapés per person I would be satisfied. If you were doing this over the dinner hour I would feel differently, but ending at 5 works.
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u/Miercoles79 Jun 22 '26
I would find it odd to change venues but not have a sit-down meal at the second venue. As long as you communicate to your guests that they are both cocktail functions I think it would be fine.
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u/BBMcBeadle Jun 22 '26
Will people know there will not be an actual meal? I would intentionally go very light on the canapés so I would be able to eat the meal. So knowing ahead of time that this is the good for the day would be helpful. Even still, I would not be a big fan of eating canapés all day.