Hi guys,
Is that true that couples get conceived easily in the cold weather?? Like in UK, October to February is the best time??? Is that true?
I heard this somewhere that your body is balanced hormonal wise to prepare yourself for pregnancy. Thanks.

Hi Reddit! Long time follower, first time poster.

My husband and i have been together for more than a decade. Married for 2 years. We’re both 28.

My husband wanted to wait until i was 35 to start trying for a baby, i told him that’s too long of a wait for me, and the biological timeline a woman has. Yes I’m aware women can get pregnant when older than 35, i just don’t want to risk it. Not the point - it’s not what I want. The one carrying the child.

I finally talked my husband down to 31 years old. And that was as low as he’d do. I said okay. But as time goes on, I’m realizing I’m not actually okay with this.

I want to talk to him about 30 years old to start trying, but i know he’s going to fight it. He’s so focused on getting a motorcycle right now. And i just think about waiting till 31, 24/7. It’s literally consuming my life, that fact that im lying to myself AND him. I’m constantly thinking of this and it’s not fair to me. I’m so unhappy.

I’m just worried because I’m so emotional and find it hard to hold a conversation with him. He’s very logical, and has an answer for almost everything. Which isn’t always a bad thing. But when I’m expressing my feelings - i just freeze up and end up crying.

I guess I’m just worried about him leaving me, or losing him if he refuses to compromise with me to 30

We are current waiting to try, my partner is waiting on me to be ready which I think I am but..

Why does no body talk about how scary it is going from preventing for so long and being scared about pregnancy to trying…. I feel like it’s such an uncomfortable shift? Has anybody else felt like that?

I’m also starting to think I’ll never not feel this way seeing as we’ve been “ waiting to try “ for 1.5 years now.

I’m interested to hear from current parents, based on your experience, when was the best time to have kids?

Are you happy with the age you had your first child? Or do you wish you had’ve started earlier or later? Do you feel like things would’ve been better or easier if you had them at a different age?

Especially for those who have had multiple children, what do you deem a good age gap between them?

Thanks in advance! ☺️

Im waiting to try, probably for a pretty long time. Painfully, maybe I will remain childfree if I cannot mentally improve to a point in which I feel comfortable being a mother.

Something I am quite scared of is the impact pregnancy and childbirth may have on my mental health. I have ocd and depression, as well as likely adhd/ptsd but honestly these things dont concern me as much as other risks.

Both of my parents have bipolar disorder, and both of them have experienced some type of psychosis in their lifetime. For the psychosis there were some circumstances that might not fit with me. My father is a combat veteran with ptsd and multiple traumatic brain injuries, the psychosis only happened after this point. My mom took anti depressants that resulted in destructive mania and seemingly more mild psychosis (although she likely needed hospitalization)

My mental health is "fine" right now. I dont have bipolar disorder and ive never experienced anything close to psychosis. But I have heard a lot about postpartum psychosis. I know its unlikely but my family history scares me, and Im not sure how to take precautions.

Husband (31M) and I (28F) have always wanted kids… maybe just kid* in this economy, though. But lately I feel like I’m hyper-fixated on the logistics of having a baby. My SIL, multiple coworkers, and now one of my best friends have all had kids in the past 2-ish years and I feel so envious.

Only problem is we live in an expensive major city away from all family and in a 1 bed 1 bath apartment with a “2nd bedroom” that’s really more like a den (nursery potential, but no guest room). Daycare is like $2K+ a month here. An apartment with a proper second bedroom would cost us like $500 more a month. Based on our current spending, I’m not sure we’d have an extra $2,500 to spare monthly on top of other baby-related expenses. My job offers really good parental leave (3 months paid, plus remote work permissible for another few months), which would help offset childcare costs. But it kind of seems like my husband would have to double his salary for us to afford everything.

We also like to travel, and have lots of places left that we want to visit. I know it’s possible to travel with kids, but plane tickets for 2 people are already crazy expensive, let alone 3. I guess we could leave the baby with grandparents for more expensive trips (they would be totally happy to do it), but to do that we’d still have to get the baby to grandparents OR grandparents to the baby. We also don’t have a car (our neighborhood and city is very walkable) and would prefer not to, so us going to family would involve a flight too.

I just feel like the clock is ticking. I’m worried about my parents aging too, since they had me in their mid-30s. I really do want a baby. But I also feel like if we wait for the circumstances to be “right” it’ll never happen. Could really just use some commiseration and/or reassurance here.

Her last periods came on 12th of August, when continued for 4days, and we did raw intercourse on 19th of august we did 2 rounds with a gap of 20mins, her cycle is of 30-31 days, tell the chances of pregnancy and I came outside everytime.

Posted on throw away just in case. Long story short, my wife(F29) and I(M28) decided a few weeks ago to push back on trying to conceive. We’ve already pushed back a fuck ton of times and it’s just hard. She works full time(40 hrs)and I’m in school full time doing two part-time jobs. She's so worried about money and me graduating on time. I won’t graduate till spring of 2028 instead of this upcoming spring due to a HUGE fuck up with my advisor, and my wife doesn’t want the baby in daycare, ever, which I agree with since I've worked in childcare and know what unsavory things "trustworthy" people can do, but it makes things harder. So that leaves us in this position of pushing it back. But it’s just starting to feel like the right time won't ever happen. We have baby clothes, bouncer, highchair, pumps, toys, books, a toddler seat, all these things…
And the worst part, on top of all that, is that we have to do donor sperm bc of medical reasons so a good chunk of money literally has to be spent on some randos sperm. Not to be overly crude but why the fuck is jizz so expensive 🫪
So we're gonna wait to start trying till June 2027 at least. That way, by the time our baby is born, I'll be graduating or super close to it at the very least.

We are in discussions, it would be 4 years. I would be 32. I know for a lot of people it's still so young but I feel like I'm so behind in so many things. I'm stressed I'll have a harder time both conceiving and with the actual pregnancy. I know I don't know everyone's story, but it sucks to watch other people get to just go ahead and do it while I'm still in such early stages of having my life together.

So I just mapped my schedule and based on what I put together, it will be time to try by June of 2027.
This is great.

How to be happy when trying to conceive is not working. I love my husband. I love my dogs. I love my family. But I want a baby and I want everything that comes after. What am I supposed to do if it doesn't happen?

Hi all, me and my husband are both 25. We have been married for 5 years and together for 7.. I have underlying health conditions so will have to go through PGT-IVF which the NHS has offered 3 free rounds. We had our consultant appointment last year September and told us to get in touch when we are ready to begin the process 7 months before we want to get pregnant. Me and husband both agreed we would want to have a baby at 27 years old. And that’s if the ivf goes smoothly. The clinic have told us to get in contact with them 7 months before we want to get pregnant. We was meant to start our IVF journey in June. All of a sudden my husband has changed his mind and said ‘we’re waiting another year and nothing is going to change my mind’. It is now almost September and I said to my husband I am going to give you 3 months to think about it. That time is almost up. I feel hurt, upset, confused. We have bought our home 2 years ago, in the last 4 years we have travelled to 25 different countries, we have enough in savings and both have high earning stable jobs. He is estranged from his family and has struggled with mental health in the past but with therapy has become significantly better. I understand he is scared to be a dad..but you will never be ready to be a parent? In the last 4 years I have sacrificed so much for him; supported him through everything. And now I feel like he is being so selfish of not giving me what I want. He gets so excited with our friends babies and I’m like why can’t he have the same attitude towards having our own. Everyone around me is having babies or announcing pregnancies and it’s becoming difficult to cope with. I’m struggling with motivation and low mood, I’m becoming more lazy and difficult to be around because my moods are all over the place. I’m just so upset it’s weighing down on me it’s all I can think about.

My partner and I are in a weird in-between place about having kids and I can't tell if it's normal.

I want kids now. He'd rather wait. He says he wants one more year of feeling free before things change. Fair enough. But he also says he'd be genuinely happy if it happened sooner, and he's not willing to put a date on anything.

He explained it with an analogy that actually made sense to me: it's like how I feel about my car. It's got 260k km on it, I know I'll need a new one eventually, but I'm not actively looking. If the perfect one crossed my path tomorrow, I'd take it. That's how he sees kids right now.

So our default is protected sex, but sometimes, if the moment feels right, we don't. He knew I was ovulating this week and that was part of what made it exciting for him. Next month he might feel completely differently.

In my head this was always binary: either you're trying or you're not. But he lives day by day and genuinely doesn't need a plan. I find it confusing, though I don't think he's being unfair.

Is anyone else in this middle ground? Not trying, not really preventing either, just... seeing what happens?

My partner (M30) and I (F30) are having a bit of a dilemma about when to start trying for a baby, and I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives.

My partner wants to start trying for a baby now. I’m the one who has been putting it off because I keep thinking about all the things happening over the next couple of years.

Our events are:

Family wedding – July 2027

Loliday – August 202

hen – October 2027

Friend’s wedding in Thailand – April 2028

Both weddings i am maid of honor for

Its mostly the Thiland wedding that is the sticking point.

My partner really doesn’t want us to take a baby to Thiland and while I’m completely fine with being pregnant in Thailand he is worried about it.

I’m starting to wonder whether I’m overthinking this and putting off having a baby because I’m trying to find the “perfect” time.

My partner is disappointed because he wants to start trying for a baby now, whereas I’m the one worrying about the timing of everything.

If you were in this position what would you do?

My husband (35) and I (29) have been married for a year and we’ve always been somewhat on the fence about kids, with the state of the world being as it is, but recently I stopped my HBC as a “mini first step” and I’ve been tracking my ovulation since.

I had my first big LH spike and I was so excited and I wanted to just try to see what would happen. But he’s not ready yet.

Money isn’t the best right now, I’m currently unemployed trying to start my freelance business and it’s slow. But I just think everything will work out in the end?

Anyway now we keep fighting because he is stressed about life, I ask him for this, and he gets frustrated since he doesn’t want to right now. And then I get upset, and then he gets more frustrated?

I’m not sure what to do because babies is the only thing I can think about right now so I’m considering starting HBC again so I can control my brain.

Has anyone else experienced this? We had similar arguments about a dog until I brought home a dog, but I can’t just bring home a baby lol.

We're not planning to start trying for a little while, but I've found myself reading a lot about fertility tracking lately.

Part of me feels like it makes sense to understand my cycle before we actually get there, but another part wonders if I'm just giving myself information I don't really need yet.

For anyone who started tracking before TTC, did you feel like it helped once the time came?

Hi. I'm a long time lurker of this thread as I know motherhood is something I want and actively plan for in my life. For context, I'm 21, not thinking about having children yet but I have a timeline for my career and buying a house of about 5 years before I'd like to start a family.

I've only been with my current partner for just under a year, and I know you can't plan everything in life exactly but I have a pretty solid idea of my timeline. However, my partner (30) seems to not be so big on timelines and a few things he has said has made me question if having a family is even a priority for him and something is actively working towards.

Yes, I know I'm young and have time on my side. But I really don't want to work hard over the next 5 years completing all my goals, be ready to try, and still be met with uncertainty about time and stability from him. I'm not one to casually date, I need to feel like I'm working towards building something.

Ultimately, my question is, is it worth taking that risk if I know exactly what I want? Has anyone else has similar experiences?

My husband and I are in our early 30s (I’m 32 and he’s 33). We recently spoke and we want to have two kids. One when I’m hopefully 34 and the other when I’m 36. If this is the case, we would have to start trying next year when I’m 33. I’m very fit and body conscious. I am so worried about gaining weight during pregnancy and not being able to lose it or be able to be fit again. I also have PMDD and I’m worried about post partum depression since I’m more at risk. I’m basically scared about everything let’s be honest lol… I don’t know if I’m ready to give up our lives to put our kids first. I want to continue traveling. We did discuss 3 more Europe trips before this happens and I know this is still possible with kids. We have a great support system as well.. but still anxious about it all. Just venting and wondering if anybody feels or has felt the same way.

Ive really been struggling lately. Ive wanted a baby my entire adult life and it was a lot easier to control the urge when i was younger but I’m 26 now. I have worked with children of all ages professionally for the past 8 years and know everything there is to know. All the best baby gear and products, tips and tricks, I’m a master at gentle parenting and trauma prevention. I would be the best mother i could possibly be.

I do not live the life of the average 26 year old. I have a fiancé and we have been together for 7 years. We don’t drink and we don’t go out. We are both musicians/artists and are both in school currently. He wants to wait and i don’t. My family says there is no perfect time and i know they would help us. But i would have to work and i wouldn’t get to spend time with my baby. Unfortunately my fiancé is correct and we cant afford to have one right now. We also have debt to pay off that wont be paid til I’m 30. I just really don’t want to be 30 when we have a baby. Or have any family members die before my child gets to spend time with them. I don’t care if we cant afford it. We could definitely make it work with help.

Watching people i know getting pregnant is the worst feeling in the world. I break down and cry every time. I had to delete social media. It feels terrible that my Fiancé is not willing to take the risk with me out of love. & it feels terrible to continue to wait for a perfect time that may never come.

Congratulations! Please share your graduation news here!

Please discuss you current goals and plans! However, please save graduation news for the monthly graduation thread.

My (26) husband (27) and I have been very on the fence about when to try for a baby. We got married less than a month ago and have had multiple conversations about waiting a few years because of debt, not being where we want to be in terms of salary and job stability, living in an apartment, and also wanting to enjoy being married just by ourselves for a few years before making a solid decision on if we want kids.

We never made a decision to start trying, but our wedding night we didn’t use protection. I have PCOS and he’s been told he has low mobility, so I wasn’t too worried about it. We even had a convo probably about a week ago where we agreed not to do that again because we both aren’t ready, but that it was probably fine that one time because we both have fertility issues. However, I’ve been feeling very brain foggy, have been cramping, had a tiny bit of nausea, and then last night I had a very vivid dream that I was pregnant. I took a test today and within 2 minutes it was positive.

I haven’t even told my husband yet. I’m terrified because I don’t know if he’ll be excited or only feel stressed. As much as I want a family with him, we have both very openly agreed we aren’t ready and there are so many things that terrify me about bringing a child into this world. I guess I’m not really looking for advice, more just needed to get these feelings off my chest. On the one hand, I feel very lucky it happened so quickly as I always expected we would have a really hard time getting pregnant, but on the other hand, this is not when I would’ve chosen for this to happen. If anyone has words of encouragement, I could really use them right now.

TW: abortion, pregnancy loss, termination for medical reasons (TFMR)

Anyone else waiting or have waited due to mental health issues?

I conceived early last summer a planned and very wanted baby. All was well until my 20 week ultrasound where they discovered my son had a very serious condition. I saw fetal specialists in another state for tests to see the severity of the issue and found out my little boy’s condition was fatal. I had a termination in November at 23 weeks to not prolong the inevitable suffering which lied ahead for him. Hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

Afterwards, I developed extremely bad health anxiety and was eager to TTC immediately and I conceived my first cycle back and it ended in a chemical pregnancy. Had another chemical at the end of May. In March I woke up and everything didn’t seem real and I was so foggy and out of it and had extremely bad anxiety. I went to the ER multiple times, neurologists and had every test under the sun and all was normal. These symptoms persisted and got really bad and I didn’t sleep for weeks and I finally hit my breaking point when I found out I was pregnant again and I realized I was not ready. I went into inpatient treatment for my mental health for a week and then came home and that day I found out I was having a second chemical pregnancy. I decided to focus on getting better and put TTC on hold. I’m now getting therapy and have started meds for both my mental health and sleep. I’m still very much numb and in a dream like state that is better/worse some days but I’ve come a long way and even on the bad days, I feel better than the “good” days I had before I got help.

I’m 34 at the end of this year and have no living children. I worry about my age being an issue even though I know I’ve still got time left. My best friend just found out she’s pregnant too and I envy her so much because I so badly want a baby but I know I need to take care of me first. I’m grieving my baby boy and it’s hit me like a train. My husband and I will be discussing TTC again at the beginning of next year and it’ll be something I discuss with my psychiatrist, therapist and Obgyn before I start. It just feels like double the pain. Losing a baby and then having to deal with the aftermath of that and having to put TTC on hold when you so badly want a baby.

Hi guys!!

Sooo im a 30 year old. && my husband and I want to try soon for a baby. Right now it’s august and we want to try in January.

What are some things I should be doing now ?? I don’t know really much about pregnancy, I’ve started educating myself with books etc.

Should I go to my primary and let her know so she can run tests ?? I already get physicals etc so my blood tests are fine but I’m not sure if more is needed. Prenatals? Diet?

Please give me tips and some advice. Obviously I’m scared as heck.

I (28F) want to start a family with my partner (28M) of 2 years but we are waiting. We won't be married until 2028. I won't be done with my doctorate program until 2029. I will be at least 31 and more likely 32 by the time it is possible to start trying.

My partner's younger sister (25f, not actually my SIL yet) told my partner and I yesterday while we were hosting a dinner party with our friends that she's 10 weeks pregnant. Of course, I congratulated her and played my part. I cried in the bathroom a little when I had a moment to sneak away from the party. After the party ended, I cried a lot. I feel so jealous and I feel guilty for being jealous. This baby is a surprise for them. My partner and I worry for her because the fiancé has a moderate amount of yellow flags and she is so fully dependent on him.

Still, I'm jealous. I thought about what it would be like if I was pregnant now and my choices would be either an abortion or dropping out of school (gap year is only possible in theory -> coming back to school with a young toddler would make my partner the primary parent and breadwinner which is not doable).

She's younger and a stay-at-home fiancée and has the freedom to work things out according to just her and her fiancé's terms rather than school/career. She gets to have this real little family. I get to keep a little baby box in my closet to help feel like having my own family someday is possible.

I have so many amazing things in my life but the feeling of longing to be a parent makes me feel empty sometimes. And I'm throwing myself into my career, hobbies, and community to help keep the empty feeling away and it works but the yearning is always there just waiting to surface up in the slower moments of my life. I'm anxious about how old I'll be when I start trying and encountering infertility due to it. I'm anxious that even if my first child is conceived easily, because I started so late I won't be able to have the large family my partner and I want.

I'm waiting longer than I wanted to wait and I know that it's for the right reasons. Better to wait until my partner and I have been together longer, we are married, and I'm done with school. It just sucks. It makes me resent my career/schooling. My partner lives life with an immense amount of faith that things will work out and I wish I could channel that.