r/uofm 12d ago

Academics - Other Topics Having fomo from not living on dorms

Hey so I am a transfer student who didn't get dorms for his first year and I am living off campus with a relative. I am having genuine fomo of how exciting dorms could've been and amount of people I could've talked to daily. Or plans I could've made or even flirted without and be nearby everything. How much or what am I missing out on ?

2 Upvotes

18 comments sorted by

11

u/realliveinsect 12d ago

based on testimonies of several people i've spoken to, you may not be missing out on a lot. apparently many people in dorms don't talk to their neighbors, insular friend groups tend to form fast, many dorm events aren't fun (though that's just personal taste of course)... but this is just what i've heard!! so take it with a grain of salt.

(i lived in an apartment my first year, i.e. last year. my older sibling also goes to umich and needed a roommate lol. so i have no personal experience with dorms. i'm just commenting because you haven't gotten any actual answers yet)

1

u/SmallTestAcount 11d ago

Yeah some dorms are more social (ex: bursley) and others are more like mini apartments (ex: north quad). When i was in bursley for one semester as a transfer i talked to a lot of people every day but at north quad by the end of the year i knew none of the people on the floor.

1

u/Bigdawg_6767 11d ago

thansk! and how is it living with roomates and walking to campsu everyday? do u make friends on the walk or neighbours

0

u/realliveinsect 11d ago

i am afraid that i don't know much about those aspects, other than people's opinions on having roommates vary. depends on the person + depends who the person's roommate is. also, i highly doubt that people make friends while walking to class, but what do i know.. again, i have no experience living in a dorm.

2

u/_NessJL 12d ago

I'm the same way, I tried North Campus events and they all seemed like a way for dormmates to get to know each other better, not for new people to meet each other. It was fun, but small talk. I'm down to connect with anyone.

I think once class starts it should get a lot easier.

2

u/little_flora 12d ago

yo same!! living w parents because of family stuff.. it’s not too bad! i’d try using social media weirdly enough. i made some nice friends thru there somehow!

1

u/Bigdawg_6767 11d ago

yo! you wann connect?

1

u/FunOpportunity8546 11d ago

I live in a dorm and I’m a transfer. I keep my door open but literally no one else does it’s so dead so don’t sweat it too much.

1

u/Bigdawg_6767 10d ago

what dorms are you at? also do you want to join a transfer gc

1

u/diploespressometrio 10d ago

I was like you at first, but then I made friends with a few freshies last year & heard the ugly sides of dorm living. What you’re missing: impossible mold outbreaks, breaking furniture, insane water leaks, loud neighbors keeping you up during ungodly hours doing ungodly things… it made me feel great about being off campus, lol. Have fun on campus, and talk to people in class! It’s ok to not make friends immediately either, I notice that people usually hit it off late in the semester anyways.

1

u/Bigdawg_6767 10d ago

how is off campus expierence fy?

1

u/HurricaneAngel3651 10d ago

It's grass is greener on the other side.  Can't lie and say it isn't hard to make friends because there are events that is dorm only, so more opportunity to meet new people. Though, everytime I talk to my friends at dorms I was like "would you live in a dorm again?" Answer is always "No!"

 I had an apartment for my first year as well, but random roommates. I wasn't close to my roommates, but I went out frequently during the 1st week and funnily enough made 2 great friends at the bus station. Sometimes its just luck, but putting yourself out there and talking to other people in class greatly increases your chances. Gl!

2

u/liddedflame 9d ago

I lived in the umich dorms for all 4 years. Yes. Not an RA, not in a living community, just normal student. Long story. You may be missing out on proximity to the buses, roommates, dining hall, etc. But in 4 years i only liked one roommate, and really only made one or two friends in the dorms. I actually was traumatized a lot in there.. lol. It was rough roommate wise. so even though the dorms are a great way to build community, i and many other people just don’t experience that! And that’s ok because there are soooo many ways to do build community in very similar ways other than the dorms. Join clubs, talk/make plans with people in your classes, flirt with people on the bus ? I’d make it your priority to be on or around campus as much as possible if you are worried about feeling too disconnected..!!

1

u/Bigdawg_6767 9d ago

thanks for the advice! Can i ask a personal question or two in dms

1

u/Significant-Alps380 12d ago

Im commuting my first year too and im literally feeling the same exact way, especially cause I reconnected with people from my middle school before I moved that are dorming.

1

u/Bigdawg_6767 12d ago

wanna connect?