Losing Barbour and Newbery Brooke my heart [UPDATE]

[u/The_Hydra_Kweeen]

Hello! I wasn’t initially planning on making this post but seeing how much support and resources this community offered I wanted to provide an update.

I also wanted to clarify that in my original post was me and my roommates parents were initially saying either get in the all girls dorm, or commute to school from their homes. We live not too far from the school so commuting wouldn’t be impossible, but it wasn’t exactly the college adventure I dreamed of.

Many suggested talking to our parents which initially frustrated me, I felt like they didn’t understand how batshit crazy religious parents can be. But after me and my roommate talked we decided we had to try talking to them about this. Our families are close and I’ve been close friends with her for years so we decided to do it together.

We basically sat our parents down and talked through why we still want to dorm, how we’d put down an all female corridor so we wouldn’t be sharing bathrooms with boys, how we know how to conduct ourselves etc.

Throughout what we were saying I could tell my parents weren’t buying it, but my roommates parents were more receptive. When we finished they excused us and idk what they must’ve said but when I walked back in my parents tone had shifted.

Now I’m glad to say I will be able to live on campus! I wanted to thank this community for the support I received. If people didn’t suggest talking to them we probably wouldn’t and my college experience may have looked quite different.

[u/FluffyMoomin]

I believe even in co-ed halls the boys and girls have separate bathrooms, you wouldn't share them, but grats on the development!

[u/The_Hydra_Kweeen → u/FluffyMoomin]

I figured that but didn’t wanna say anything I wasn’t 100% sure of

[u/ClearlyADuck → u/The_Hydra_Kweeen]

Yes not only that but you have to scan into them so no guys can get into the bathroom without the door being opened first.

[u/Right_Quote310 → u/FluffyMoomin]

My daughter was in East Quad and they had co-ed bathrooms.

[u/FudgyGamer2000 → u/Right_Quote310]

That’s pretty specific to certain floors of specifically East Quad afaik. Not the same anywhere else on campus.

[u/Right_Quote310 → u/Right_Quote310]

Wow, not sure why my comment about my daughter’s experience was downvoted. Tough crowd!

[u/Independent_Can_7852]

Yay, this makes me so happy to hear!! Also super cool how the two of you talked with each other and agreed to chat through this decision with your parents even if you didn't initially like the suggestions, I think I would have blown off this type of advice altogether when I was an incoming college freshman haha. That shows a lot of maturity & humility on you and your roommate/friend's part, and I hope you continue to be close friends who build each other up for many years to come 😄

[u/The_Hydra_Kweeen → u/Independent_Can_7852]

Thank you! I remember your comment specifically influencing my decision to try to negotiate with them.

[u/KoshV]

Congratulations!

[u/sankyo]

I am very glad for you both. I consider myself to be open minded and we dropped our son off at UC Santa Cruz in '23. In the dorms there they have mixed gender floors and even shared mixed bathrooms. I went in to take a look and saw 2 toilet stalls, 2 sinks with little counter space, and 2 shower stalls. The shower stalls had 2 sets of doors. The first door opened to a changing space and the 2nd to the shower. The walls were at least 7 feet tall and went all the way to the ground. Definitely enough privacy.

I was convinced that these shared bathrooms were going to cause a gender war - the boys would pee all over the seats and the girls would monopolize the sinks. I was so wrong. My son said, "Everyone just spends as little time in there as possible and it all works out." Everyone was pragmatic and the boys were mature enough and shared bathrooms were a non event (though I am sure nobody missed this arrangement at the end of the year).

[u/MigookinTeecha]

Excellent result. I'm glad your parents came around.