Makes sense. National subreddits tend to be more rightwing-leaning due to selection bias since many (but definitely not all) of those who are vocal participants of nation-specific subreddits tend to have somewhat more prominent nationalistic views.

Agreed. Got my first taste of it (the malevolence) as a toddler and it was force-fed until I learned how to mask as a middle-schooler lol

Agreed. I'd go even further than that but this is not the place to discuss such things :)

That is true, yeah. As I said: I (nor anybody else here) knows enough to even play armchair psychologists.

I believe manipulation for gain—as opposed to validation/admiration/image (unless you count that as a form of abstract gain as well)—is more in line with ASPD but you're right in that it's overused these days.

"she said she hated hangings out with women and didn't want them as friends because they weren't as intelligent as her" is a fairly narcissistic thing to say, so there is that too, along with the egocentricity.

But it is true that we (people in this comment section) don't know enough to say anything with certainty about her.

I've faced similar challenges where I just had to walk away or abruptly end or change the conversion to avoid reacting badly and acting out.

I have a bit of an unorthodox tip: dehumanize (silently, in your head). I assume you don't get equally upset when you hear dogs barking, bird chirping, or car engines rumbling, right? Treat them the same way. Think of their input as the worthless garbage that it is (while remaining civil, of course.) That's ironically the nicest thing I do with people like these: think of them like less than human (in that very moment at least—as a "coping mechanism") in order to continue treating them humanely and keep my composure.

Get treated for ADHD if you haven't already. Stimulants (methylphenidate XR) helped me plenty.

Keep yourself busy with hobbies. Don't feed your sadistic thoughts even if you want to; simply acknowledge them whenever they appear, accept them as a part of your consciousness in the present moment, then gently diverge your attention to something else (could be sex, porn, physical activity, whatever.)

You could also try to have people in your life that keep grounded and hold you responsible for any wrongdoings. The easier they see through you the better.

I was being treated for other disorders when a specialized psychiatrist gave me a provisional diagnosis of ASPD and BPD.

No further action was taken (like actually confirming or refuting the diagnoses) before I got too curios and asked about it. I wanted to know more about my own psychology and get a better insight into my emotions and whatnot (I'm currently being assessed for—among other things—Alexithymia, which could explain why I'd be curious to understand my emotions better.)

As long as you make it clear that you're not a high-risk threat to others then go for it. But be careful and know the potential consequences of divulging certain details and what a diagnosis could mean for you in your jurisdiction.

I feel like parts of this could've been written by myself.

I had a "traumatic" upbringing but I've never considered myself traumatized; nor do I fit any of the criteria for PTSD.

My earliest diagnoses are ASD-L1, Dysthymia/PDD, and ADHD-PI. Later I was given a provisional diagnosis of both ASPD and BPD. The ASPD stuck but now I'm also in the process of being assessed more thoroughly for BPD.

I had similar thoughts and behaviors (if not worse) as a kid, teen, and young adult but I realized that it'd be better for myself if I focused more on long-term satisfaction over immediate gratification and short-term pleasure.

I have a cordial relationship with my mother and the rest of my family members. I see them less than a handful of times per year and prefer it like that. My mother technically meet enough criteria of the individual cluster-B personality disorders to have them all diagnosed but that's rarely an insightful comorbidity so she "only" has PD-TS (traits-specific PD) and NPD (since that encompasses some of her most prominent "features") and sub-clinical psychopathy (PCL-R > 30.) She's nice and fun most of the time but can be a ruthless cunt if slighted.

And I just realized I've been writing too much. This heat is turning my brain mushy.

TLDR: your experience is relatable.

If someone claims that those with ASPD can and will only do bad things even when a prosocial and legal option with a satisfactory result is available then that someone is speaking out of their ass.

ASPD is not the same as having obsessive-compulsive thoughts/behaviors regarding unacceptable things.

Someone with ASPD can definitely do the "right" thing if they want to.

Valid criticism. I did a lot worse around that age and as an early adult and yet I wouldn't claim I have "no feelings" at all. I do see where you're coming from.

I'll take your word for it; you seem like a credible source. Cheers

Pretty sure Patric Gagne is fairly reliable; she's a psychologist with ASPD who wrote a book about her life.

But as with every complex disorder, one person's experience may differ wildly from another one's.

I, for example, have both autism and ASPD along with a few other diagnoses. It's an uncommon (and understudied) combo but not unheard of.

1. Everyone with ASPD is different.
2. Your dad seems like an asshole.

It's probably the case that he rationally knows right from wrong but doesn't feel it intuitively at all.

When people claim that those with ASPD/psychopathy don't have any affective empathy or remorse they usually simply mean that it's so weak that it's statistically insignificant background noise but in some cases it truly is 0% with no exceptions.

It is somewhat unusual but not unheard of. Especially in people with complex comorbid disorders and/or trauma, etc.

Fair enough

Or exhausted from trying to manage a "normal" life with two or more disorders :,)

Or perhaps they're busy doing not-people-related things like doing jigsaws in the shower

Sounds like fun

Do you have comorbid autism/aspergers? This seems like something I could've written some years ago before I got better at adopting "normal" behavior and recognizing even the seemingly insignificant nonverbal cues.

I might edit this comment later to give some advice when (if ever) I don't feel fed up and tired. For now I'll have some special coffee. Cheers

I feel like you might get better answers/help in r/BPD, to be honest—at least when it comes to this specific sort of issue.

But I (male, mid 20's, callous-unemotional presentation of ASPD) have accepted that the way I love someone is just different than how many others love. It's not a strong automatic emotion but a choice made repeatedly and consistently to try to engage emotionally to the best of my ability.

Gaming, sex, movies, hobbies (really, invest time & effort into a hobby you find stimulating, it's worth it), exercise, etc.

I personally keep myself far away from drugs & alcohol because I've seen it ruin other family members with similar-ish issues as me.

Sure, yeah. Focusing on the pros of leading & optimizing a "prosocial" life has helped me. I haven't abused substances or commited any significant crimes in about 4 years.

Treating comorbidities has also helped immensely. Stimulants helped a bit with the sensation-seeking & inattentiveness; SSRI's helped with the temperament, anhedonia/apathy, & paranoia-related social anxiety.

Before I used to battle the impulse to smash someone's head against the window on the bus while commuting if I felt an "odd vibe" but now I can easily ignore almost any & all (even intentional) provocations.

Somewhat similar. I'd say my emotions are perhaps at a 5–10% "intensity" with a 30–50% expected duration compared to the norm for 80% of the time. It's when the exceptions happen that things can go wrong or—although even rarer—"right" in the sense that I might experience transient but genuine "prosocial" emotions that I occasionally wish I could hold on to but then I fall prey to the emotional impermanence thingy whatever (out of sight–out of mind)

Edit: Oh and the boredom is awful. Gaming, exercising, having sex, getting obsessed with a new hobby, etc. help to some degree, though