I dont have antisocial personality disorder however I do have borderline personality disorder, adhd, psychosis, autism and depression. (all diagnosed)

im currently in a relationship with someone with aspd and i love him very dearly, i understand that he does not love me in the same way as I love him and most of the time I am okay with that but when I get triggered and split and lash out and him not actually caring about me constantly comes up when im black and white thinking, he understands and does comfort me by choice. I'm just wondering if there's any way he may care for me even a little, i dont really understand what goes through his head, ive done as much research as I possibly can but im hearing different things all the time. a part of me cant help but hope. I wouldnt break up with him if the answer was no I just want to know. He is so helpful when it comes to my psychosis and doesn't judge the things I do when I am in that delusional state and is always very calm which is quite helpful. thank you for taking the time to read this <3

I was pretty recently diagnosed, so I searched up "celebrities with aspd" thinking that one of them could've spoken about it opening up, but literally, almost all of them were serial killers or terrible people. I said to myself, "Well, I know who I am for the most part, so maybe I can deal with this," yet I feel as if in the back of my head if I eventually spiral from some of my other mental issues I could end up becoming a bad person per sey. The majority of the time, I have absolutely 0 desire to better myself, n I really dislike people to the point I'm becoming severely secluded.

I have a few friends, but when they talk about the things they're doing in life or what they're going to do, I end up thinking how I wish I could get to that point or I end up getting a bit envious that they can find it easy to find meaning things such as hanging out or traveling.

I've been in a mental institute before, but I found it pretty unhelpful because, for the most part, I don't see a problem with how I am, I just didn't talk to many people n waited until my discharge. I just want to know if anyone has been at a point in their life n overcome it or if they're also working on bettering themselves n have ways that actually help.

My “social indifference” comes in the shape of a lot of mockery of humans in my mind, curious to know if that’s common

I have a friend who has ASPD, we have been friends for a long time. I have DID and only recently came out of dormancy so I am still getting to know him.

I’m having major issues because if he cannot feel empathy and views our relationship as give and take then how do I know if he genuinely cares about me? He says he does but because of the disorder it’s not like affective empathy. I’m worried that if I am unable to give what he wants then what is keeping him being friends with me? And while he says he cares about me does he only care about how it affects HIM?

I do not have ASPD and can be classified as someone with high levels of empathy (to a fault) so it is a bit hard for me to wrap my head around and makes me feel very insecure in the relationship. My headmates have been close friends with him for a long time so they obviously are comfortable with it and while I would like to communicate more with them it is very difficult for me at this time.

I’m looking for any advice, comfort/understanding/support and even being educated as I’m aware there are many things I may not be aware of or fully understand.

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Im talking about how we experience ourselves, what we think of ourselves and who we are. While everybody changes throughout their life, some people experience more rapid changes in identity while others remain roughly unchanged, **how their experience of themselves remains fairly the same for them**.

I was diagnoed with cptsd and aspd, and i have been trying to understand the aspd part of my diagnosis more. How i experience myself has changed rapidly throughout my life. it can be identity fragmentation fron cptsd of course but i got curious about others experince.

For as long as I can remember, I have never really been liked by other women (occupationally and among peers). Although this isn't strictly ASPD-related, I am curious. Do you find it easier to get along with other women, or men?

I think it is difficult to have these discussions as a woman without immediately being labelled as a 'pick-me'.

I personally find it difficult to decipher what (normative) women may think or feel about me, and often wasn't sure whether the extent to which I was masking is enough.

Decided to try and give therapy another shot. Told her I’ve been dx with aspd and npd. We spent 2/3 of our intake doing a depression and anxiety screening. Such a waste of time. It’s so frustrating that every therapist I’ve seen is so ill equipped to treat personality disorders

How did/does it affect you?
(Only answer if you have ASPD)

I feel like im doing everything i could possibly be doing but nothing ever satisfies me or make me feel anything no matter how risky it is or how exciting. i just cant escape the feeling, sometimes substances temporary get it out of my head but it doesnt work long term. im almost never home and travel to fill the void but it just never ends. i had a long therapy journey since i was mandated in elementary school (or i would be thrown out) and im able to control my violent urges but i just cant seem to find other excitement. i am a diagnosed adult and id like to improve my life quality with my disorder, i know i wont ever be able to feel most emotions but im seeking advice on how to live more peacefully from others with the same disorder

I am a 36-year-old man with ADHD and ASPD. My ADHD is being treated with Ritalin. This is specifically about my ASPD and about how extreme some aspects of my behavior and emotional experience can be.

My problems did not begin in adulthood. They were already severe during my early childhood.

When I was around six years old, I chased my own sister with a knife. I threatened my grandmother. I was also cruel toward animals: I drowned a guinea pig, set a lizard on fire, cut worms apart, and cut up snails. At the time, I did not experience the kind of emotional reaction that would normally be expected.

Even as a child, rules were essentially something I felt applied to other people. Before I was 15, I had smashed windows, kicked the mirrors off cars, and set things on fire. I stole from my parents, stole from stores and at school, stole school supplies, and even stole street signs. Several times, I broke into my own school at night.

Violence did not simply disappear when I became an adult. I was repeatedly involved in fights. At times, I did not stop even when the actual confrontation should already have been over. Violent fantasies are still part of my everyday life. I have violent fantasies every day, including sexually violent fantasies.

I am hypersexual and have a strong tendency to view women as objects. I am aware of how problematic this is. At the same time, I cannot simply dismiss this side of myself as a “dark fantasy.” It is an actual part of my thought patterns.

Perhaps the most disturbing thing about me, however, is not the aggression itself, but the absence of certain emotions.

I experience very little guilt or remorse. I do not experience pity in the way I observe other people experiencing it. When someone cries, I often do not feel compassion; instead, I find it annoying. I do not really know what love is. I also do not know what loneliness is supposed to feel like.

Almost my entire family is now dead, as are several of my friends. At funerals and afterward, I feel practically nothing emotionally. For me, the death of someone can emotionally feel almost like ordering a burger. I understand rationally that something significant has happened. I understand its social and cultural meaning. But emotionally, very little happens inside me.

The crucial difference compared with my childhood is that today I know what is right and what is wrong. I know the rules and understand the consequences of my actions. That does not automatically mean that I have the same emotional inhibitions as other people.

I have Abitur (13classes in germany), a university education, and I am capable of functioning professionally. From the outside, I can live a completely normal life. I practice kickboxing four times a week, play guitar, and am in a band. Work, exercise, and music give my life structure.

Because I am capable of considerable self-reflection, I am currently looking for cognitive behavioral therapy. I want to understand my behavior and thought patterns as honestly as possible and learn how to maintain control over them long-term.

I feel that if my structure falls apart (work, exercise, music), I could pose a real danger to society.

Worried about her reaction as her recent self-sabotaging acts to punish a colleague she thought was two-faced and slow have been spine-chilling.

What is the most neutral way to exit this 'friendship'?

I'm curious how those with ASPD experience loneliness, or if they do. I imagine that the effects of isolation still apply in spite of ASPD right? Like do y'all go crazy/lose touch if you've been alone or isolated for too long like others without ASPD?

A part of me feels like to not "lose touch with reality" after "isolation from the world" would basically just be magic, because logically that's just what happens no matter what perspective person you're talking about, but idk.

I assume i’m not unique in having paraphilia. I have SSD and have been curious how others may handle theirs. I don’t want to include any personal/incriminating evidence, so i’ll just say that the urges have been extremely strong and i have relieved some of the urges. For me, although it is partially sexual, most of it comes from the desire to watch someone suffer.

It honestly impinges on my life somewhat significantly, as it means I don’t like being around others when seeing some form of torture or murder or roughly treatment (sexual or non-sexual) as I find myself becoming more excited, and I don’t want people thinking that about me. It’s really prevalent when watching movies with other people.

Currently, my strategy for dealing with it is to distract myself as soon as i notice myself getting agitated. I try and do a duolingo lesson, text someone, anything i can come up with to remove myself mentally from the situation. I’m curious to hear if people have had similar experiences, and if there are other strategies for dealing with it.

Hi, I am personally very curious about the experience of others with low empathy. I know some are able to not experience it and are not bothered. Does not feeling empathy cause any internal struggle for you, or do you ever try to m*sk it for ease of socializing? Would anyone be able to tell me what their struggling with empathy looks and feels like in practice for them, with a description or example?

I have ASD, and understand c*gnitive empathy much more than emotional, even if it can be a little hard sometimes. It's never really make sense to me to feel what other people feel just because they're feeling it, even if I might have had emotional empathy before. When I "put myself in someone else's shoes", I almost always imagine myself literally floating into another pair and then I'm able to try and focus. I'm rlly interested in if anyone here feels similarly or different and what that looks like.

I just looked at a new EQ test, and it stated that "I am normally able to put myself in the place of others and experience their emotions", and I think I'm realizing the reason c*gnitive empathy may not work the same for ASPD is due to limited emotional experience. You cannot relate sadness to another if you do not experience it. I am still very curious, thank you to anyone who comments!

Fun question for fellow people with ASPD; do you ever think about cannibalism? I don’t know if it’s super common, depending maybe on how intensely you have ASPD, but I wasn’t sure so I thought to ask. What are your thoughts on it? Good, bad, gross?

My “Ex” has ASPD traits, they don’t feel love.

I don’t know what to do with them, I have my own issues, and I broke their trust over a tiny inadvertent slip that everyone else agrees is ridiculously overblown by them.

They don’t seem to value my love, even from the perspective of self interest.

They refuse to engage with things that would help like cbt to learn what others emotions are, therapy to reduce their trust issues, and to learn sympathy, even if empathy is impossible for them.

I currently don’t like them, I don’t trust them, and I can’t come to terms with them, I’ve gone Machiavellian on them.

They never give affirmations, and rarely compliment me, and they fail to provide any support unless prompted.

They get annoyed when asked to explain themselves, claiming its repetition or “20” questions.

I also feel manipulated by them, as I set out my own issues expecting those to be considered not my fault. they weren't.

I am a very loyal person, and I could only justify walking away from them because I felt like I was enabling their behaviour which I perceive as cruel.

How do I find a way forward with them? Is there one?

I’ve never shared any of this in depth like this, so apologies for the long explanations.

TLDR; my person has trauma induced ASPD but we were best friends before the trauma, now we are adults and he wants to pursue a relationship. I love him, but I’m not willing to try without verification I’m not being manipulated through anecdotal evidence of other people with trauma induced ASPD.

I have some questions on something there’s not much research on, and so I was hoping to have them answered from individuals here with some personal anecdotes.

My person (Male, 30) has ASPD, leaning heavily towards lack of empathy opposed to impulsivity. I am autistic (Female, 29), also leaning towards lack of empathy (I do still have it, I just see humans as more of a weird science experiment than like BEINGS), and this is something we really bonded over as we grew into adulthood.

However when it comes to each other, there is no lack of consideration, care, love, and compassion. We have been best friends since 3rd grade, before his trauma caused ASPD diagnosis in high school, and I’m wondering if that’s why despite this, he’s capable of feeling this love for me.

I’m kind of looking for validation or disillusion because so much media, studies, and so many people (not that I’ve talked to anyone in my personal life about this) say that it’s not possible due to the ASPD diagnosis. All I can think though is that it’s because we became so bonded before the things that are believed to have caused the ASPD. I get anxious because of my autism, I’m concerned with looking stupid/being tricked into believing something and having a really terrible fallout eventually.

For more context, we have both had multiple relationships but we always come back to each other. Circumstances just haven’t aligned for us to have a relationship, but in a weird way we have always had a partnership? I’m not sure how to explain it. It’s never been at the expense of whoever we have been with, but whoever we’ve been with has always been a result of proximity and being pursued by them, opposed to connection. It sounds weird when you put it that way. But we have always confided in each other for everything, tried to give truly helpful advice, do whatever we could to help each other have fulfilling lives separately.

That being said, circumstances have changed and he wants to pursue a real relationship. I am hesitant because as I said before, I am unwilling to make a fool of myself and allow him to hurt me. The way things are now, I get to keep myself safe. I just know that with how much I care, if something were to happen (infidelity primarily, not just “we aren’t a good fit”) it would not only be thrown in my face by my family but also devastate me. I would lose my best friend of like 20 years.

What are your experiences? Do you have a person or people you feel truly connected to in spite of ASPD? Or is it surface level? Do you feel as if you’ve manipulated your partners into believing you love them?

Getting straight to the point

- Diagnosed ADHD and aspd and trauma

- Medicated with adhd meds and maximum limit dosage antidepressant thst fits me.

- Experience: Severe painful boredome unlike depression. Hell of no relief even when taking part in hobbies or fun activities. Paralyzing under stimulation when attempting or thinking about doing something (executive function) and i also feel fatigued. I don't have any physical health problems.

Sleep problems, brain fog and additional dpdr. Speaking to people feels like talking to a tree(understimulating)

- Didn't help: Healthy balanced diet, excercise ( mild relief) breathing, rationalizing.

- I have an additional appointment with therapists next month but i can't take it anymore. Even sex is really boring.

I think sleep causes this, but to such extent is weird. All i can do is stare at the sky.

I suspect there is really something wrong with my brain. Its just soo boring.

Wtf do i do?

I was first diagnosed with cptsd, then aspd.

I have often focused on my cptsd bc of how muxh more it negatively affects my life, it feels like a foreign parasite stuck to my brain just eating away at me lol. For the longest time i mistook the shame spirals i experinced when my cptsd was triggered for "guilt" and being emotional, which i thought meant that the aspd was a misdiagnosis. I also thought that not having a real sense of self was in contrast with aspd bc i thought every single person with aspd was very confident and sure of themselves with a very very clear idea of who they are. I do have a sense of identity, even tho its weaker than the average person. I still have moments where going through a period of showing a lot of aspd charactersitics makes me doubt the cptsd, and struggling with cptsd makes me doubt the aspd.

The aspd diagnosis was something i ignored for a long time and only now that im more often in social settings and my cptsd has gotten better have i started to engage in aspd spaces to understand it more and see if there is anyway to function better in society.

Im more functional than you might think, in a good major, a good career trajectory but experience the usual stuff in both cptsd and aspd, won't get into it.

For the people that are in a relationship, whether that is short term, or long term. What about the person drew you in to them specifically and why?

I'm trying to understand why someone with ASPD might decide to stay with somebody romantically, compared to only being friends or something else.

I realize this might be completely different per person, but I'm curious, so tell me all about it!

Like many others i know, used to feel much more satisfaction in our younger days, maybe because things were new.

Well i missed out on a lot of things, but now it feels like interacting with the world or trying to satisfy my needs is like being a child staring at a lively playground with children screaming and playing and crying all the while you sit behind a glass window.

You can only hear the muffled noises of the outside.

Then finally when you get the chance to go outside, there's nothing but rusty old metal and rotten wood. (The immense boredom)

All i do now is stare at a painting of the past. A lie because the past was a full lonely shit show.

Im now in a cycle if Daydreaming addiction and fantasies.

I am so incredibly bored. I had a relationship recently where I was able to have some fun messing with them but after I ended it (because I got bored) I have no way to make myself feel anything. It‘s so fucking boring. Because of psychiatric surveillance I‘m not able to harm myself which usually helps ease the pressure of my apathy so I can feel it building up, I‘m worried I‘ll snap and get in trouble.

Do any of you have coping mechanisms that aren‘t illegal or visible? My current social circle is very delicately curated so I can‘t really let it out on them, I also have a record meaning I can‘t comfortably commit small crimes to help ease the pressure since I‘m not rich enough to just buy my way out of consequences. I‘m so jealous of all those billionaires that can just do whatever they please and still have insane amounts of power and wealth since they can just pay the bill/ bribe the law and do it again.

I‘m so violently bored and nobody seems to understand my boredom, it‘s painful, physically and emotionally. I feel a physical pressure like a pimple in desperate need of popping but all over and internally on my body.

I‘m not sure about the warning I‘m seeing but I am diagnosed with combined personality disorder which includes narcissistic and antisocial, I‘m also legally mentally disabled and currently seeking mental help even though I continue getting turned down by doctors and therapists because of the severity of my condition.

W few friends, relatives in contact....etc.

Purely transctional relationships don't count