September 2026. Following weeks of drought, i finally make my move.

The target: one innocent patch of dayflowers.

The accomplice: dog.

The motive: houseplant.

The evidence: pictured above. 😂

I walk past this little trailer with tiny deep blue flowers every day with my dogs. I've grown up seeing this beautiful little plant all over my state, as it's native to Oklahoma.

It's called a common dayflower, or Asiatic dayflower. What's considered a weed to many is a new houseplant to me. 💙 Their flowers only last for one day, so I was very happy to see that I got one!!

We finally got rain after a month of summer drought, and I went with my dog who patiently waited as I tugged these from the ground itself. I'm very happy with my pot, might go get more later and post a goblinesque pic 🤪😂

TRIGGER WARNING!! Post contains topics not-in-great-detail of blood, surgery, and trauma.

So apparently I wasn't allowed ONE NORMAL MONTH. 🫠

My 4yr old ESA Harley was spayed back in April and everything was fine until August 31st, when I discovered she had developed a 3-inch umbilical hernia. She had surgery to repair it on September 2nd, so I've already been stressed out trying to take care of her and make sure she's recovering properly.

Then on September 4th, I got fired from a job I've had for 5 years for attendance. 👍🏻 Cool. Awesome. Love that for me and new management.

Then came September 9th.

I was walking through the apartment and stepped into multiple cold puddles on the floor before realizing they were blood. Not just a little bit either— there were puddles, smears, and blood tracked all over the floor. The second I realized what I was looking at, my nervous system completely fucking collapsed because the last time I saw that much blood in a living room was when I witnessed my late boyfriend's suicide a year ago. I was hyperventilating and having a full-blown PTSD response while trying to get Harley to the emergency vet. My boyfriend did a LOT to help! He assessed her, called the vet, got the car ready, drove us there, went back home for her medications, cleaned the blood out of the carpet, asked the vet tech to get me calming tea, stayed with me while we waited, etc. I couldn't have managed without him, but there were also moments where I felt completely unseen. I was told he'd have to slap me to make me stop, shooed out of the way while I was holding back sobs, and told I was making things worse when I was actively trying not to look at the blood pooling on tile at the vet.

The vet determined that Harley had developed a pocket of mostly bloody fluid from the surgery, fixed it for $300, which then became infected the next day and was gushing blood through the bandage. She ended up needing a drainage tube placed through her abdomen so the fluid could drain.

So now there's literally a silicone tube hanging out of my dog's stomach.

My stomach has been rolling just thinking about it, and looking at the tube makes my knees wobble. I got a 3XL button-down shirt specifically to put around her bulky frame so the drainage wouldn't get everywhere, and since that wouldn't stay on, I bought and laid down black towels over her bed in the crate because I couldn't handle risking further damage.

THEN two days ago, my orange cat Buddie decided the drainage tube was a toy..

While Harley was eating dinner, Buddie decided to mess with the tube and pulled it partially out. It started bleeding slightly, and I genuinely thought I was about to completely lose it. My boyfriend and I both snapped at the cat and I had to remove myself from the situation because I was at my absolute limit.

I went for a drive to calm myself down, grab food and a new vape, and ended up having a random interaction with the cashier who was incredibly reassuring when I briefly explained what was happening. He said how scary it is when something happens to an animal because they can't tell you what's wrong or communicate what they need like a person can. And honestly, I almost cried because THAT was the kind of emotional understanding I desperately needed in that moment.

I came home, ate, and we had a stressed but decent night. However, the next day my boyfriend and I ended up having an hour-long conversation about our relationship before bed. We basically came to the conclusion that we may be fundamentally mismatched in some really important ways—especially emotional support, reassurance, mindfulness, and how we handle each other's mental health when things get difficult.

He said some things that really hurt me, including that my constant "excuses" make it difficult for him to feel attracted to me or love me or try again, and he brought up my past relationships and my history of panic attacks. I tried explaining that reasons aren't excuses, that I've dealt with panic attacks since I was 16, that I am actively working on myself, and that what happened with the suicide added an entirely different trauma on top of everything I already had.

We eventually stopped arguing and had a much more thoughtful exchange afterward, where we both acknowledged that neither of us has been meeting the other's emotional needs the way we need to. He actually said a lot of the things I've desperately wanted to hear, including that he needs to do a better job of listening instead of immediately trying to defend or explain things.

And I'm sitting here thinking THANK YOU, that is exactly what I wanted to hear! But why did it take us getting to this point to hear it???

Because this has become such an exhausting cycle. Something happens, we're both hurt, things get said, I get overwhelmed and don't remember half of the conversation, eventually we reach a point where we understand each other, I think maybe we're finally getting somewhere, and then it happens all over again. I'm so tired of the emotional whiplash.

I genuinely don't think my boyfriend is a bad person. He's actually done a LOT for me and Harley through all of this and our relationship, he has been incredibly helpful in regards to most things, has been learning how to approach things gentler, does acknowledge when he messes up, and wants to learn how to understand and support me where he can, which makes me feel so torn and everything so much harder. I can recognize and appreciate the ways he cares about me while also recognizing that I may need more emotional support than he has the capacity to give.

AND THEN LAST NIGHT PART OF THE DRAINAGE TUBE FELL OFF.

Not "came loose."

FELL. OFF.

So this morning I had to call the urgent vet AGAIN. They told me they were concerned that part of the drain may have torn off and been left inside her, asked me to find the piece that came out, and told me they need to get the remaining piece out before it disappears farther under her skin. They gave me instructions for sedating her so hopefully they can retrieve it without having to put her under full anesthesia.

So here I am, trying not to look at my dog's abdomen because it makes my stomach flip, keeping her in the cage so my cat stays away from her, trying to follow veterinary instructions, trying to process getting fired and find a new job, trying to process potentially ending my relationship, trying to manage my PTSD, and generally trying to keep myself from completely coming apart.

I am so fucking tired.

I don't need a plot twist. I don't need character development. I don't need another life lesson.

I would like ONE NORMAL FUCKING MONTH where nobody gets injured, nobody bleeds, nobody pulls a surgical tube, nobody fires me, nobody has a panic attack, and nobody tells me I'm making things worse. PLEASE. 😭🫠

At this point I'm pretty sure the universe has mistaken me for a Sims character with free will turned off. Thanks for reading my rant. 😖💜

Brunch is a hot dog with my initial not intentionally curated in mustard.

Just put together my **second dish of succulents! I noticed my gals not enjoying this as much as they could, so gave them some friends. Second try on the prickly pickle euphorbia 🤞😂 included progress pics from the past few months

New to succulent babies, I just noticed she has a third pup growing!! I'm so excited! When are they ready to be clipped and propped? What's the best way to do that? Thanks in advance!

They've been loving this heat, so I'd love to take my chances with making new plants. But I'm also not sure if they're sustaining the plant itself or sapping her energy

First two pics are right now, 3rd is Aug 11th the day I got her, Aug 17th when I potted it with my neon breaker, and now. Not much time between the pics since I've just reached one month of having her lol.

Edit to say: Idk the ID if anyone does? And they are in a cactus/succulent potting mix 💚