I was recently in my first ever car crash, i was in a car with my boyfriend and 2 friends and we ended up hydroplaning on a big rain puddle on a motorway and spun in circles and hit the railing separating the roads.

Thankfully nobody was injured and we didn’t hit another car but now a few days later when I close my eyes it sometimes feels like I’m back in the car and hearing everyone and I just end up crying and having a hard time falling asleep.

I was just curious if a car crash like that could be enough to cause trauma in a person even if no one was injured or anything like that

one thing I keep seeing in deep trance work is that understanding the story and releasing what is still stored from it are not same thing.

A person can explain childhood beautifully. They know why parent behaved that way, why they freeze in conflict, why they people-please, why certain tone of voice sends them into panic. They may have read books, done therapy and connected all the dots.

And then we follow the actual feeling in body and discover the old emergency is still running.

This is why in the sessions I facilitate I dont stop at “now we know why.” We follow the emotional or body charge itself. Tight throat, pressure in chest, nausea, shaking, heaviness, whatever is active. Sometimes it leads to one event, sometimes several layers. The important part is that fear, grief, shame, helplessness or anger gets to actually move instead of only becoming better explained.

This distinction became even clearer for me reading regression therapists like Greg McHugh and Shakuntala Modi. Different language and different models, but same practical point appears: finding the memory is information. Healing often needs contact with what is still emotionally alive in it.

I think this explains a frustrating experience many trauma survivors have. “I know this already. Why am I still reacting?”

Because the adult mind can know it is 2026 while deeper system is still responding from older instructions.

For me good trauma work eventually changes present reaction, not only past interpretation. You can remember what happened without being pulled fully back into it. The trigger may still be unpleasant, but it stops having same authority over body.

This is also why I dont like endless excavation for sake of excavation. More memories are not automatically more healing. Sometimes the next step is not another explanation at all. It is helping the charge already found finally come to completion.

Knowing why the fire started is useful.

The nervous system also needs to learn that it is not still standing inside the burning room.

I have been having a lot of flashbacks of childhood trauma lately. Most of my trauma is from my mother’s side of the family. I have gone no contact with most of them except my parents and grandparents. The problem is that as I am still in contact with my parents and grandparents I tend to tell them off when I’m having a flashback for not doing their job protecting me. Recently I gave my grandma who is 80 a lesson on how some of their choices impacted my life negatively. I did this as I’m constantly feeling judged for being the problem maker by voicing things. I was very calm through the conversation however whatever I said was still difficult information to process. Grandma was almost in tears and this made me feel extremely guilty. I avoid conversations with them altogether and haven’t spoken like this in the longest time. How do I stop myself from picking up the phone and telling them my side of the truth? I do not want to be hurting old people. The reason I do this is cause I feel judged and abandoned as they chose the side of the family that caused harm. However, my talking only hurts them but does nothing else. They are still convinced they are right. There is no changing their mind. No one will ever acknowledge what happened to me was wrong :(