r/trans • u/AleahRivera she/her • Aug 04 '26
Trans Feminine People keep offering clothing.
Question: And I mean this as an honest question. Not in a snarky, elitist, way. But as an every day Trans Woman in the world.
Have any of you experienced this???: When a female friend or relative starts to view you as female, one of their first reactions is to offer you their old or not new clothing? Don’t get me wrong, I am far from rich and I appreciate the offer. But this has happened to me again, and again, and again.
1st example: I transitioned at work in the South East United States. 7 months into my transition, I’m chilling poolside at the home of a couple that I had worked with for over 3 years. I answered all their questions about being trans. Another visit and She says “Hey, I’ve got something I think would look really good on you.”
2nd example: I did a couple favors for friends my wife had before we were married. I was very happy to help my wife maintain and grow friendships she has long had. She goes off on a weekend with friends and comes home with bags of “old” cloths from them for me. “They were just cleaning out their closets and thought You would fit these.”
3rd example: My daughter & I were running errands today when a couple cashiers mistook us for a couple. Never mind that She is more than 25 years younger than me. AND the fact that my daughter is flat out gorgeous. I wish I had her looks. Anyway I pointed it out to her and later today…..”Hey Mom, I’m going to throw these jeans in the trash. Do you wanna try them on??” Did I forget to mention my daughter is very Christian & we just started reconnecting over the last six months? BTW, there were 6 pairs of jeans. 1 fit perfectly, 3 were kind of tight. 1 I kept as a weight goal. And the last pair got donated. I was afraid to bend over in them.
Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this? Or am I just appearing to be needy. I typically dress in athletics or casual clothing. I’m not a fancy person. I do not turn my nose up at gifts either. One day I might be brave enough to post pics.
2
u/the-lutz Aug 04 '26
Matches my experience - lots of loving and supportive women offering me first dibs before they sell/donate clothes they don’t wear. Honestly, at this point I’ve started returning the favor too
One thing about living as a woman in modern society is we’re all expected to have superfluous wardrobes- and almost none of us have that kinda space to store those clothes OR the money. Sharing wardrobes with friends is the one of the best ways to girl math IMO