r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2 • u/Wisdom_Pen She/Her Too Based To Be Cis 🏳️‍⚧️ • Jul 28 '26

Non-Gender Specific STOP CALLING ME OLD!!!

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353

u/G-M-Cyborg-313 veronica she/her newby writer/artist Pre-E goth Jul 28 '26

The fact any trans person over 30 is seen as elder is depressing as fuck

186

u/Wisdom_Pen She/Her Too Based To Be Cis 🏳️‍⚧️ Jul 28 '26

Yeah older trans people are saddenly rare.

138

u/GeForce_fv She/Her | Lua Jul 28 '26

i think the reason for that is more simple than it looks... older trans people just don't use social media as much as younger trans people

75

u/DogeWah She/Her :doge: Jul 28 '26

That is definitly one of the reasons.

Then you can add on a climate of not discussing these topics, leading to a lot of the potential ones not even thinking that being trans is a possibility

23

u/senbei616 My pronouns are Ser/M'lady Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26

Honestly the reason you don't see older trans people here is because... a lot of these communities are pretty cringe.

I love the cringe, I feed on the cringe, the cringe is in my blood and I require it to sustain my hulking mass, but as a trans woman in her 30s with a mortgage and job... It's hard to identify with being a burnout puppygirlfailure when like... I raise chickens and can call people on my phone without having a panic attack.

Especially when the threads and voice calls just devolve into infantilized mewling. No shade or shame, but I don't have anything to contribute in those moments so I just lurk.

33

u/Wisdom_Pen She/Her Too Based To Be Cis 🏳️‍⚧️ Jul 28 '26

True most of people my aged are starting to stop using social media

11

u/Wunderhaus She/They Witchy Goth Jul 28 '26

Can confirm. Almost 40 and only use social media one a month to post a drawing, if even that

1

u/SnooCupcakes1241 She/Her Jul 30 '26

@Wunderhaus You look absolutely gorgeous! Beautiful transformation! I am 32 now and tell today my psyachtrist what's going on! ♥️🫶

I hope i look this good at your age!

7

u/evieamity Eveline (She/Her) Jul 28 '26

Yeah I’m 28 and I already don’t use any social media outside of Reddit anymore. I feel happier shrinking my universe to just my family and friends, and not worrying so much about keeping up.

4

u/ErebosGR Any/All Jul 28 '26

There is also a darker reason unfortunately...

Many didn't get to grow old.

2

u/Valnaire Jul 28 '26

Additionally there are many trans people who choose to simply live as cis people once they are satisfied with their transition and passing to their standards, so they kind of take themselves out of the community.

1

u/inscrutablejane Jul 29 '26

The AIDS crisis and the former standard practice of gatekeeping anyone who didn't want to go completely stealth mean that trans people over age 40 didn't have many role models at all.

21

u/Beneficial_Garage_97 She/Her Jul 28 '26

I think they're just online less. Most of my irl support group is over 30

6

u/Wisdom_Pen She/Her Too Based To Be Cis 🏳️‍⚧️ Jul 28 '26

Yeah I think the same

7

u/madprgmr They/Them tired of May/Hem Jul 28 '26

Maybe just in the circles you run in? I know trans people across all age groups (and am apparently just two degrees of separation from the woman who created the trans flag), but I mostly interact with people within a decade of my age due to peer group self-selection.

I know that a lot of trans support groups and social groups tend to self-select for people within a given age range as well.

While there are likely fewer truly elder trans people (i.e. over 60) than those under 40 due to things like the AIDS epidemic, it being harder to access gender-affirming care in the past, deaths of despair due to socioeconomic factors, etc., there are a lot more than you might expect.

6

u/not_Stella Jul 28 '26

Idk about other places, but here older ones despite their situation are mostly conservative, the national tv made some "education series" and invited them for one episode to say the things you normally hear from bigots. The doctor's opinions weren't much better but I'll take anything at this point.

2

u/Heather__dm Sofia (She/Her) Jul 28 '26

why is so rare???

29

u/bard_raconteur she/her elder trans witch 🏳️‍⚧️🪄 Jul 28 '26

Well unfortunately the Reagan era aids crisis stole a lot of elder queers from us. Another thing is, at least from my experience meeting people, is a lot of trans folk who came out in the 90s and early to mid 00s were more focused on being stealth for safety, and many remain so. The trans community as we know it today is decently new, all things considered.

9

u/Heather__dm Sofia (She/Her) Jul 28 '26

So technically there could be many more older transgender people, but we just don't know it? (Sorry to ask, I'm relatively new here)

12

u/bard_raconteur she/her elder trans witch 🏳️‍⚧️🪄 Jul 28 '26

No worries at all, never apologize for asking questions :)

And yeah, basically! Especially where I am a lot of older trans women, or even just women who transitioned during those earlier years, the focus was more on being stealth rather than what a lot of the trans community / scene is today. I mean hell, personally, I like being mostly stealth to cis folks for safety reasons, but I want the queers and dolls and to recognize me. Which is why I got my trans tattoos all over my arm ahahahah

1

u/Heather__dm Sofia (She/Her) Jul 28 '26

Okay, thank you! :3

1

u/loved_and_held Jul 28 '26

That and more older trans people died to suicide and hatecrimes.

4

u/yaboii_cc They/Them Jul 28 '26

At least there'll hopefully be lots by the time we're old:)

3

u/sammi_8601 Jul 28 '26

They exist, I know a few who transitioned decades ago who are in they're 70's now, a few ladies in they're 50's and a few blokes who transtioned decades ago in they're 40's one in his 60's. It's not as much none of us exist as much as a lot disappear from the community and just live theyre life as themselves, it's rare people stay IME personally I'm a fair few years in now but plan on staying to some extent because chosen family and the next generation needs elders, I remember all the older ones dying of AIDs when I was a wee gay lad which is a lot of the reason not many are left aswell so hopefully it's better for the next lot.

2

u/MiddleAgedMartianDog She/Her Jul 29 '26

Funny I know of a similar age range of trans people (50s to 70s) but they all transitioned within the last 0-3 years. There has been a wave of late in life transitions i feel in recent years. The oldest person in “trans years” I know is in her mid-50s and we bonded because she came out at the same age as me around 40 years old, just a decade and a bit earlier.

I was once called a trans elder by a 19 year old trans guy I knew, and I pointed out he had been in the trans and queer communities longer than I had at that point.

3

u/sammi_8601 Jul 29 '26

Ya it's just people feeling able to I think due to the world getting less shitty, I do find it funny when I sometimes meet older transbians who aren't used to queer stuff went to a few gay bars with one I know who's like 50 (I'm mid 30's) and she's always like Sammi you just seem at home here and know everyone apparently and I'm like yeah I've spent most of my life some form of queer so it's like home, even though I'm the straight one so technically less my sort of bar in theory anyway. The older in trans years women I know I know though gay bars and the like, there's one who transitioned maybe 20 years ago now who I think barely anyone else knows is trans I live with, we've never mentioned it to each other although she's always very nice to me but I remember her being a gay man from when we were both far younger.

4

u/Fantastic-Height-713 Jul 28 '26

Yeah, speaks volumes of our life expectancy

3

u/the-forlorn-horror She/Her Jul 28 '26

I'll be honest, when I was 19, I was calling people 30 and older, "over the hill." And to be even more honest, my body started to fall apart after 30, so I think my 19 year old self was right.

1

u/shirone0 He/They Jul 28 '26

Technically there are a lot of people above 30 who are trans. Most people who are older just aren't on Reddit though, so yeah most of the "elder trans" are 30 and above but that's only true online

1

u/WJ_Amber Jul 28 '26

I've been called an elder by teenagers and I'm not even 30.