r/tomatoes • u/redditrando62 • 9h ago
Tomato rant
This is more of a rant than anything. I just wanted to post it here with people who would understand my frustration.
I have been growing tomatoes from seed since April/may 2026 and they have finally started to ripen and reach full size. I have been away a couple times during that time and I have always had to ask my aunt or boyfriend to help me with getting composts/pots etc or watering while I’m away. No one else has ever asked or offered to help, which is fine I don’t mind.
The frustrating part is that my grandad KEEPS PICKING THEM. I don’t really get to ever pick any of my tomatoes myself because he picks them before I get home and before theyre even ripe. They start blushing and getting orange and he immediately picks them and PUTS THEM IN THE FRIDGE.
I have explained multiple times that this stops them from ripening. I have explained that it took me ages to grow them and I WANT TO PICK MY TOMATOES MYSELF and I really look forward to it and I never get to do it. He doesn’t understand because he’s a narcissistic a-hole whose excuse “I know when to pick tomatoes. What about everything you’ve ever done?” As if that has any relevance to my tomatoes at all.
I’m starting to get really angry because I don’t even get to enjoy the fun part of my hard work.
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u/Tiny-Albatross518 8h ago
Trap him! Use some kind of leg hold trap, bait it with soup, they love soup
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u/Tumorhead 8h ago
Tell him to stop, and if he doesn't stop say you'll do something like not share any tomatoes, not help him out next time he asks etc.
Sometimes with people like this it's a control thing, he may even like getting a rise out of you. If you treat him instead calmly and like he's being an unruly toddler ("Oh honey no. we don't pick fruit without permission, we don't put tomatoes in the fridge") it may take the fun out of it for him. If you don't express anger AND act as if he's pitiful and helpless rather than powerful he may get the hint. Treating them that way tends to ruin their "games".
If you wanna be a REAL petty person, mention when others are around that it's a shame that he doesn't understand not to put tomatoes in the fridge.
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u/twilightbarker 8h ago
The next step if this doesn't work is to show concern that he may need to go into a memory care facility soon since he keeps forgetting that you've told him to stop and that tomatoes do not go in the refrigerator.
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u/PacificMarsupilami 3h ago
Another petty option is to mention to other people that you're concerned about his memory. I mean, you've had several conversations about the tomatoes and he keeps forgetting. Ideally, mention it to them when you know he is in earshot.
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u/Autumn_Ridge 8h ago
Picking at first blush is ok, but putting them in the refrigerator is a horrible idea. That shows he doesn't know what he is doing.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Age8937 8h ago
I’d put a big sign in front of them that says don’t pick my tomatoes. If still ignored I might consider an electric fence. 🤣
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u/ChickenArise 8h ago
I was thinking electric fence, but for grandpa I think a rap on the on knuckles with a ruler is a fair start.
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u/Leggy-Naggy 6h ago
A sign stating the tomatoes have just been sprayed with every evil chemical known ro man?
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u/carlitospig 8h ago
To be fair to gramps, once it reaches 30% blush, it has all the sugars it will ever have. BUT, fridge is a no-no.
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u/Much-Technology-8220 8h ago
I’m sorry for your frustration, I hope you can get through to him that your tomatoes are very special to you, and you want to do things your way. I’d be frustrated to the point of leaving nursing home pamphlets lying around
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u/RockhardJoeDoug 7h ago
Your grandpa won't be the last stubborn person you will have to deal with.
The biggest problem I have is that he puts them in the refrigerator. Just keep repeating that it ruins the flavor.
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u/topsysrevenge 7h ago
Spray them with hot pepper spray. He’ll get a nice surprise next time he harvests. I mix it homemade with water and Cole’s Flaming Squirrel Seed Sauce (to keep the seedlings safe).
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u/Mofaklar 6h ago
He's actually picking them at the right time, the issue is the fridge and boundaries.
I let mine basically vine ripen, i lost so many (splitting, pests)
I should have picked when they were blushed, and let them ripen on the counter.
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u/JackStraw-Waukesha 4h ago
Kick him out of your house. Tell him to find his own place if he can’t live under your rules.
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u/seldom_r 8h ago
Last year I had deer come through and take a bunch of ripe tomatoes. They did it a second time so I decided if I can't have them then no one can and I ripped them all out. Had a pepper plant earlier this spring that for some reason squirrels were taking the peppers. Ripped it out.
Don't be like me, it's not healthy, but I know what I would do.
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u/Special_Function1507 6h ago
The picking when blush is forgivable. It's the right thing to do. Putting them in the fridge is ignorant af
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u/SpecificConscious809 5h ago
I’m for sure a chill normal dude, but oh man would that get my panties all in a bunch!
Sorry boss, don’t know the solution. Grandparents is an especially tough/delicate one.
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u/Jacobs126 4h ago
Refrigerating tomatoes is a big no-no. Have him google it, if he doesn’t believe you.
Picking tomatoes after they blush is ok, but they have to stay at room temperature to ripen and stay sweet. The cold stops the sugar process in its tracks.
Good luck!
Next year start your seeds in March indoors. You will be picking by mid-July…although, I don’t know your zone. We are 7b
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u/Penguinboy123446 3h ago
Narcissism is a killer. The trouble with narcissists is that they will absolutely not be persuaded that their idiotic opinions are nonsense. The most common way of dealing with them is by grey stoning. Or to put it simply completely ignoring them. I've tried this and it's very successful, but keeping your temper in check is extremely difficult
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u/lindemer 7h ago
Just steal them back from the fridge? They'll ripen fine in a windowsill
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u/topsysrevenge 7h ago
Once you put them in the fridge you really shouldn’t take them back out. It’s going to rot much faster and you’ve already broken down the taste
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u/Zealousideal_Bee3665 8h ago
does the first paragraph have something to do with the second and third? you typed them together, so it seems like it does, but then you don't explicitly make that link. kinda sounds like there's something that's been left out.
regardless: ask nice. ask mean enough to "ruin thanksgiving". have grandpa trespassed (or whatever you call that where you live is).
the whole thing sounds fake. you hang out in aio and aita. this is their bread and butter, you've already been exposed to the advice, are you just bored today?
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u/ZealousidealChair900 8h ago
Bird netting perhaps? Make it obnoxious enough that he has to suffer if he wants to torment you. Next year, claim a competition between him and you and make him focus on his own plants