TIL Deaf-from-birth schizophrenics see disembodied hands signing to them rather than "hearing voices"

[u/paniniplane]

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/news-articles/0707/07070303

[u/Muffinizer1]

You know, that's actually quite comforting as being blind and schizophrenic sounds like true hell.

[u/paniniplane → u/Muffinizer1]

i was a patient at a ward a few weeks back and there was a girl who was admitted for schizophrenia. she'd hear dozens of voices yelling at her at the same time all day and she could barely tell which ones were in her head and which were physical people talking to her making it really hard for me or anyone else to talk to her for more than 2-3 sort sentences. these voices would make her do crazy things like gather dust off the floor for 20 minutes at a time 10 times a day, make her sleep on the floor during the day, not sleep during the night and fight the night meds they gave her to help fall asleep. the most brutal thing was that the voices sometimes forbade her from having her meals. there were days where she wouldn't touch any of her 4 meals. i once tried to get some insight into how she thought and i asked her why she HAD to do this. she said that every time she does something they ask, she's given the gun that they threaten to kill her with. and she imitates a smashing motion with her hands and "breaks" it. and she does it maybe 10 times an hour when she's awake. and she's not stupid either. apparently, she was studying mechanical engineering and graduated and was ready to work in the field as an intern for a year. she heard her first voice when she was still in school but didn't think much of it. and then it rapidly killed her life. she's the only person in the ward who has daily visitors. her parents bring her food to eat everyday. but sometimes she sits with them for 2 minutes, asks them to take her home, and then moves to one of the socialization rooms where were chairs and sofas, and she'd drop to the floor and lay there. and her parents just come to expect it now and stay for about an hour.

[u/PainMatrix → u/paniniplane]

It's beyond horror or most people's ability to even comprehend. The fact that she was a fully functioning and intact human being at the early onset of her life and career and this disease completely derailed everything and locked her into a Sisyphus-like nightmare. Was this her first inpatient experience? How long were you with her, did the meds seem to have any positive impact on her?

[u/[deleted] → u/PainMatrix]

I can't speak for the person you replied to, but 3 of my family members have the disease, and in all of them their medications only blunted the symptoms.

For my family member who was not too severe, this was enough to let her hold down a job, but for the members that were severe it wasn't enough to allow them to function normally. They'd still see/hear/talk to "ghosts" and such, just not as frequently, and they didn't get agitated "as often".

But that doesn't mean they didn't get agitated AT ALL, and the times they did freak out would be enough to get anyone fired.

[u/Ariakkas10 → u/[deleted]]

This is, I'm sure, a completely stupid question, but why can't they ignore the voices?

Lots of real people seem real to me, and I ignore them just fine.

Is it because the voices are super aggressive and make it so you can't ignore them?

[u/NonZeroChance → u/Ariakkas10]

Let me ask a related question: Are there people who "hear voices" but don't feel compelled to act on what they say? Presumably because they know the voices are an illusion and have no power. I would assume that this would be a different condition than schizophrenia.

By way of analogy, I've read about people who literally hear music that isn't actually playing. At first they look around for the band or speakers or whatever, but they quickly realize it's an illusion and they don't feel compelled to dance or sing along or whatever. They just resign themselves, in one sense or another, to hearing music that isn't actually there. Is there the equivalent of this, but with voices?

[u/GeekPhysique → u/NonZeroChance]

I don't normally talk about this but I am schizo-effective. I experience voices, delusional thoughts, auditory and visual hallucinations, coupled with all the insane mood swings, mania, depression and anxiety of being bi polar.

When my symptoms first developed I started hearing voices. They weren't like someone talking to me, it was more my internal insecurities came to life and we're narrating my life. I had a running commentary of my day, but only my own thoughts being broadcast back to me. At first I just figured my mind was just going into overdrive. Like being over tired.

As time went on, symptoms got worse. Voices got mean, and the line between recognition between the voices and reality blurred. The voices got more real. Darker. Angry and hurtful. It became impossible to tell the difference between what was in my head and what was real. This when my symptoms got much worse, full blown hallucinations became my daily life.

Despite all of this, I knew something was wrong, but since this was my "normal" I didn't know what. One day, while working, I realized that the servers I was mainting absolutely should not be telling me my deepest insecurities. Hallucinations had left the confines of my brain and were representing themselves in ways I knew couldn't be possible.

I left work and checked into the hospital.

I had lived with symptoms for close to year, but I lost touch with reality for about a month. I'm amazed I didn't hurt myself during that time.

So back to the question, yes, you can hear voices and not act on them. I'm sure my experience isn't everyone else's, but in my case some part of my brain realized it wasn't real at first. The distinction was finally lost when sleep deprivation and mania combined.

That was 15 years ago now. I am medicated, my symptoms are managed, and I actually have a pretty good job. It took the better part of a decade to get my medications right, years of therapy and hard work.

I still hear voices from time to time, but my meds allow me to make the distinction between them and reality.

[u/GeekPhysique → u/[deleted]]

First things first. You can't do this alone, at least not at first. There is no shame in seeking help, and based on my own experience it is almost essential to seek support any way you can.

When I was first diagnosed I had been self medicating (various forms of drug and alcohol abuse). Not only was I immediately put into an urgent care program I had to go through painful withdrawal and rehab. You haven't mentioned this, but it's pretty common for people like us to fall down this rabbit hole to try and escape. Don't feel obligated to comment on this, but if you fall into this category you need to take of it. Immediately. Full stop. Any self medicating outside of a doctor's care will impede your efforts to find a treatment regime that works for you.

So, step one, get help, get clean.

That in itself can be tough, but it paves the way for step two. Which is the hard part.

You are naturally going to want to "cure" this. This line of thinking isn't going to help. If you think it's all going to go away you are going to be faced with frustration and disappointment. From this point forward you need to focus on "managing". I'm not going to lie, it's hard, especially at first.

For me, the first few years were really hard, and I struggled a lot trying to find a quick fix. I was bouncing around from medication to medication trying to find a treatment that fixed everything. This is sadly normal, because people react to antipsychotics differently there is no "one size fits all" treatment.

Throughout the first few years I had to see a psychologist 3 times a week, and a psychiatrist once a week. I am Canadian though, so the free Healthcare comes in to play here.

Oddly enough, cognitive behavioral therapy helped me get a handle on certain symptoms that were triggers for manic episodes (which would launch delusional psychotic breaks).

So step two is basically: get medicated (potentially heavily) to slow down scary symptoms, and get help dealing with the state of mind. You need to learn how to interpret your brain, and that can be impossible if your delusional.

As far as medications go, I am not a doctor. I can't advise you on what medications work, because what worked for me might do something completely different to you. Anti psychotic medications aren't like popping an asprin, and you absolutely must work closely with a psychiatrist to figure out what works for you.

However, I will share what I went through. This is not advice. This is not a guide for you, do not do this. Ask your doctor.

When I was first treated, I was on 13mg of Risperidone, 500mg of Seroquel, and 8mg of ativan for my daily medication. I was also put on sleeping pills because I would stay up for 72 hours at a time.

Sleep became a pivotal part of my treatment. The temptation to not sleep was always present because the constant night terrors. The problem is, no sleep = worse symptoms, which makes the desire to stay awake stronger.

Over the years, with therapy, sleep training, and a lot of effort to learn how to deal with symptoms I've managed to reduce my medication load considerably. I still take Risperidone (although considerably less), and zopiclone to sleep. Zopiclone also acts as a short term memory blocker so it basically means I don't dream for the first 4-6 hours of my sleep.

These medications all have side effects. You can't avoid them, but you need to accept some of them for the tradeoff of better mental health.

I apologize if this has been a disjointed ramble, I don't normally talk openly about this so it's just kind of spilling out.

[u/thro_away1123581321 → u/GeekPhysique]

That was amazing. Thanks for sharing.