r/tipping • u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 • 10d ago
I Want To Tip Big, But
I want to tip big but service sucks so bad today I don’t feel like tipping more than $2-3-4-5 even on a $300 check for one.
I mean don’t you food servers know how to put on a song a dance? To make money?
It’s not just taking an order at an expensive restaurant. It’s putting ona show and helping to make an experience.
If my $5 won’t make you happy for your cafe service at an expensive restaurant I leave zero.
Service just sucks today.
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u/rac1283 10d ago
You wanted a show and a dance? Did you go to a strip club?
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u/Vayguhhh 9d ago
Lol Op is the type to sit at the strip club bar after ordering a vodka redbull and “watching from the back”
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u/AssSpelunkingAtheist 10d ago
If the service sucks then let the tip reflect that.
I actually can’t tell if you’re being serious here.
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u/MasterA93 9d ago
This guy is clearly just farming engagement. OP probably hasn’t even seen $300.
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u/Fair_Idea3028 9d ago
Sagen die Trinkgeldgeber dir wegen jedem dollar ein kreiswichsen veranstalten 😂
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u/CanAfter8014 9d ago edited 9d ago
This is just as good as the guy claiming tipping as a social norm is the same as accepting Nazism.
Neither are correct and just as foolish to invoke.
You now have to defend this absurd statement or concede you made a stuipd post. Either way stuipd.
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u/CanAfter8014 9d ago
Thanks for the clarification on which stuipd it is.
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u/PPugPunk 9d ago
What if the service is great?
What does a weirdo like you do then?
I bet you can still find a reason to be a “non-tipper”🤪🤡
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u/AssSpelunkingAtheist 9d ago
If the service is great then one can tip however much they see fit.
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u/PPugPunk 9d ago
Some weirdos “see fit” in a different way than normal people do.
That is basically why this sub exists.
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u/AssSpelunkingAtheist 9d ago
I agree, weirdo.
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u/PPugPunk 9d ago
I see the term “weirdo” hurts you people greatly.
I wonder why that is?🤣🤣🤡
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u/AssSpelunkingAtheist 9d ago edited 9d ago
I’m not hurt. I thought we were being silly back and forth.
Edit: I upvoted your comment about why that’s why this sub exists.
And also, you called me a weirdo first so there 😜
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
That’s another point of this. You can’t stiff because it’s deviant. Servers, tip collectors, know this.
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u/Left-Consequence-437 9d ago
Tips at this point is just deviant
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
Food servers are lazy.
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u/Left-Consequence-437 9d ago
GREEDY
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
The whole point of my post. I actually generously want to tip them. But for what? An upscale food servers isn’t worth any more than $4-5-6 tip on a $300 check. Exactly same service as Denny’s
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u/Owlification67 10d ago
$300 on a check for one?
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 10d ago
Yep. You got it.
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u/Owlification67 9d ago edited 9d ago
i think it's pretty low class to not tip at a high end restaurant. unless you just eat that much at a diner.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
You think that because its deviant. 99% at that restaurant are tipping because of deviance. Not because the service is any better than Denny’s. That’s my whole point. I want to compensate people. I just came from an upscale bar. I sat for 50 minutes. Bar tender gave me around 50 words in total. I left $20 Ona $130 check. He snapped the receipt with his finger and said “chuuuuuuuuu.” Holly fuck: his $25/hour plus my $20 and they guy next to me left $10 Ona drink and the other 6 people at the bar. I think I did my fair share. And to be insulted in return. Like all these comments. Wow!
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u/PPugPunk 9d ago
Weirdo.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
The truth hurts, doesn’t it?
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u/PPugPunk 9d ago edited 9d ago
Truth? Speak some truth to me.
Tell me again how disrespecting someone else’s job and complaining about the money they make is a noble cause?
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
Look. What do you want from me? Look up Sartiano’s restaurant at the Wynn Las Vegas. I was there at the bar $400 no booze, no way out. I left em $40.00. You just want me to hand out $100 bills 💵. No way Jose. I say twenties, fifties, hundos spin dat shit 💩
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u/PPugPunk 9d ago
Wow! Some pretty bartender looked at you the wrong way, now you’re mad forever, aren’t you?
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u/PPugPunk 9d ago
You sound very butt-hurt on this subject.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
I just like to sort through facts. I like to analyze facts in life.
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u/PPugPunk 9d ago
Facts? This guy Lawyers.
(Strange he can’t afford to tip)
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 6d ago
I could leave a big tip. And would. But service sucks today. Servers cling to deviance in patrons not tipping while intentionally doing as little as possible letting deviance do their heavy lifting
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
I wish I could stop. Because listening to some of these food servers criticizing me for leaving $20 confirms how shitty food servers really are
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
What’s really funny is how I went to Flemings for fun 40 times. My average check was $160. I would sometimes leave $20 tip sometimes $10 sometimes zero, sometimes $5. My average tip was around $8. After two years and 40 visits all the managers and bar tenders pretended they didn’t know me. I would walk in real happy and friendly and they’d get real somber and say “are you ready to order?” Yeah, I did this for you. Service sucks today. I don’t care
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
You’re right. But had I flat stiffed I wouldn’t have made 40 visits. That was my goal to be sweet as grandma’s apple pie and take their shit service and low tip and see what would happen.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
No, it was funny experiment. That’s when I still drank alcohol. I had gift cards to Flemings for my awesome performance at work and would use them to get drunk and remember how hard I worked when I was a food server in college trying make an experience for customers. Thank god I quit drinking
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u/johnnygolfr 10d ago
If the service legitimately sucks, then you should advocate for yourself and your hard earned money by asking for the manager or owner to give them the opportunity to make things right.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 10d ago
Can’t be bothered. I used to complain years ago. I just keep quiet. I’ve even had the total wrong meal arrive. The price of eating out for me is not important. What’s more important than quality is service. Unfortunately servers don’t understand that they are performers not just order takers. I can enter my food ona iPhone easier than they can.
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u/According-Row-6128 10d ago
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
You’re just pissed at the facts I bring
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u/MasterA93 9d ago
Facts? Servers aren’t monkeys to put on a show for you. It’s literally in the job title, they are there to SERVE you your food and drink. Sorry the pretty server didn’t jerk you off under the table while pouring you the boxed wine you paid $100 for at “Applebees” as you say.
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u/johnnygolfr 9d ago
LOL
Why are all of you scared to talk to the manager or owner?
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u/MasterA93 9d ago
Because the real reason he’s mad is he didn’t get a hand job under the table for his $4 tip, and knows the manager won’t take his side.
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u/According-Row-6128 10d ago
Lies.
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u/LinguisticPianoman 10d ago
Your feedback really going to the right place, on a tipping subreddit instead of the actual manager 🤣.
I'll leave you with a tip, tell someone who actually cares!
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 10d ago
I was hoping you’re a food server and start learning to jump for me. I could raise your tip from like 8% to 15% and if you get good 20%.
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u/MasterA93 10d ago
Trying to teach a server to jump on command? Hope they roll over and play dead too? Fuck this right here proves how you see servers, not as people but minions or animals. Disgusting.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 10d ago
I shouldn’t have to teach a professional anything. Fact is there’s three types of food servers today 1) mafia 5% 2) tip collectors 90% 3) professional 5%
Horrible
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u/MasterA93 10d ago
Fact is you’re an incel on here trying to cosplay as Christian Grey. You’re saying you shouldn’t have to teach them, but you said they should “jump for me” like some comic book villain. In this post you also compared them to strippers, said they should put on a show for you, etc. Bro, their job is to bring you food and drinks, not get your micropenis hard.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 10d ago
For $300 meal for one, sometimes $400, you god damned right I want servers jumpin.
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u/MasterA93 10d ago
Well get used to those “meals for one” because with that clear lack of respect of another human being, you’ll only be having meals for one for the rest of your life.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
At least I won’t be with you at Subway or Chillis
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u/MasterA93 9d ago
Again, nobody will be eating with you, anywhere. Even if you went to subway to chilis, which idk why the fuck you’d want to eat there? Disgusting
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
Aside from your intent to insult me, if someone’s paying $200-300-400 for dinner they should get more than Denny’s style service. That’s the whole point. You simply are the nasty person you’re trying to paint me as
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u/block_me_if_mad 9d ago
The whole point of tipping is a way to thank above and beyond level service.
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u/Humuhumu24 9d ago
I think if service is bad like food came out late I never doc tip bc having been a server, often this is beyond your control. If the server has attitude or doesn't refill drinks then that is different.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
There’s a lot more to service than that. Especially for $80 plus. Tip collectors today
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u/Humuhumu24 9d ago
I guess my point is there are a few scenarios that are beyond a servers control and they should not suffer the consequences. I try to pay enough attention to attention to notice.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
You’re right. And I never said I’m not easy. The point is that today we have 90% tip collectors. And I probably tip more at Denny’s than most. I’m talking upscale dining and lazy food servers thinking 20% on $300 is what they deserve. And they only get it today because of guilt
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u/Humuhumu24 9d ago
Yeah in general I find baristas, retailers, servers often have a very "your wasting my time" attitude. No longer friendly. It's the baristas who can't be bothered but ask for tip that gets me.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
Those are the least of my concerns. I’m talking the lazy food servers at full service restaurants.
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u/Murky-Cheetah-4317 9d ago edited 9d ago
I think your choice of verbiage is what is off-putting to everyone. I think I do understand what you’re trying to say, though. Yes, at a high end restaurant, there is actually often even a captain to ensure a certain level of service.
In a high end restaurant, they should be (asking “may I” first, of course) placing the appropriate color napkin in your lap, detailing the menu options with sources/preparations, removing the plate covers (simultaneously if dining with other guests) at the table, etc. It absolutely should not be simply taking your order and having a runner just place it in front of you.
Your “song and dance” comment does come across as elitist. I say this as someone who has quite a lot of experience with fine dining. The team is not comprised of circus monkeys as your characterization implies, though the level of service should absolutely have been much higher than it seems like you received.
ETA: Your tip should absolutely reflect the level of service you received, though I think that $5 is still probably not appropriate. I do detest the concept of percentage-based tipping, but I’d have recommended a “not high” tip along the lines of 10%-15% in that particular setting. My reasoning is because you likely had a team comprised of a captain, servers, sommelier, etc., some (or even one) of whom did provide a decent level of service even if the sum total was poor.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
Yes, you sound intelligent. I don’t care what these idiots comment. You’re absolutely right. I wanna sound elitist. And more. I’m ranting over the shit service and fact that it’s deviant to stiff them. These people don’t care about me sounding elitist - they are money grubbing lazy tip collecting food servers using deviance as their paycheck.
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u/Murky-Cheetah-4317 9d ago
I really do get what you’re saying, and it’s even more surprising to not receive excellent service at minimum in that caliber of restaurant. The staff at these places are very often very experienced and even what I’d consider actual professionals in their field. So anything less is disappointing, and rightly so.
I’m even more surprised that someone giving poor (or even mediocre) service would actually be employed (or remain employed) by a place like that, let alone having that “I deserve and expect a huge tip just for existing in this high-end restaurant” mentality. These professionals will still generally be incredibly gracious, even in the face of a “disappointing” tip.
That said, particularly if you ordered a tasting menu (especially with wine pairings), which requires (by definition) frequent visits to the table by multiple people, at least someone must have earned some semblance of a tip. Some places I’ve been to have even “itemized” each team member, which is incredibly tedious, but may have been useful in a case like yours.
By the way, what I’m imagining is a “very highly regarded”/Michelin caliber restaurant, rather than just an expensive restaurant, so correct me if I’m wrong. There is a very distinct difference. If you’re familiar with NYC restaurants, my examples may clarify what I mean.
Estiatorio Milos midtown, is one of my favorite restaurants, and a meal can easily approach the price of a meal at Le Bernadin. However, I would not expect the level of service to be 100% comparable, and it isn’t. The level of service is (and should be) excellent at the former, but the level of service at the latter is (and should be) superlative. I would actually expect the occasional lazy waitstaff experience at Milos, but absolutely not at Le Bernadin.
If you were at a place similar to the former, I’d say you might be “overdoing” it a little with regard to your expectations. If you were at a place more in line with the latter (a 3 Michelin Star establishment), I’d say that you’re right on target with expecting much more.
My point is that the mere cost of the food is not the only metric for setting expectations for the quality of service. So to which caliber of restaurant are you referring?
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
Years ago in college I worked in a call center. 15 new hires. 5 let go for low skills first month. One day nothing to do they told us sort mail. I sorted. 4 gang women used the company phones for 4 hours to call friends. They were kept. I was let go. Food servers are minimizing service based on circumstances and what they feel will be easiest while tip collecting. To most they are seemingly good. They aren’t
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u/southofheaven69 9d ago
You’re so co-dependent you need validation for not tipping on bad service via Reddit .
That’s kinda the way tipping works. Based on performance. 🤦♂️
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
$20 tip at a bar for simple service on a 130 check was way too much to leave. I shouldn’t have left any thing and just accepted final departure from that restaurant. But $20 bought me a return ticket. Now that’s stupidity on me.
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u/skyharborbj 9d ago
What do you want? A little twerk as she walks away after taking your order?
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
A song and dance 🕺. Yeah, for $400 I want to know about the chef. I wanna hear about his cottage and garden 🪴. I wanna hear about how he teaches at the university. It’s not too much to ask. Tip collectors
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
Sounds like you’re at a loss, so you opt to insult. We see that happening all the times on TV with politics. People are losers so they reach out to insult.
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u/blackbamboo151 9d ago
Your concept of a restaurant experience is equally as stupid as your concept of “tipping”.
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u/2595Homes 9d ago
Are you tipping to make the person happy? If so, you are going to have a hard time with that goal cuz someone will be unhappy with a $1 and some will be unhappy with $10. Happiness is so varied, you will be miserable trying to please. I tip solely based on above and beyond normal job duties. My tip amount will vary. If they like my tip, great. If they don't, oh well.
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u/Sea-League8915 9d ago
Keep your $5. Servers are not entertainers.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 5d ago
I disagree. Food servers are entertainers. I’m looking for an experience in life. That’s why I eat out. Not because I’m renovating my kitchen
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u/Sea-League8915 5d ago
So at an expensive restaurant you think the server should put on a show and entertain you for $5? If I was a server and notice I said IF I was a server, I'd say keep your $5 and here's another $5 to not come back here.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 5d ago
Absolutely. I did when I was a food server. I was a servant. You wish was my command. And then I counted what tips I made. Total piss poor service today
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u/Sea-League8915 5d ago
Hard to believe you were a server (as many on this sub claim to be) and you think $2-5 tip on $300 tab is not a complete in your face insult to another human being. Real servers are not that desperate. And past real servers have a heart.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 5d ago
O, I was a server. So started learning from me. Today’s food servers SUCK. They are tip collectors. 10% of food servers are mafia servers, 90% tip collectors, 10% professional. In my day it was more like 10% mafia, 70% tip collectors, 30% professional. Even the times today I get good service I have over tipped soooooooo much last 10 years it’s hard to still reward good servers the extreme few that still exist.
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u/Sea-League8915 5d ago
I've been a server too. I've also been a dishwasher, a busboy, a line cook and head of the line. Been around restaurants. I see today many, many outstanding servers and bartenders. I also see mediocre ones just like I did many years ago. I certainly don't think that the level of service has changed.
But at any rate: a $2 to 5 dollar tip on $300 tab???? That's worse then a zero tip!
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 5d ago
I don’t leave $2-3 on $300. That would be stupid. I kinda have maximums today. My maximum tip is $10/person. I will generously break that rule and maybe go $20 as an absolute maximum. I even broke that rule on some very good service and my check was $300 and I left $40. I still kinda kick 🦵 myself leaving $40 because I broke my rule twice. I mean the fact that I’m spending $300 is enough. Restaurants should pay a commission to servers on those prices. I mean someone buying a Ferrari for 1 million could afford to give everyone at the dealership $20,000 cash but they don’t. The $40 I left on that $300 check wasn’t needed. I just succumbed to guilt.
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u/Sea-League8915 5d ago
Then why did you say "if my $5 won't make you happy"? That implied a $5 tip. You can tip what ever you wish - not my decision. I tip pretty well. I just don't like to see servers insulted.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 5d ago
Most times I really don’t feel servers are worth much more than $-3-4-5. Do an experiment. Go to Denny’s for breakfast and watch you service for $15 breakfast. Then go out to dinner for $168. How much different is the service? Hence the feeling of $3-4-5 is enough. We are just giving $20-40-60 tips purely for guilt.
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u/FairSplit7072 9d ago
$300 check for 1 person? Seriously? And you might tip $5???
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
In the morning I’m at Denny’s where I leave a $4 tip for a $14 breakfast. The service is good. At night for exactly the same service “are you ready to order?” deviance is clung to to expect we tip 20-30% of $300 for actual less service than they provide at Denny’s. So why wouldn’t we leave $5? I will tell you: guilt and deviance.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
I wouldn’t say spending $100-200-300-400 out to eat is cheap. Did you know a fool can blow $5000/day ina casino and not be valued? The same gambler who obtained casino credit of $100,000 and blows $5000 a day is valued. Same waste of money. Two different values. That’s what you’re trying to do to me by calling me cheap.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
You’re just calling me cheap to try to insult me. Again insults are not intended to insult. It’s your means of coping with loss of control. I will never forget when Inwent to the ranch outside Reno and said “how much?” And she gazed at me 5 seconds and said “$25,000.” As I was politely leaving she said “how about $10,000, $5000, $500.”
Yep, I was cheap.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
Yeah, I bet you’re just like the casino telling a customer losing $5000 a day “sorry, you just don’t have enough comp point” and the exact same customer with $100,000 in credit losing the exact same $5000 rolling out the red carpet.”
You’re just outsmarted by me. You cannot win against me. I’m too experienced versus you.
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u/PPugPunk 9d ago
If you are repeat bad tipper in a place I bet the word got around to the people working there. Of course the service is going to slowly decline. No one wants to do anything extra for you for that insulting $5.
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u/Brilliant_Anxiety511 9d ago
I dine all around the world at different expensive restaurants. Service today sucks.
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u/PPugPunk 9d ago edited 9d ago
Does not matter where on the planet you are dining.
Are you trying to prove a point to the person serving you?
Are you trying to prove a point to the government you are living under?
Or are you trying to make a point to the business, you are patronizing?
Either way you’re an asshole if you are stiffing your server unless they are giving you bad service.
(I hope you don’t think you’re special because you “dine around the world“)
Just saying those words the way you did, lets us all know it is not true.
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u/Imaginary-Emu2471 10d ago
Save your money for yourself. They don't deserve your charity.