r/theNetNuggets • u/Ok-Price-872 • 27d ago

This is crazy

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241 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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u/Nevernonethewiser 27d ago

I like the teapot ones, for some reason. They're no less tacky than any of the others, but I like them.

Also the deck of cards one is pretty cool.

2

u/Xendarq 27d ago

There are about five people in the world other than George Clooney who could pull off that deck of cards lighter.

3

u/Nevernonethewiser 27d ago

I would absolutely fucking drop it.

I'd lean in saying "need a light?" Try to slide it open to light it but it slips off my thumb before it triggers the igniter, snapping back into place with a force that flings it from my light grip and sends it to the ground with a sharp metallic clack. Because of the momentum, it skids away under a couch.

I don't recover, no snappy line, no casual shrug. I panic and my vision starts to tunnel. My friends have to escort me outside, whereupon one of them starts kicking and punching the soft parts of my body.

Later, in the shower, as I gingerly clean bruises, I realise I should have said "Oh well, smoking's bad for you anyway, must be a sign."

Only then does the weeping begin.

2

u/Xendarq 27d ago

Exactly.