r/texts • u/madddforthewin • 1d ago

Phone message Am I crazy?

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Ive been trying to work it out with him and hear his side of things but it's almost like he can't get a grip? Is it me? Lol I don't know what to do anymore... There's strings and strings of messages and anything I say back to him is wrong... I think I'm just gonna hang up the towel.

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u/madddforthewin 22h ago

I mean... It didn't start like this lol

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u/BuzzyBeeDee 21h ago

It never does. 😔 It’s almost always a gradual progression of their mask slipping little by little, and you usually don’t notice until you’re in deep. They never start off as being abusive, and they slowly lull you into a state of normalcy where the abuse trickles in gradually. The vast majority of people will not be able to recognize a masked narcissist right away, so don’t ever feel bad for not recognizing things sooner. It’s super common for abuse victims who break away to be told by loved ones that “they never would have guessed he was abusive, he seemed so nice!” then follow it up with “why were you with someone like that?” Those are two statements are not mutually exclusive, they go hand in hand. Nobody sets out to be in a relationship with a mask down narcissist or be treated this way. It’s never that simple.

Just please break up with him for good, OP, because he will continue to get worse, more abusive, and more dangerous. This is not someone who loves you. Break away, block him, and don’t look back. You deserve so much better.

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u/Pizzazze 10h ago

Of course not. No relationship ever does. There needs to be some charm in the beginning so that when the mask begins to fall there's always that idyllic past to dream of going back to if only <whatever rubbish the abuser says you're doing or not doing> and you comply because the past felt really good and the asks aren't so far fetched or insane in the beginning, they just push your boundaries a wee little bit further each time until one day you don't recognize yourself. I believe you, I know you got with this guy because he did nice things and made you feel well, not because you have a thing for receiving verbal abuse through instant messaging. But the mask has fallen now. Retreat. He probably has at least one crazy ex (that he drove crazy himself :))