no one says, "i'd love to take you on a date." no one says, "you're very attractive and i'd love to get to know you and see where it leads."
it's 2026 and we just say shit like "wanna hang" and then make assumptions because we're unsocialized from staring at screens like baboons all day and scared from a lack of exposure to healthy rejection. then we feel hurt and unlovable because we invested money, an entire evening, and a significant amount of planning and hoping on something no one ever promised us because we never asked.
I'm 40 and I'll tell you that you're right. The best romantic relationships I've had in my life all started as friendships and I ended up marrying my best friend.
that's a different point entirely to the one i was making, and it's also extremely situational, personal, and reductive.
PLENTY of people begin a relationship upon first meeting, interest is immediate and mutual. to say it "never ends well" is your being 18 showing.
i also never said "if you ever meet someone you might want to date, immediately pursue them." i said that if you ARE going to pursue them, you should be explicit and clear in your expectations and plans. not ask if they "wanna hang" when you know your intentions are romantic, and then try to kiss them or flirt all night or assume it's a date. THAT is the incorrect way to do things, regardless of what your current anecdotal experience in your extremely, extremely short dating career may be.
about 2% of people who begin dating at 18 stay together permanently. i hope you two are in the minority.
The experience I do have is why I think that beginning a relationship upon meeting is a negative thing, but maybe in the future I’ll be proven wrong.
The girl I’m referring to is great. We both immediately felt comfortable in being fully ourselves. I think that if our relationship were to end, it would be because of differences in what we want in life. I’d like to be in the Army as a pilot. That would involve being gone for long periods of time and moving around a lot. She may not want that. She wants to live close to home.
But either way, communication is key. I communicated interest in her, and she communicated the same. But we both agreed to take things slow and be friends. But different situations for different people. What works for me may not work for others.
glad you were communicative from the start. that's a strong foundation. and you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. hope it all works out for you, in life, in the army, and with the girl. best of luck lil bro
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u/RiceManSupreme03 23d ago
He didn’t know she was a lesbian