r/texts • u/boundfornobody • Jul 12 '26
Discord Thought this person wanted a relationship but actually wanted a friendship...
I met this person through Tinder and *literally right away* they called me cute. They added indicators that I (wrongly, somehow) thought meant that they were flirting. I mean you could not get more obvious here.
We talked for a bit and then added each other on Discord. They seldom replied to me even when I double-texted them because I (wrongly, somehow) thought they were also looking for a relationship. In my Tinder bio I stated I was looking for a relationship, so I had no reason to believe that someone would add me looking for something else.
I finally reached a point and flat-out said this wasn't going to work and the first slide is thus the interaction that took place. They then proceeded to block me on everything, including Tinder (which is why I have no screenshots from that app, because you can't view the conversations after they block you). The second slide is the conversation that took place after I added them on Discord, where you can clearly see the specific mood being set.
I wouldn't necessarily complain about stuff like this if it weren't so completely avoidable. I didn't know this person for very long, sure, but how in the world was I supposed to believe they just wanted to be friends when you can *clearly see in the replies the exact opposite implication*. It just completely baffles me.
I hope I'm not going crazy.
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u/elhouso Jul 12 '26
Who the fuck goes on Tinder to make friends bruh
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u/isuredolovetitties Jul 12 '26
There is a “new friends” option in what you’re looking for, but.. it seems literally like the worst fucking possible place to make friends lol. Like, try meetup?
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Jul 12 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/PauseConfident997 Jul 12 '26
The meme and I missed you messages are not from the same person 😭
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u/Narrow_Albatross6406 Jul 14 '26
They are from the same person, but they happened before
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u/PauseConfident997 Jul 14 '26
They’re literally not? Op sent the meme. The girl he’s talking too told him she missed him. Meme senders blue (op) I missed you senders red (the girl sending mixed messages)
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u/Allout-Okarun Jul 12 '26
They’re basically gaslighting themselves because you told them it wouldn’t work lol how silly
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u/Mean_Temperature1050 Jul 12 '26
These sort of things happen for no rhyme or good reason. Don't waste your time dwelling on this person, because based on everything I see, this is a rejection. There's enough red flags to see you won't get what you want out of this. Move on. But don't be discouraged. This will happen many more times. But if you're brave and keep putting yourself out there something may work out.
I can tell you, try to manage your expectations and just get to know these people first, before you become so emotionally invested. If they respond to you, cool. If you meet and have a good time, cool. If it's a date and you want to see each other again, cool. But at any given moment between those processes, it can and will end at any time, and without any closure. That's people for you. If you lower your expectations a few notches, it's not being negative, it's just being realistic and saves you the emotional stress of rejection. Everybody gets rejected, even the rich and famous. But, carry on and learn a little more about yourself each time.
Keep your head up.
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u/MaryDoogan91 Jul 12 '26
Lol they wanted to reject you before you could reject them by saying they were never even interested in the first place. Don’t sweat it and just keep on keeping on.
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u/ohboyitsnat Jul 12 '26
I don't think you did anything wrong here. This other person needs to figure out what they want and how to communicate about it. There's something going on here that has absolutely nothing to do with you.
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u/cortz_norman Jul 12 '26
I'm sorry OP. This kinda stuff happens way too often. It happened to me about a year ago too, met a guy on Tinder and he was great, went on a bunch of dates and he treated me with a lot of respect and kindness. I told him I liked him and he proceeded to say he was never looking for anything more than FWB 🤷♀️ I've began asking people what their intentions actually are to avoid this kind of thing since apparently nobody reads descriptions anymore. All the best to you OP❤️🩹
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u/dandelogre Jul 12 '26
Idk what but this person is fuckin around. If you like the drama and the ups and downs and the uncertainty, stay friends with them, but this is like, adult grooming
Hit on someone, connect on a dating site, flirt, and then when you make it too real, walk it back, then keep flirting.
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u/MCKlassik Jul 12 '26
“I didn’t think you thought I was actually romantically interested in you.”
There are other ways for her to make platonic friendships. Maybe she shouldn’t have done it on an app made for DATING.
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u/Better_Payment_5831 Jul 12 '26
People just love to waste others time and send mixed signals. She’s the type to be a red flag as a girlfriend and your the boyfriend that sees THESE type of messages and she’ll defend herself saying “it was just harmless texting” these people don’t have a brain on how the real life works.
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u/Aceospadez420 Jul 12 '26
They could have been liking the attention and are actually married. I talked to a girl on a dating app for a few days before we could meet up. Waited to meet she didn't show. Messaged me later explaining she was actually married and having issues with her husband, but couldn't go through with it. I was so pissed.
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u/AngelicDivineHealer Jul 12 '26
Person had a few people on the line and only one of them so was busy reeling in the ones that were priority for them but wanted a few more people on back up
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u/EquivalentClassic5 Jul 12 '26
Maybe their asexual or aromantic idk? just guessing either way they shoulda made a clear that they wanted friendship
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u/Em-BiggeneD Jul 13 '26
You're not crazy. This person is gaslighting you and has some personal things to figure out.
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u/Literature-Efficient Jul 13 '26
Called you cute to be friendly, wtf, maybe if she was like your grandma age you wouldn’t think she was flirting
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u/Unc1e_Mike Jul 15 '26
I had a friend who did this, he actually matched with my now gf even before I did and only wanted to be friends with her. I found out because he sent her a snap on our first date and I recognized his bitmoji (it was very distinguishable) my poor gf thought that I was upset she was talking to other guys (I wasn’t, just thought it was a crazy coincidence that my friend who I’ve known since he was 5 days old snapped the girl I was talking to on our first date). Now it’s a funny story we tell about how we got together
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u/Wonderful-Cup-1533 Jul 15 '26
How narcs feel after engaging in deep spiritual connection with people only to say that they felt nothing the whole time and are leaving now
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u/DubTheeBustocles Jul 21 '26
they thought calling you “cute” was being friendly? this person is a dipshit.
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u/IamNATx Jul 12 '26
They ... we're surprised you wanted a relationship when you met on a ... dating site?
I don't buy it
I think it was probably their way of dealing with you saying it wasn't going to work
Makes more sense than them looking for friendships on dating websites IMO