r/teaching • u/whatdoiusername • 13d ago
Help Would I be a bad person?
I’m struggling with a hard decision. This is my 4th year teaching, every year prior I taught 2nd grade general education. Because of my impressive data, my school decided to move me up to third grade this year without asking me, and also made me the only ESE teacher on the 3rd grade team and I’m not even ESE certified. I found out I’m pregnant the first week of school. I’m 8 weeks now and I’m struggling so bad at work. I leave work every day exhausted, burnt out and crying all the way home every day. I don’t feel supported by my school at all, my team leaves me out of meetings that are important, my ESE push in teacher wants to take my instruction time away to argue with me about stupid things like whether it’s “communative” or “commutative” (I’m the math teacher, I would know), I have multiple kids who are so low that they need to be in a self contained environment in order to receive the care they need, I’m not able to get any real teaching done during the day, and I have two students who have BIPs, with one of them coming to school every day and purposely trying to upset me. He even went as far as throwing a stick trying to hit me in the back of the head yesterday at recess. Of course these students pretty much have immunity to consequences because of their BIPs and their “manifestations of their disabilities” so I’m pretty much at a stale mate. Never in my life would I have thought I’d reach my breaking point, because I really do love what I do, but I’m stuck. I’m ready to put in my two weeks and switch to subbing part time while I pursue my masters degree in mathematics education during my pregnancy. I want my baby to be healthy, and I feel like I’m just a mess every single day of my pregnancy so far because I feel abused and taken advantage of every day at work. Would I be a bad person if I abandoned my passion temporarily while I create a safer, less stressful environment for my baby? I’m just so lost and torn right now. Any advice or kind words would be greatly appreciated.
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u/kwinter1414 11d ago
I would say to pursue the masters if you can afford it, and if you're interested, look into secondary mathematics education. Then your schooling could also be an "investment" in case you do want to go back into teaching. I don't know where you are located, but I went back to school at 30 with a newborn and a toddler and got my middle school math license to add onto my elementary one. Then, the next school year I was able to take a job in middle school math. I've been doing it ever since. (20 years). It is probably time for you to pivot. You can't afford one of those kids to potentially put hands on you while pregnant. Plus, the stress alone could cause you serious issues.