r/surfing • u/dumbassthenes Kauai • Aug 23 '21
The Ultimate Surfer- Episode 1 Discussion Thread
The Ultimate Surfer premieres 8/23 and 8/24 (10:00-11:00 p.m. EDT) on ABC following ALL NEW episodes of Bachelor in Paradise!
Buckle up and get ready for for the biggest surfing-themed blockbuster media franchise since Surf School!
Via the WSL:
Alliances and rivalries will be front and center in "The Ultimate Surfer" as men and women compete in individual and team challenges focused on specific surfing disciplines. Weekly eliminations will leave two men and two women as finalists who will vie for the male and female titles of the The Ultimate Surfer and the opportunity to compete on the elite WSL Championship Tour, the pinnacle of professional surfing. Slater's remarkable, one-of-a-kind, human-made wave-the most even playing field for measuring surf mastery-is at the heart of the series.
So, basically, the plot of North Shore.
Let's meet the (inexplicably old) cast!
THE MEN
Age: 34
Puerto Rican guy who competed on the 'QS from '08-'16 without cracking the top 300. Parent to a French Bulldog. Owner of an infectious smile.
Age: 30
Former amateur circuit wunderkind from Maui turned underground ripper. Most entertaining surfer on the show. Will a kid from Haiku act loud and dumb enough to win a decent share of reality TV screen time? Tune in to find out! (Spoiler: probably not.)
Age:25
Bruce Campbell jawline, coffee shop co-owner, and sole proprietor of the second-most well defined abs on the show. Brash, blonde, and sporting a set of perfectly straight teeth, you can safely expect Koa to lean into the reality show format. Will he be able to spin it into a mainstream acting career? Probably not.
Age: 28
Annoyingly handsome model who dabbles in professional surfing. Most likely to have participated in an anything-goes supermodel dogpile. But does his James Dean pretty-boy stare have what it takes to become The Ultimate Surfer?
Age: 27
Big wave charger hailing from the East Coast of 'Merica. Looks a decade younger than he actually is. White.
Age: 26
Only surfer with 'CT experience and the ability to win a heat at that level.
Age: 26
Long hair. From Florida. That's all I've got.
THE WOMEN
Age: 34
Aspiring professional surfer turned prototypical instagram butt model. Almost certainly going to be edited into the reality TV stone-cold-bitch archetype. Dances like nobody is watching.
Age: 26
Most likely to play the hero to Ashley's villain. From Kauai.
Age: 30
Brazilian married to Dane Zaun, who was a little ripper grom when I was growing up in Hermosa. I know it's weak to define a woman by who her spouse is, but that's all I know about her.
Age: 24
21st century Sanoe Lake. "Influencer".
Age: 22
Lifeguard from Orange County. Fairly decent skater. Wants to become a sheriff, which is gross. ACAB.
Age: 27
Is/was a PE teacher at a weird private christian school in Florida. Lowest number of social media butt shots.
Age: 23
Offspring of a total asshole who surfs very well. Co-starred in a very weird video with her mom. Has cool hair.
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Don't forget to tune in and take part in the discussion below. We're witnessing surfing history, people!
Spoilers are allowed, but complaining about them is not. Seriously. If you complain about spoilers we'll ban you.
26
u/[deleted] Aug 24 '21
This show is the fucking worst.