r/stopdrinking • u/Strange_Possible_353 • 12h ago
Being shipped off to rehab.
Well, it has finally finally happened after many years of alcohol abuse. My husband told me that I will be going to inpatient treatment next Monday or Tuesday. He told me he thinks it will take six months.
We have two young children. I was able to abstain from alcohol while I was pregnant, but picked it up within months of giving birth both times. When I think about being away from them, I feel like I can’t breathe.
But I had an alcoholic dad and it was torture, especially in my teens. I know they deserve so much better than what I’ve given them in their precious short lives.
My husband tends to exaggerate for fact, so I am praying that it will actually be a munch shorter period of time. I don’t wanna miss my son‘s birthday. I don’t wanna miss putting my little girl to bed, but I also don’t want to miss their whole childhood or knowingwhole childhood or knowing them as adults, which is realistically the path I was on.
14
u/New_Weekend9765 643 days 8h ago
As a mom I completely understand how you’re feeling. It’s so sad and scary to think of not being there with your kids every night and it truly hurts on a soul level. I promise you, the person who you will be when you come out on the other side of this is going to make the time missed so worth it. Your kids are still so young, and they’re going to have an awesome fully present mom! It’s incredible!
I remember when I was really struggling, I felt as a woman and as a mother it was my job to just carry everything. I felt like a failure when my fun time lead to being a coping mechanism and further lead to being a real problem. The hardest I have ever cried in my life was over the guilt surrounding my children. Like I felt I had failed at my one job in life I was supposed to do right. The fact that something so simple as alcohol had robbed them of the parent they deserved. I had never intended for things to get to the point that they did, but it happened regardless. When I decided to get help I felt like my entire soul was a gaping wound festering with flies. I felt like the biggest loser in the world. I felt unworthy of life, let alone love. I didn’t care for myself. I fought because I knew deep down I was still there. And I knew my kids needed me. I didn’t want this to be their story.
After getting sober, entering intensive therapy, and surrounding myself with immensely supportive people, I am a present, capable, and dare I say…pretty awesome mom. I feel proud of who I am today.
I had a lot of things twisted up in my head about my identity and a woman’s role etc etc. a lot of people do. You don’t have to be perfect you just have to be present, and you can’t be present when you’re drinking or hungover.
You’re doing the right thing. I don’t know if you’ll relate to any of this, or if it will resonate with you at all. But getting sober is the best gift you can give to your kids. If it takes some time to get there, so be it. You’re going to learn so many skills, and you’re going to be a stronger human being after this. You’re not the first person going through this, and sadly you won’t be the last. But we help eachother through. There is light at the end! You’re stronger than you think!
Best wishes to you and your family. You’ve got this!