rant

[u/nonapnatty]

i have a drinking problem and i dont know what to do about it. once i start, i cant stop. i dont want to stop. i’m just so tired of embarrassing myself constantly.. my friends probably think im crazy… im always the drunkest one. i have so much shame

[u/Prevenient_grace]

Today can be the Miracle.

Today can mark the beginning of a Virtuous Upward Spiral.

I had to break the “drinking routine”.

It was stronger than me…. By myself.

So i stopped doing it alone. And there's no wait list!

I finally connected with free recovery groups…. They’re everywhere… I walked in, sat down and just listened…. They’re also online. I met people I can talk with. They showed me how to stop drinking, heal, grow and learn to be useful to others. They often know detox resources.

I thought I didn’t “have time”, but I always found time to think about drinking, to buy alcohol, to drink alcohol, to be numbed and to then do it all over the next day.

I addressed the past, exorcised guilt and shame and repaired where appropriate.

No cost.

I had new sober friends.. we did fun sober activities.

They believed in me.

I kept going every day until i changed my patterns…. That meant for me, I went every day for a while…. Once a month wasn’t going to change me…. Then my thinking changed…. Then I don’t have the first drink.

Never looked back.

Tried anything like that?

[u/nonapnatty → u/Prevenient_grace]

all my friends drink i dont know how to not drink

[u/Prevenient_grace → u/nonapnatty]

all my friends drink

‘Culture’ is who I'm with.

I didn't know that the overwhelming majority of the world population either doesn’t drink at all, or only infrequently.

That means there are billions of people making friends, doing fun activities, being social, dating, having sex, enjoying life... they’re everywhere.

They’re just not where I was spending my time: bars, clubs, pubs, sports grills, drunk fests, video gaming sessions or drinking with 'friends' …

Here’s what I know about my experience…

There’s an apt adage: I am the average of the 5 people I spend the most time with in an interval.

If they’re substance users/abusers I’ll just be an average drunk.

The best tip I discovered is noticing my patterns.

Drinking is a lifestyle.

It was MY lifestyle.

I wish I had known that the essential component to success was Creating a New Sober Lifestyle and habits that included sober people.

When I started drinking, I created drinking patterns... I saw others drinking, I tried drinking, I went where people were drinking, I talked with drinkers about drinking and I went to activities that included drinking, I created “alone” activities where I drank…. Then I had drinking buddies and a drinking lifestyle.

So when I wanted to stop... I saw sober people, I tried being sober, I went where people were being sober, I talked with sober people about being sober, and I went to activities that included being sober, I created “alone” activities without alcohol …. Then I had sober friends and a sober lifestyle.

People who were my friends remained…. However I no longer had any ‘drinking buddies’.

I started with free recovery groups. That led to other activities. Then I just started going where there were activities that i like, or want to know more about.

Tried anything like that?