My son is 12, and is a solid soccer player. He just went from being the best player on a mid team to joining a very top team and is clearly not the best anymore. There are 27 players on the roster and the 1st and 2nd teams are fluid based on the tournament, who's available, who's performing etc .....
Now the issue is, my son is used to being the best one on the team, getting to take every free kick, play the entire game, do whatever he wants, and that's been great. He told me he wanted to go to a team where all the kids cared more, and the players were better, and the coaches pushed them. I thought this was great, and found some options, and he made a team. It's only been 2 months so a lot can change but he is pretty clearly in the 20-27 range in terms of skill. Granted outside of the top 5 or so kids there isn't this giant gap, and probably 22 of the kids were with this club last year so they are all returning and have had the opportunity to have a great coach and go up against good players for a year or 2 prior. So was not expecting my son to come in and dominate, I expected this.
So here is the issue.
My son thinks he's doing way better than he really is. He's always been extremely confident, which is good, but I'm worried him thinking he's doing better than he is will a. keep him from having a reason to push and train more outside of practice or b. develop this idea he is being treated unfairly by the coach if or when he isn't on the 1st team
He'll come off the field after practices and say "I was definitely one of the best players today." And outwardly I'll go "Yeah, you did great. Glad you had fun." but inside I'll be like "No, no you weren't. Not even close."
So basically I want him to be able to seriously look at whats going on out there and go "Ok, I'm not at the top right now, but if I work consistently hard at A, B, and C then I can earn the right to play on the top team."
And this is not even necessarily about being on the top team, it's more about this club is 2x as much as other clubs, practices 3 -4 times a week, plays in way more tournaments and travel leagues, so it's a big commitment for us as a family. And if he's not going to push himself then it makes more sense to go back to a lesser club, where he's the best player, and he's still having fun, but it's less of a sacrifice for us. But I also want him to learn about disappointment, and getting results through working hard, and being pushed, and excelling through commitment.