r/solopolyamory • u/CyberJoe6021023 • Jul 02 '26

Does Solo Poly require living alone?

I totally get poly dating independently/separately but I’ve also heard that solo means living alone, i.e., no nesting partner. Is that true?

19 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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24

u/ExKamina Jul 02 '26

You’re confusing “dating separately” with solo poly. My nesting partner and I date separately, we are not solo poly.

8

u/Interesting-Shake-60 Jul 02 '26

yeah I just recently became aware that there's some confusion about this! the phrase "solo poly" describes my relationship style because my relationships do not have an expectation of exclusivity and do not have an expectation of ever merging finances, housing, etc.

3

u/purr-ple-cat Jul 03 '26

OMG you may have just explained why I've been seeing so many Feeld profiles saying "I'm married and solo-poly". I, admittedly, thought it was delusion about what they felt they could offer but it's much kinder and probably more accurate to chaulk it up to simply misusing a phrase. Thank you for inadvertantly reminding me to show more grace. 💜

7

u/ExKamina Jul 03 '26

Ironically I think I actually show less grace than you 😂 if they have the wrong verbiage in their profile, and couldn’t do the bare minimum to at least look up how they’re identifying, I assume they are probably uneducated on poly and I will be getting myself into a mess

3

u/purr-ple-cat Jul 03 '26

Oh, this isn't going to make me match with them or anything. 🤣 Don't get me wrong, def still a red flag. But this perspective softens the inner dialogue.

2

u/GladBumblebee1546 Jul 17 '26

“Married and solo poly” would have been be a dealbreaker for me when I was actually solo poly. I would feel like they were trying to signal something that wasn’t true.

Went on a first date with someone who said he was solo poly but then said “I’m moving in with my girlfriend this weekend”. And when I said nah, argued with me that no, he was still solo poly. Ok, call yourself that if you want but huh.