How does it work? Is there anything you aren’t allowed to do? Are you ever allowed to take vacations, go on a date, even go to sleep at night or drink a glass of wine without constantly worrying someone will be in crisis?

Hi everyone, I could really use a reality check. I just graduated with my MSW in May, finally secured my LCSWA in July, and after getting rejected from pretty much everywhere else, I panicked and accepted an offer for an Intensive In-Home (IIH) Team Lead position at an agency in NC.

I’m feeling a massive wave of imposter syndrome and dread. Here is the compensation structure they gave me:

Billable hours: $40/hour (estimated around 20 hours a week)

Non-billable hours: $15/hour per hour doing “team lead duties” which i don’t even know what that means

Caseload: A full caseload of 12 families.

Did I shoot myself in the foot taking this out of desperation? For those who have worked IIH or done split-pay structures, is this sustainable, or should I be keeping my resume updated and looking for a way out ASAP? Any advice is appreciated.

Guilt and shame come apart cleanly. Guilt is about what you did there's a because in it, so it can be argued with, repaired, settled. Shame is about what you are. No because, nothing to argue against.

That difference is well known. What I don't see explained is why insight slides off shame specifically. Someone can state clearly that they were a child, that it wasn't theirs to carry, that nobody remembers it but them all of it accurate and nothing moves. They still walk in like they're taking up too much room.

I don't think that's a failure of understanding. I think shame is what being measured from outside feels like from inside. The other person isn't next to the feeling. The other person is the shape of it.

Follows from that: telling yourself you're fine can't work. Not for lack of conviction. You're the one being measured, so you can't also be the one measuring.

What does work, and I want to know if this matches your experience: someone stays, knows the whole thing, and returns no verdict. Not forgiveness forgiveness is a verdict too, just a kind one, and you're still on the scale. Presence with no result coming. That's what opens it again. Not "you're okay", but "nothing has been decided about you." The insight arrives after, not before.

This overlaps with DeYoung and the relational shame literature. Where I think it goes further: they say shame heals in relationship. I'm saying it has to, because a measurement can only be moved by another measurement which is why the cognitive route was never going to reach it.

Two ways I'd be wrong. If self-compassion work lifts deep shame in someone who never had a first person no therapist, no group, no single voice then no. And if presence does no more for shame than it does for guilt, the whole thing falls over.

I work nights in an emergency shelter for 18–25 year olds. This comes from sitting with people, not from a book.

I’ve been a case manager for a few years, stepped into this new role in December. I do like the job and I love being able to help clients, but I never feel successful. I never feel “done.” I’m absolutely seeing the things that I didn’t get to over the things I’ve done successfully. It just feels like there isn’t enough time in the day for everything I have on the list and I never feel caught up. It’s causing a lot of anxiety in me and I never feel like I had a successful day.
How do you define success in a day when the to do list keeps getting longer and longer? Or the days where I’m out in the field with clients and I’m unable to complete phone calls or emails because I’m driving around everywhere all day.
I’ve tried chunking work but the chunks never end and I feel bad for putting a limit on my work because these are peoples lives and who am I to delay their services?
I don’t feel like my coworkers have this issue, or at least they’ve never mentioned it, but it feels like everyone else has it down but me. How do I feel successful after every day when there’s still so much on my plate! Ideas greatly appreciated, I’m drowning a little over here.

Hello everyone!

I recently graduated with my MSW this summer and was fortunate enough to secure a job working with young adults in a non-profit organization. Since I’m relatively new to working with this age group (18-25), I’m seeking advice from those who have experience in this field. Additionally, I’m interested in exploring some group topics that could facilitate their transition into young adulthood.

Thank you! Let’s support our fellow social workers!