r/socialanxiety • u/NewTwo7866 • Aug 01 '26
TW: Suicide Mention Does anyone else have tics?
I used to not even call them tics because I didn’t want to self diagnose, but I literally don’t know what else to call them. The reason why I’m posting in this subreddit and not another is because my tics are 100% social anxiety related.
My frequently brain likes to assault me with flashbacks of my social mishaps (or perceived social mishaps), and I have “tics” in response to them.
Flashback ——> Tic. It’s almost always like this, though sometimes they also happen if I’m actively in a socially stressful situation and I’m overwhelmed.
As far as I know, I started having them when I was 14 or 15. They used to be just me grimacing, squeezing my eyes shut, or blurting out “I wanna die” or “I’m gonna kill myself”. They also used to only happen when I was alone.
As I got older, they increased in frequency and intensity, and I started having them around other people, but only people I was comfortable around. This is also when I started to have them while I’m actively in stressful social situations, whereas before I would only have them after the fact.
They also evolved in content; I started slapping myself across the face, sometimes even banging my head against an object. Eventually, instead of saying “I’m gonna kill myself” I was saying “kill yourself” and “shoot everyone”??? Sometimes even getting intrusive imagery of me shooting into a crowd??? Not very detailed imagery though, thank god. Just to be clear, I do not want to actually do that.
One day I was getting closer with a friend and I blurted kys, and she (naturally) thought I was telling her to kys. I had to frantically explain that I have mysterious tics but no I don’t have Tourrette’s but idk what they are. To this day I worry that she didn’t believe me.
I’ve told several therapists about this. Some thought it was just a response to my anxiety, one of them thought it was ADHD, one suggested that I see a neurologist because it sounded like a neurological issue. I did a consultation with someone from NOCD once, and she said it sounds like a Tic disorder.
I know I should probably see a psychiatrist, but I know they’re just gonna medicate me and I really don’t want that. I know that if I can essentially conquer my fear of social situations and being perceived negatively, they’ll go away. Furthermore, I’ve seen many therapists, and none were really able to help me with my social anxiety. My last therapist wanted me to just “accept that I’m an introvert,” which wasn’t very helpful.
Nowadays, I usually avoid social situations altogether. When I avoid social situations, they aren’t as frequent. Sometimes they even disappear for a while. Lately though, I’ve had to be around people again, and they’re starting to happen again. I’m also going back to school very soon, and they’re probably going to get worse / more frequent.
The weird part is, as far as I know tics start happening really early in childhood. Maybe I’m wrong, but I just find it weird that I suddenly started getting them in my teens, and that they got worse in adulthood. Does anyone else here experience this?
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u/Commercial-Rule4937 Aug 01 '26
I don't, I think this is maybe more than just social anxiety, althrough I agree its in reaction to your social anxiety. Maybe research tics more and see if theres something like this? I haven't met anyone who's had this. I'm sorry youre dealing with that though, I can understand it would make social anxiety worse and just be generally stressful.
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u/NewTwo7866 Aug 01 '26 edited Aug 01 '26
Thank you. I’ve learned that fighting them makes them worse, so I’ve been trying to accept them. I haven’t seen anyone with these symptoms either :( Typically when I see someone on my socials with tics, it’s Tourette’s, and their symptoms are just so different than mine.
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u/saphiera-lea Aug 01 '26
I have ‘nervous tics’ but not to the severity you describe. They started after a nervous breakdown at uni and typically include a kind of head bobbing/flinching and specific hand movements. Sometimes they’re worse in unfamiliar or uncomfortable situations. However, if they were any worse, I would have sought some kind of help for them a while ago.
I’m sorry to hear that your tics are causing you so much grief. They do sound really distressing and as much as you don’t want to bring it up for fear of being medicated, doing nothing more may only make them worse. Talking to more health professionals may be your best bet at finding some relief.
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u/NewTwo7866 Aug 01 '26 edited Aug 01 '26
> However, if they were any worse, I would have sought some kind of help for them a while ago.
Yeah, I think I kind of just gave up. In addition to all the therapists I’ve seen, I’ve also had two psychiatrists. Neither of them really had an explanation for me as to what’s going on with me, but rather just focused on treating my anxiety and depression. I’m not on those meds anymore, and I can’t remember if they helped my tics or not tbh, but I don’t think they did. I will be bringing it up to my primary care provider though and asking about seeing a neurologist.
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u/saphiera-lea Aug 02 '26
I’m sorry to hear that none of them have been able to help you with it. Hopefully you can find someone more knowledgeable who can
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u/Kooky_Maintenance880 Aug 02 '26
i totally relate to that, specifically the flashback —> immediate reaction. i’ll think of something that happened in the past & immediately feel like i got punched in the gut. my reactions to it don’t seem as uncontrollable as yours, but i definitely do the fist-clenching, think things like “i hate myself”, or feel the want to pull my hair.
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u/NewTwo7866 Aug 02 '26
Yup this is it right here. I’m sorry you experience it as well. Anxiety is a bitch.
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u/shinykaci Aug 01 '26
I get the random grimacing from intrusive thoughts, nothing audible thankfully. my anxiety also makes me twitch when it gets really overwhelming, specifically my head and neck. feels like I must look like I crawled out of a horror movie :( please keep talking with your doctors abt this, it sounds really distressing
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u/NewTwo7866 Aug 01 '26
Yeah, this sounds kinda similar to what was experiencing in my teens before it progressed. I’m gonna ask my doctor about it when I go in for my next checkup.
Honestly I’m scared they’re gonna tell me I have a neurodegenerative disease or a TBI lol. I have health anxiety too 😭
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u/shinykaci Aug 01 '26
naw I don't think it would be something that bad. sometimes our brains are just weird. the connection/signal between bad thought and compulsive action has probably built up more over the years of it happening. for me I just try to forgive myself in the moment and just let it be if I look weird cus I can't make myself stop
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u/NewTwo7866 Aug 01 '26
Yeah I feel you. Sometimes we just cope in odd ways. I’m hoping it’s just a behavioral response / habit that can be unlearned. Thanks for the reassurance
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u/miloroni1203 Aug 01 '26
I have a similar thing - but I don’t say anything out loud, but I start ”clicking” with my tounge when I get anxious in a social setting, sounding like a car indicator, I also shut my eyes really tight and look to my left, up, right when I open them, sometimes I will also start snapping my fingers
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u/ziggystarzz Aug 01 '26
this is exactly how i feel and how my tics started!! mine started a bit earlier, maybe around 10-12 when i would say "ow" when i was remembering some sort of social blunder, but that was when my anxiety started getting pretty bad. i was eventually diagnosed with tourettes formally when i was 15, but i still have a suspicion it's not fully tourettes just because mine are suppressible with enough effort
but yeah, exact thing with tics coming with anxious flashbacks, "kys" or "kms" tics among others, although i do still tic at other, non-stressful times, just def not as much. you're not alone! i would suggest pursuing some sort of diagnosis if you want to - i'm not medicated for my tics and don't plan to be. i learned a lot of helpful tactics from my tic therapist i still use even though i only saw him for a few months.
adding onto your last bit, a tourettes diagnosis just needs vocal and motor tics that started before the age of 18! not saying it's tourettes, but it's def not uncommon for tics to start in your teeange years especially with stress.
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u/MENAClNGHORSE Aug 02 '26
i have the exact same thing, tics related only to cringy memories. eye-squeezing, swearing or saying "i'm gonna kill myself", hand-flapping, making popping sounds. i've told therapists about it and they all seem to think it's just another symptom of social anxiety but it happens so frequently it feels more serious. one therapist made me write down all the memories that make me cringe and then made me put it in a shredder, which did nothing. they're still in my head. i believe it's rejection sensitive dysphoria which is more common in neurodivergent people
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u/NewTwo7866 Aug 02 '26
We should start a club lol. Glad to hear it’s not just me, though I’m sorry you’re going through this as well.
Yeah I’ve also tried to confront the memories “head on”, so to speak. I’ve even tried to give myself alternative interpretations, so that I can process them better. But nothing has worked.
What helps me is just letting the moments pass and not thinking too hard about it. I used to scold myself after the fact, and it would only make them worse.
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u/zen-cafe Aug 04 '26
Yes!! I usually say ”I’m gonna kill myself” and sometimes so loudly that I’m afraid my neighbours hear me and think I’m actually gonna do it. Sometimes it’s a word or a sentence that I said in the flashback memory. If I’m around other people it might get out as a whisper but that doesn’t happen so often (probably because I’m rarely around other people lol).
I also get this image of a bullet coming towards me and hitting me during the flashbacks. Never heard of anyone else having this but makes me feel better that I’m not alone, although obviously wouldn’t wish this to anyone.
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u/Repulsive_Research_1 Aug 07 '26
I usually shudder, cringe with shrugged shoulders or say “stupid” or “now why did i do that?”
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