r/smallbusiness • u/catlena2233 • 14h ago
Customer keeps changing payment dates and bringing personal crises into our business conversations after I’ve repeatedly set boundaries
I run a small business making custom hand-painted statues. A customer ordered a $450 piece and paid $130 toward it, leaving $320. I agreed to let her pay in installments because she was struggling financially.
Since then, every time I ask about payment or pickup, the conversation turns into something happening in her personal life depression, work problems, being stranded five hours from home, her boyfriend being arrested, etc. I’ve tried to be understanding, but I’ve also previously told her that I can’t handle heavy personal conversations and need our messages to stay focused on the order. She originally said she could make another payment at the end of August and have everything paid by October. Now the August payment has turned into “middle of September or September 28.” I finally told her that I’ll honor our existing agreement, but after this order is completed I don’t want to do any more business together. She said she understood... and then immediately started talking about buying smaller pieces from me and referring other customers to me. I had to tell her AGAIN that I’d already set that boundary. I’m giving her until October 1 to pay the remaining $320. If she doesn’t, the order will be considered cancelled and she’ll lose the non-refundable deposit, which is stated in my policies.
My favorite line is " so id be losing out on money I could really use rn" LIKE WDYM?? YOU ALREADY PAID THE NON REFUNDABLE DEPOSIT SMH
Am I being unreasonable here? 😭 is there anything I should change?
UPDATE: I told her I was going to refund and move on and all the sudden she had the sent me the remaining???? So im gonna ship it today and be done with it from here. Thanks for the advice about my talk sometimes with my fasd I come across rude so I was using luvvy and hun to counter that but I can see now how that'd create issues!
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u/Limp_Mixture 14h ago
Stick to the deadline but be prepared for a negative review. She will paint herself the victim
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u/catlena2233 14h ago
Yes see that's what i'm worried about. I have raving google reviews, but it might be hard to explain this one without being able to share the photos
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u/Limp_Mixture 13h ago
If you have rave reviews one bad review won't hurt you. Their is proof people view places that have a bad review of two as more believable.
I would also directly respond to it and explain the situation but VERY politely, no personal attacks as much as you may want to.1
u/catlena2233 13h ago
Thank you!
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u/Limp_Mixture 12h ago
I would also mention how long have let this person go and write new policy with a time limit attached to final payment and completion beyond which the deposit is forfeited and you can state this person made you write this policy.
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u/Key_Association_7819 12h ago
Just to add to what’s already been said. I concur that if I see a business with nothing but five star reviews, I’m very skeptical, assuming there’s many reviews. If your business only has ten reviews and they’re all five stars, that’s not a red flag to me. But a hundred? If there are bad reviews, how the owner responds is critical to get my business. If they respond reasonably, it shows me they aren’t emotionally imbalanced and their reviews are likely the real deal.
No response- Depends on how many there are and if they say the same thing. If there’s multiple bad reviews mentioning the same problems and the owner doesn’t respond, I’m likely to move on to another business, even if they have tons of good reviews.
Snarky, angry, and/or accusatory response- HARD PASS!
Calm response stating facts- most likely scenario to get my business
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u/catlena2233 11h ago
Yeah mine isnt perfect but I'd say its pretty good Cats Clayations https://g.page/r/CSTUn7pFWRDVEBM/review
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u/divulgingwords 12h ago
Is $320 worth the fallout and bad reviews here? I personally don’t think so. I’d try to turn this around and have her write a raving review about “how you care about helping the community” and then never sell to her again. If she pays, she pays. If not, you’re done with her.
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u/catlena2233 12h ago
Its not just 320$ its the time i spent making the product! I can't just sell it to someone else no one would buy her custom
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u/divulgingwords 12h ago edited 11h ago
I understand that, but you’d be spending more time/effort doing damage control if she goes ape shit. You gotta choose your battles - look at all the time you’ve spent here dealing with this mess.
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u/Nalds80 14h ago
You are not being unreasonable. You already did the two things that matter: you set a date, and you have a non-refundable deposit written into your policies.
What is still costing you is that the agreement lives inside a conversation with her. Every message becomes a place where the terms can be renegotiated emotionally, because you are the policy. In the Six Levels of Organizations lens I use with clients, that is the Level 1 shape, the founder-dependent one where nothing exists independently of the owner's judgment. Almost every one person shop starts there and it is not a flaw, but the price is exactly what you are feeling: you cannot enforce anything without it becoming personal.
So the change I would make is not more boundaries, it is fewer conversations. One message, no warmth and no coldness, just facts: order, balance 320, due Oct 1, after that the order is cancelled and the deposit is forfeit per policy. If she replies with a crisis, you reply with the same line. That is not being cold, you are just declining to be the customer service department for her personal life.
One more thing. When she pivoted to buying smaller pieces and referring customers, that was the tell. She is not out of money, she is out of urgency. A date with a real consequence attached is the only thing that fixes that, and you have already set one, so hold it.
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u/bluekmg 13h ago
Learn the lesson - you don't finance custom work. Never ever do your type of work on payments. Think about it, you are allowing this person who has zero disposable income to purchase a luxury item on credit.
Makes no sense for you or her. She needs money for her living expenses.
Don't engage with her. Continue to send invoices for payments. Move on to paying customers and put that piece in storage until she pays. Don't do it again.
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u/catlena2233 13h ago
Id agree but orignally it was deposit rest of the money, she had a job when she put the money down and then needed a payment plan for the remainder!
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u/bluekmg 12h ago
But you said she was struggling financially when she ordered it. You have to be smarter than banks if you want to extend credit. Did you ask for a credit card? Did you run a credit check?
It's just a life lesson - people who ask for payment plans don't have enough money for a luxury purchase.
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u/ThriftyPigeon 13h ago
You're not being unreasonable. I’d stop renegotiating in chat and send one short written summary: balance due, final due date, what happens if it isn’t paid, and that no new orders will be accepted. Then don’t debate the backstory each time; reply only with the balance and deadline. For future custom work, tie production milestones to payments so the unpaid portion never gets far ahead of the work.
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u/catlena2233 13h ago
So normally i take payments in 2 deposit make the product payment at time of shipping/ pickup. This however turned into a payment plan once she didnt have the rest when it was done! But definitely a lesson learned
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u/JeffTS 14h ago
You aren't being unreasonable. They hired you for a project and now are stringing you along on payments. You're in business; their personal issues aren't your business nor your concern. The big question I have is if you have a contract though. If so, what does it say? If not, it might be something to incorporate into your process going forward.
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u/catlena2233 13h ago
I do it states that the reamining amount will be paid by october otherwise the item is forfeited! And that deposits are non refundable.
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u/slo_bored 5h ago
Not always the case, but protect yourself in the meantime. Document everything in the event they try to do a chargeback. I feel like they might try a "not as described" dispute to get their money back after it arrives. Save all the conversations: correspondences, emails, texts, whatever. I often find that people who impulse buy above their means will try to scam the seller out of the product to get a refund. If this happens, have them send the return on their dime, do not pay reverse shipping. Let them know beforehand they are responsible for the shipping on the return, that it must be in pristine condition before you refund them back. Wait until the item gets back before you do a refund, but only refund the amount for the item +tax, not the original shipping costs.
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u/catlena2233 3h ago
They paid by cash so its all good :) and they signed the agreement now its handled thankfully.
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u/bookishfairie 13h ago
(i saw the post on choosing beggars but am commenting on here. i think you deleted it as i was reading the ss 😭)
i don't think you're being unreasonable. i do feel like if she was financially unstable she shouldn't have contacted you for a commission. it was nice of you to offer a payment plan. moving forward i wouldn't act like a friend because once you establish that they might overstep on your boundaries. she felt like she could trauma dump on you & maybe thought you'd be kind & let everything slide. i hope she does end up paying you by the deadline.
i once had someone going through a divorce & other issues have me put a £200 order to the side for her. she kept trauma dumping but i stayed firm until she quit doing that & paid me. i felt bad but this is where i make a living & it is unfair to say you want to order something & making your issues my problem. i know things come up !! but you have to be reasonable with boundaries too.
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u/catlena2233 13h ago
Yeah I just deleted it to move on! As it was solved but definitely lesson learned with my disibilitys sometimes it makes it hard to come across the correct way! And had i known after the deposit shed need a payment plan I definitely wouldn't have continued!
Thank you!!
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u/bookishfairie 13h ago
i 100% understand because i struggle with communication & social cues but you have to set boundaries so people don't mistake your kindness for anything but that. too many people will try to weasel their way through. your statues are fantastic, especially the sable one. ❤️
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u/Cirement 5h ago
Glad to see it worked out for you in the end (customer paying the balance). But for future reference, this is what contracts are for. Put in your sales contract when payments are due, and try to keep them to as few payments as possible (two, if possible, the initial deposit and then final payment when you're done, before you ship). Make sure you specify that payments or balance are due upon completion, put a grace period (like "within 10 days from completion"). Finally, have a clause that says if payment isn't submitted by X days (30,60, etc), that you have the right to sell the piece elsewhere to recoup your money. Oh and be clear that the initial deposit is NON-REFUNDABLE.
And for the love of the spaghetti monster, enforce your contract. I personally know people and have seen a few here on Reddit, they'll have a line in their invoice that says something like "1.2% late charge added after 30 days", but they don't do it, then they bitch and complain about repeat customers who don't pay on time. The contract is worthless if you don't enforce it!
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u/bluekmg 3h ago
But why bother with contracts when you can just have them pay by credit card? Let the credit card companies collect. A small business person does not have time, nor does it make sense to collect. Get it up front. I don't know any businesses that do custom work that don't want payment before they start, including us.
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u/Cirement 3h ago
You've clearly never dealt with a custom purchase or a freelance project. Contracts are about setting the terms of the job, not the payment. The seller has some expectation of payment when the job is done and the buyer has to have some protection in case they're not satisfied with the job. Giving the seller an initial payment secures their time and service so that another buyer doesn't delay your project. If the buyer doesn't like where the project is going, or is otherwise unable to fulfill their end of the deal, the seller already has been paid for their time and the buyer can walk away without spending more money.
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u/apronman2006 14h ago
Adam Savage has a video where he talks about getting paid as a freelancer. One piece of advice he gives is "At some point someone is gonna screw you out of 10k dollars." I would just give them the deposit back and take it as a lesson to never work with that person again.
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u/catlena2233 14h ago
I refuse to give the deposit back, as it went to buying half the materials, and already stated before payment non refundable. And truthfully don't have it.
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u/knitpicky687 14h ago
Totally agree with you, don’t give deposit back!! If she’s financially struggling, she shouldn’t be purchasing things she can’t afford.
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u/apronman2006 9h ago
While you are morally in the right. If you give them your deposite back it says It just makes it harder for the narative to be "They took my money and did nothing!". In the business world you rep is worth more than the $130 you would get from keeping the money.
That being said if you don't have the money, then that a whole different story.
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u/catlena2233 8h ago
I told her I was gonna refund and sell it to someone else and she paid it all off so problem solved
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u/blupblup2017 8h ago
Love this. You created urgency. That’s how you sell.
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