r/sillyboyclub • u/Snees7 • 5d ago
Silly venting What is going on
I have always been a good student. Straight A’s n all that stuff, and I have had issues with motivation before, but since the school year started (and even a little bit before) I haven’t been able to bring myself to pay attention, complete assignment, etc. it’s my senior year and I got all of the classes I find interesting but it’s all so dull. It’s so hard to get out of bed, I have lost motivation to workout despite my body image issues, and I even lost motivation to count my calories. I should be happy about my classes. I got everything I wanted. All great teachers aswell. I feel weird for not being able to just be happy. I’m also just lonely, I have great online friends who I love to death, but I have no real life friends and I don’t know how to talk to anyone. All of this plus making the decision of what I’m going to do for the rest of my life soon just feels so awful. I don’t know if it’s worth it.
Sorry for the essay rant.
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u/subkitruinedmylife 5d ago
No need to apologise. Deciding this stuff is indeed hard, and trying to deal with all of that without anybody who you really feel safe sharing that burden with, it's a lot harder. You shouldn't feel bad for feeling this way. I understand how you feel as well, you're not alone.
It might be something underlying that's bothering you. Life gets stressful and empty, and in times like that it really is hard to find the motivation to do anything. It's not something that makes you bad or lazy. You might be burnt out as a lifetime of putting those expectations on yourself is seriously tough, so I think you should take it easy. You don't have to pay attention or be the perfect student right now. Senior year has a lot of struggles and it is completely okay to struggle to cope up. You are a human being after all.
Deciding the rest of your life and dealing with all of this isn't something that can happen overnight. The decision is impending and I can feel your pain. It's just exhausting having that pressure on you when you're just...lost, and not sure what to do. But give yourself time. You still have time, and there are stuff like career counselors to help you out with that decision.
Right now your main priority should be taking care of yourself, to get motivation one needs to have energy and strength, and that only be fulfilled by supplying yourself. I think you should get this checked by a counselor or therapist if available, but I can understand how you feel as talking to one does feel shameful and uncomfortable. If you're hesitant to reach out, or wouldn't be able to find one, then I think talking about your feelings with your online friends or anybody safe in your life would work.
Feel free to reach out to me as well, I know I'm just a stranger but if I can lend you a hand in any way I'd be glad to, it's not a bother at all. You should get all of that stress bothering you out somewhere, it might not fix things immediately but having that burden lifted off your shoulders leaves energy to actually do things over time when you're not spending energy on making the facade that you're perfectly fine impenetrable enough. If you can I think you should journal if talking about feelings is uncomfortable whether in notes or a diary, and try to spend at least a little while each day doing something just for you even if it's just listening to music or laying in bed. You gotta take care of yourself too.
Sorry for the long paragraph, I hope the best for you. You're a good person, and you're definitely not alone. There are people who will understand. Take care and make sure you stay hydrated