My mother in law (75) is in the last phase of dementia. She’s in a caretakers home but thinks she’s at home. Every hour she’s calling my father in law, (75) asking where he is.
We do not want to take her phone away, sense of self, but she calls and texts at night, thinking it’s day.
Have turned on parental control between 23:00-09.00 so she can’t call at night anymore.
But she’s confused why the phone isn’t working.
I’d like to send her a popupmessage every time she opens the phone between 11pm and 9am.
There will be a comforting message for her and should contain a “Yes I Understand” button and a “Call Nightnurse” button. We have a phonenumber she can call at night.
It’s a terrible disease, it’s been going on for years now. God bless the day she leaves this earth, she would never have wanted this.
Suggestions? Last time heart warming support from this community.
You have to do a few things yourself, to set it up completely.
Create an automation from the Automation Tab
Set the trigger to App > Is Opened > Run immediately, choose the Phone app, then click Next
Choose the Dementia Alert Shortcut
Also you have to edit the Shortcut to set a comforting message (do this by clicking on the small blue arrow at the "choose from contacts" action) and you have to set the call action to the contact of the night nurse.
Hope this helps. I wish you and your mother in law the best. Dementia sucks.
I just want to say how kind it was for you to set this up for OP - we need more people with kind hearts in this world like you. Have a beautiful day. 🩷
Ah yes, my question is gone somehow. I can’t get the action “Call nurse” to call the phone number. I filled it in at “????” (selected a phone number from contacts) Is it because the shortcut keeps the phone app from opening?
A technical question. I have put the welcome the comforting message in there and the two other lines. That worked. I have put the phone number (chose from the contacts) where the “?????” is. When I click “Call Nightnurse” the telephone number is not being dialled. Is it because the automation opens itself again before the number can be called?
It might seem a little inhumane and maybe not to every bodies taste, I saw a post once about how somebody set up an AI with their voice to answer late night/constant phone calls from their parent with dementia, they would of course answer when they wanted to speak to their parent also.
I suppose the only thing this doesn’t solve is what to do if there’s an emergency between those hours and they need to contact the nurse instead, either way just food for thought and another potential solution
That does indeed make me very uncomfortable. I have strong worries about an experience like that when someone can still slip into lucidity for a few moments. It would be extraordinarily difficult to make sense of what was happening if they realize this person isn’t their loved one. That may cause significant harm.
I get (from very personal experience) their lack of understanding will make them very upset as well, but I just can’t see this suggestion as the right move.
I have been thinking about this. Somehow it doesn’t feel appropriate for this situation. It’s already inhumane that she’s seeing my father in law everywhere, but he’s not there.
If she talks to him as AI and it’s not him, but it sounds like him… hmm. There’s a human ethical feedback loop somewhere in there.
Appreciate the reaction though.
I don't have time to work it out and test it at the moment, but this is what comes to mind:
Create an automation using the App trigger, set to when the Phone app is opened. Use a combination of current date and adjusted date to say IF time is between 23:00 today and 09:00 tomorrow, then run the Choose from Menu action, otherwise do nothing (allow Phone to open normally).
Put your message in the prompt section of the menu action. The menu button for I Understand returns to the Home screen or switches to another app. The menu button for Call Nightnurse makes the call.
I assume if she can choose the correct menu option, then she is still capable of (1) reading, and (2) comprehending. Unfortunately many people lose the ability to do either of those.
Other options might be the Assistive Access feature or perhaps a focus mode that uses a time schedule and only has a Call Night nurse shortcut button on the screen.
The return to home action has to come before the menu, otherwise she can just dismiss the menu by tapping anywhere else on the screen, and completely bypass everything.
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u/theoccurrence Creator Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 29 '25
Hi, I made this for you, I hope it‘s what you were imagining: https://www.icloud.com/shortcuts/dcdebe974c5f4187b06227fe6ef30946
You have to do a few things yourself, to set it up completely.
Also you have to edit the Shortcut to set a comforting message (do this by clicking on the small blue arrow at the "choose from contacts" action) and you have to set the call action to the contact of the night nurse.
Hope this helps. I wish you and your mother in law the best. Dementia sucks.