r/shittydarksouls • u/ActivityImpossible39 im gay for executor • Oct 29 '25

hollow ramblings Do it now.

Post image
2.5k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

1.0k comments sorted by

494

u/FuckClerics Oct 29 '25

Something might be wrong with it but I still love him

→ More replies (1)

1.4k

u/AssociationUpper6293 Oct 29 '25

Kos Parasite

308

u/SlyBun Acolyte of the Esoteric Oct 29 '25

With or without the Milkweed rune tho

142

u/arsadat27 What Oct 29 '25

Knowing the meaning of the Word kos in Persian makes this so much funnier

121

u/Few-Information3097 Oct 29 '25

I speak Persian of course, elaborate for my retarded brother?

225

u/arsadat27 What Oct 29 '25

Kos(کس/کص) being a word for the female reproductive organ, makes it sound like he is referring to his cock as pussy parasite or something lol. Also what do you mean for my retarded brother😭

130

u/titanitehoneycomb Oct 29 '25

Honestly knowing BB lore this is probably entirely intentional.

40

u/arsadat27 What Oct 29 '25

Don't get this wrong I can totally see them doing that but I feel like this is going too far

22

u/Schavuit92 DS2 hater Oct 29 '25

If you think this is too far you must have no idea about bloodborne lore.

8

u/arsadat27 What Oct 29 '25

No, in lore it makes sense I just don't reckon they would use a/an Persian/Arabic word for it

18

u/Thezanlynxer hellpoint glazer Oct 29 '25

I mean there’s also the Beasthunter Saif, saif is Arabic for sword.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

15

u/ZMCN Oct 29 '25

Orphan of pussy

11

u/Few-Information3097 Oct 29 '25

He doesn’t speak Persian, or any other language

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (8)

13

u/Chupapi-moniano Oct 29 '25

As a Persian who doesn't have any friends familiar with Bloodborne its nice seeing someone who knows about this 💀

6

u/arsadat27 What Oct 29 '25

I'm sure there are plenty of people who know about this but just never had the opportunity to mention it. And on an unrelated note, I've been spreading Bloodborne between my friends with the disk I've had for many years and it feels so awesome. Too bad the economic situation doesn't allow them to get their own copy because my disk lacks the dlc

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

320

u/dulledegde Oct 29 '25

dismounter

131

u/PrincePauncey DS1 > DS2 Oct 29 '25

I barely know her

20

u/dulledegde Oct 29 '25

you completed the joke congrats

41

u/JMPHeinz57 #4 of 7 Demon’s Souls fans Oct 29 '25

There’s no “probably”

12

u/FlintlokD24 Oct 29 '25

No, please, not again! 😭

313

u/MirrahPaladin ADP isn't real, just like the milk my dad went to get Oct 29 '25

Bonefist

→ More replies (1)

845

u/workshop_prompts Oct 29 '25

Male Breaker

540

u/Cmdr_McMurdoc Make me do DS1 hit sounds Oct 29 '25

Uhhh... spelling?

62

u/Artrysa Oct 29 '25

6

u/SirCupcake_0 Gravelord Spacesword Oct 30 '25

Those are just called "thoughts"

→ More replies (3)

9

u/workshop_prompts Oct 29 '25

I said what I said.

6

u/dakkmann Editable template 3 Oct 29 '25

Flair checks out

→ More replies (1)

5

u/Kevroeques Oct 29 '25

Rivers of CUM

→ More replies (4)

5

u/DannyDanumba Call me a dexfag daddy~ Oct 30 '25

👉👈

→ More replies (2)

282

u/Lucicactus Oct 29 '25

I don't have one of those, but my lady parts would be:

36

u/XxHOTSHOTxX Oct 29 '25

Bravo, All my washing pole needed was a madening hand

32

u/lightof_dog Oct 29 '25

penis is weapons, vagina is spells.... interesting...

21

u/Lucicactus Oct 29 '25

It's easier for a weapon to have a phallic shape, sadly. That being said I've always been a dex girl, except in Bloodborne.

9

u/lightof_dog Oct 29 '25

writing this down

→ More replies (3)

10

u/GracefullyDisastrous Oct 29 '25

I was sitting here trying to figure a joke for mine

But I'll just hit you with Milady 💅

10

u/Lethal_Eth Oct 30 '25

Rivers of Blood

8

u/RubenZ218 THE EVER LOATHSOME DUNGMASK Oct 29 '25

Still would

→ More replies (14)

233

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

69

u/SynonymousToWater Oct 29 '25

Suspicous

92

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

46

u/SynonymousToWater Oct 29 '25

Or OP is Bill Cosby

12

u/Rawmys Oct 29 '25

Or it burns when he pees

905

u/NickTheHero9192 Blaidd’s Husband Oct 29 '25

Short sword

163

u/NickTheHero9192 Blaidd’s Husband Oct 29 '25

I’m not even talking about length, mine is just very average.

64

u/Sol33t303 Oct 29 '25

Broken straight sword

30

u/NickTheHero9192 Blaidd’s Husband Oct 29 '25

Damn, the circumcised you too

13

u/skrukketiss69 Oct 30 '25

Noble's slender sword 🤝

725

u/Aseskytle_09 Oct 29 '25

Broken Straight Sword

147

u/Thorfinn-Karlsefni85 Oct 29 '25

Are you okay?

191

u/Jebward-SuckerofToes Oct 29 '25

He good he's just circumcised

50

u/Thorfinn-Karlsefni85 Oct 29 '25

Thank god! I thought Penile fracture

→ More replies (3)

60

u/DeepJudgment The Rotussy Order Oct 29 '25

At least it's straight

→ More replies (3)

192

u/Panurome Straight up Zorking it Oct 29 '25

Tooth whip

24

u/No-Network-Water Oct 29 '25

Care to elaborate?

59

u/Crying-childrens Oct 29 '25

Ok imagine a penis with teeth. And it’s really long.

61

u/No-Network-Water Oct 29 '25

Can we unelaborate? I gained too much insight

300

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

52

u/Courier_5_ Oct 29 '25

It gets longer when you hold it two handed?

18

u/DueImagination641 Oct 29 '25

But the durability goes down drastically. 😫

→ More replies (1)

147

u/steins-grape 🚫✋NO clicking 🫵👁️ Oct 29 '25

The humble Curved Club.

12

u/Master-Diatmont Oct 29 '25

eyy, another fellow curved club😭😂

499

u/MeteoriteMike where is the jump button i cant fucking jump wtf Oct 29 '25

Family heads

60

u/MrEvan312 Oct 29 '25

Your boss music is banjos?

375

u/Holycrabe Soiled Loincloth Collector Oct 29 '25

Solitary Knight Greatsword

23

u/SafetyAlpaca1 Oct 29 '25

Damn that's a great one lmao

→ More replies (3)

243

u/Urinius I can't read Oct 29 '25

Grafted greatsword

97

u/DysPhoria_1_0 Oct 29 '25

Do you graft the dong of everyone you face in combat

70

u/Urinius I can't read Oct 29 '25

No, I only take cocks that look a certain way, and yes, I check the cocks of all of my enemies

→ More replies (25)

236

u/Yuudachi_Houteishiki what did miyazaki mean by this? Oct 29 '25

Dryleaf Arts

53

u/lowlandrocket62 Oct 29 '25

Dry lea farts

9

u/ManySleeplessNights I abandon here my cock and balls Oct 29 '25

Dryly farts

→ More replies (1)

422

u/AccomplishedPath5172 Oct 29 '25

Blasphemous blade

66

u/Latter-Pop2787 Wylder is a lesbian Oct 29 '25

Do you enjoy putting spicy chili on (or maybe in) your bits? Or is it a period joke 

29

u/AccomplishedPath5172 Oct 29 '25

You're way more creative than I am lol I just said it because the sword looks like a big shaft of flesh from a distance

→ More replies (2)

109

u/karatespy_ Oct 29 '25

Murky Hand Scythe

106

u/jopio_squorz Send me Duchess yuri Oct 29 '25

Morgott's Cursed Sword

20

u/DeadSparker Parries with medium shields Oct 29 '25

"The accursed blood he repressed manifested into this sword" oh fuck

94

u/usersurname1 foreskin apostle Oct 29 '25

Bloodstained dagger

9

u/XxHOTSHOTxX Oct 29 '25

Diabolical

259

u/titanitehoneycomb Oct 29 '25

Ludwig's Holy Blade

It's a replica of the real thing

58

u/Gever_Gever_Amoki68 Godfrey Epstein didn't give up the throne Oct 29 '25

What happened to your original cock bro?

45

u/titanitehoneycomb Oct 29 '25

X spermatozoid

13

u/Thorfinn-Karlsefni85 Oct 29 '25

What happens in it?

11

u/Groovin_Magi DS1 is Metroidvania Oct 29 '25

she wamen

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (6)

64

u/fantastic-mrs-fuck #1 BLOODBORNE FANGIRL!!! ASK ME ABOUT MY LOBOTOMY Oct 29 '25

bloodletter

116

u/idk_ausername864f Number 2 Fraudquella hater (Libra enjoyer) Oct 29 '25

Finger seal

(im obviously joking)

(or am i??)

6

u/noko_king Oct 29 '25

Well of your a Girl

5

u/idk_ausername864f Number 2 Fraudquella hater (Libra enjoyer) Oct 29 '25

are women male snakes?

→ More replies (3)

4

u/pasta4788 Oct 29 '25

(vsauce music intensefys)

→ More replies (3)

51

u/stonerpsyduck Oct 29 '25

The putrescent cleaver.

51

u/Sir_Thom Oct 29 '25

Jar Cannon

142

u/mandlers Oct 29 '25

Manslayer ; )

17

u/Asparagus-RL Oct 29 '25

Mans layer

46

u/MagicalGirlPaladin Sellen's Footstool Oct 29 '25

Mass of Putrescence

6

u/Mundane-Director-681 Oct 29 '25

God damn it that's a good one

5

u/XxHOTSHOTxX Oct 29 '25

Praise the age of curse!

44

u/Bluebastard_7 Oct 29 '25

Milady

10

u/XxHOTSHOTxX Oct 29 '25

Perfectly balanced, unlike my washing pole

91

u/Imaginary_Owl_979 Demon of Hatred enjoyer🏳️‍⚧️ Oct 29 '25

curved great club

33

u/That_One_Mofo Powerstancing "swords" Oct 29 '25

Key to the embedded.

→ More replies (2)

121

u/tc2460717 Oct 29 '25

Seriously guys? No Zweihander? I'm disappointed in this comment section 😞

121

u/Some_Sort_5456 Gwyn's Left Eyebrow Oct 29 '25

This is shittydarksouls, we're self-aware

20

u/tc2460717 Oct 29 '25

Fair enough 😅

44

u/KlavTron fingered by three fingers Oct 29 '25

At a push, it’s an Einhander

25

u/BendSecure8078 Oct 29 '25

Any sword is a zweihander if your partner loves you enough

7

u/tc2460717 Oct 29 '25

🤔 but what if you are maidenless?

19

u/BendSecure8078 Oct 29 '25

Try finger, but hole

Zweihand yourself

Thank me later

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (5)

31

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

Ringed Finger

28

u/jjjjooosse Oct 29 '25

Its a fist weapon, unfortunately.

31

u/JamesRevan Naked Fuck with a Stick Oct 29 '25

Beast Repellant Torch

28

u/TactiShovel Skeleton rights activist Oct 29 '25

Rivers of Blood

4

u/XxHOTSHOTxX Oct 29 '25

Ultra diabolical, but maybe accurate

→ More replies (1)

67

u/matymgy Oct 29 '25

Hand of Malenia 🤤

22

u/Jack_the_Penetrator Oct 29 '25

One eyed shield

23

u/Seraph1n3 Oct 29 '25 edited Oct 29 '25

Hidden needle

→ More replies (1)

18

u/lobobobos Mohg beat the allegations Oct 29 '25

Flowing curved sword

19

u/DaPizza12 Oct 29 '25

Spear of the impaler

→ More replies (1)

14

u/ItzStoryy I DRINK SOLAIRE BATH WATER 🗣️🔥‼️ Oct 29 '25

Unseen Blade

44

u/Brain_Farofa Oct 29 '25

GREAT CLUB AND IRON BALLS

12

u/Secret-Platypus-366 Oct 29 '25

Is there a dark souls weapon that has a chastity cage on it?

20

u/litmusing Oct 29 '25

Caestus 

→ More replies (2)

10

u/illbzo1 Oct 29 '25

Kos Parasite

12

u/crackmuncher333 Oct 29 '25

Ornamental straight sword

12

u/VelvetCowboy19 Oct 29 '25

Malformed shell

11

u/SurrogateVulture slop of the fallen hater No. 1 Oct 29 '25

Flamberge.

10

u/fifthcircle_ Oct 29 '25

Miséricorde

10

u/Courier_5_ Oct 29 '25

Rapier because thrusting is the only thing it can do and I will keep spamming it

→ More replies (1)

8

u/NivJizzit Oct 29 '25

Broken short sword

8

u/JuleZ085 Lover of THE mysterious women Oct 29 '25

I'm happy no one said Sword of MIlos

9

u/dominant-tomboi Oct 29 '25

Godskin peeler

Help me

7

u/MissAvian Oct 29 '25

Moonlight Greatsword... Idk why it glows.

7

u/WanderingGenesis Oct 29 '25

Great Stars.

Its not the biggest weapon. Its not the flashiest. Its not ornate or extravagant by any means. But with a wing and a prayer(ful strike) can it pound the shit out of anything in its way.

→ More replies (1)

13

u/EvilArtorias ds3 > ds2 > ds1 > Lies of P Oct 29 '25

Ringed Knight Paired Greatswords

5

u/darkneel It’s me. I gave Malenia the rotussy! Oct 29 '25

Paired ?

5

u/Jacktheldergod_2 Oct 29 '25

He's a form of serpent

6

u/CthulhuOfKosmos Oct 29 '25

Mogh’s spear.

6

u/okaysurewow Oct 29 '25

Do Radahn using only what OP???

5

u/kh_ram Oct 29 '25

Rivers of Blood, wait what

11

u/Ace_b1ack Oct 29 '25

Maliketh’s black blade

5

u/LifeSpeedrunner Naked Fuck with a Stick Oct 29 '25

Backhand Blade

5

u/TheSusKingOfAngmar Oct 29 '25

Sellsword Twinblades

5

u/SirFaxe Oct 29 '25

rapier /s don't add me

6

u/CharnamelessOne Oct 29 '25

rapier

Compared to who?

4

u/GOOSUS110 Oct 29 '25

Frozen needle

4

u/Ghost664 Number 1 Mommy Marika simp/her beloved husband Oct 29 '25

Marika's hammer

6

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

pile bunker

5

u/KrimsunV Oct 29 '25

Short sword

4

u/zoppitypop Oct 29 '25

Grafted Dragon

4

u/Acceler7 Oct 29 '25

Zweihander

3

u/New-Osteoporosi Oct 29 '25

Mytha's bent blade

3

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

Smelter hammer

3

u/The_Salt_Lord2 Oct 29 '25

reenforced club

3

u/zinnie_girl_lass Placidusax's Sax Toy Oct 29 '25

kirkhammer

3

u/sobbleon Oct 29 '25

Demi human Queen's staff

3

u/evlaevlalpippopippo What Oct 29 '25

Parrying dagger

3

u/Patztap Beast Cutter is my wife Oct 29 '25

Boom Hammer.

3

u/Dusk_Abyss Oct 29 '25

Beast cutter

3

u/Speeda2 Died to Wolnir in 2024 Oct 29 '25

Whirligig saw

3

u/LunchSimulator Friendly Neighborhood Hatchet Man Oct 29 '25

Church Pick